Raising Resilient Children Conducted by [Practitioner Name]

Today’s Agenda Overview of Triple P Highlights from Seminars 1 & 2 Emotional resilience in children Building blocks for success Take home messages Question time

Overview of Triple P Triple P = Positive Parenting Program Developed in Australia 30 years of research Used in 22 countries Local program sponsored by First 5 Santa Cruz County Background: Origins-Australia; 30 years ago Research based- shows effectiveness First 5 SCC Sponsored Positive Parenting Program (Triple P) is a parent education program that originated in Australia over 30 years ago. Triple P provides an array of services for the different needs parents have. Over 30 years of research shows that it is effective and it helps parents. First 5 Santa Cruz County is sponsoring Triple P services through-out the county.

Triple P Services Seminars: General parenting information The Power of Positive Parenting Raising Confident, Competent Children Raising Resilient Children Workshops: Brief help with specific and common parenting issues Groups: Brief (4 sessions) or In-depth (8 sessions) One on One Consultations : Brief (1-4 sessions) or In-depth (10 sessions) Additional Triple P Support Different types of service Seminars-general information and an introduction to Triple P concepts -The Power of Positive Parenting- provides an introduction to the Triple P program -Raising Confident, Competent Children- covers social and emotional skills that children need in order to thrive at home, in school and throughout life -Raising Resilient Children- offers strategies to teach children healthy ways to deal with their emotions Workshops-provide tips for handling everyday parenting situations such as encouraging sharing, establishing bedtime routines and handling tantrums.  Groups- Learn strategies for handling specific parenting situations through a brief group with other families or Get in-depth information and support on parenting concerns in a group setting with other families. One on One consultations- brief-Learn strategies for handling specific parenting situations through individual consultations (1-4 sessions) or In-depth-Work one-on-one with a practitioner to get in-depth information and support that is tailored to your family’s needs (10 sessions) Additional Support-Parents who have completed Individual or Group Triple P can receive additional parenting support from a practitioner if they would like help with: Managing their own emotions, Improving communication and teamwork with a parenting partner What to expect in Seminar 1 Framework and principals of Triple P A little bit on encouraging desirable behavior & discouraging misbehavior At the end can discuss how to get more in-depth info on strategies

Seminar 1: 5 Principles Creating a safe, interesting environment Having a positive learning environment Using assertive discipline Having realistic expectations Taking care of yourself Before we begin covering the content for today’s Seminar, I want to do a quick recap of what we covered in Seminar 1 (The Power of Positive Parenting) and Seminar 2 (Raising Confident, Competent Children). If any of you missed those seminars, you can sign up to attend one that is offered in the future. In Seminar 1, we talked about the 5 principles of positive parenting (read/summarize the 5 principles).

Seminar 2: Building blocks Raising confident, competent children In Seminar 2, we talked about “building blocks” that are needed to raise children who are confident and competent (meaning they are able to get along with others, able to problem-solve, they feel good about themselves, etc) Read/summarize building blocks. This brings us to today’s Seminar on Raising Resilient Children.

Emotional resilience Emotional resilience is the ability to: recognize and accept feelings express feelings in appropriate ways face and resolve difficult situations cope with stressful or upsetting situations These abilities are related to children’s development

Importance of resilience Children need to learn to cope with everyday feelings and difficult situations Some children experience very stressful life events Ability to cope with feelings is related to social skills and relationships tolerance and compassion coping with life experiences prevention of emotional problems

Benefits for children Emotionally resilient children are: caring and socially skilled empathic and sensitive able to manage their feelings able to cope with stress or unpleasant experiences less likely to resort to unhelpful ways of coping

Building blocks

Building block 1 Recognizing and accepting feelings

Developmental changes Children gradually: learn to recognize and understand their emotions and those of others become aware of different feelings learn the words to describe their feelings develop more complex feelings These changes are related to their language, thinking and experiences

What parents can do Accept that ups and downs are normal Talk about feelings Be emotionally expressive Share feelings appropriately Help your child recognize and name emotions Encourage your child to be emotionally expressive

Building block 2 Expressing feelings appropriately

Expressing emotions What emotional expression is OK words expressions actions When to express feelings to whom how often how much What emotional expression is not OK Family and cultural expectations

Traps for parents Talking too much about own feelings Dwelling on upsets Showing too much interest in feelings Being overly sympathetic or encouraging avoidance Over-reacting to minor upsetting events Not giving enough attention to other behavior

Talking about feelings Ask how your child feels Listen to what they say Summarize what they say Avoid telling your child how they should feel Read stories and talk about the characters’ feelings Help your child recognize feelings in others

Encouraging children Give your child positive attention for expressing feelings in appropriate ways positive feelings negative feelings Congratulate your child for managing difficult situations

Dealing with problems Use consistent discipline tell your child to stop acknowledge their feelings give a brief explanation tell your child what to do instead use back up consequences if needed Model better ways of expressing feelings

Building block 3 Building a positive outlook

A positive outlook Having a positive outlook can involve: optimistic thinking curiosity and exploration contentment

Encouraging optimism Model being optimistic Encourage goals Encourage initiative and creativity Encourage activities where your child will experience success Show how your child has control over events Point out what your child does well Talk about the ‘good side’

Encouraging curiosity Encourage your child to decide what to do Let your child explore and show your interest Be available when your child wants to show you something Ask questions and make comments Help your child learn how to find more information

Encouraging contentment Model being appreciative and grateful Ask about the day’s highlights Have shared family experiences Discuss other people’s point of view Discuss accepting things that can’t be changed Foster involvement in meaningful activities Encourage your child to slow down and take in their world

Building block 4 Developing coping skills

Coping skills Problem solving Positive self-talk Talking back to unhelpful thoughts Relaxing mentally and physically Asking for help and support

Helping problem solving Set a good example Play games that promote thinking Encourage your child to find answers Prompt your child to work at solving problems Congratulate your child when they solve a problem on their own Involve your child in family problem solving

Problem solving steps Define the problem Come up with solutions Evaluate the options Decide on the best solution Put the plan into action Review how it worked and revise the plan if necessary

Building positive self-talk Ask your child to evaluate their own achievements Explain how thinking different ways affects how you feel Prompt your child to think about what others might think or feel Point out helpful and unhelpful thinking Model using positive self-talk to cope with stress

Helping children relax Provide a good model of how to manage stress Help children find ways to relax that work for them Relaxation strategies include: taking slow, deep breaths relaxing their muscles listening to a relaxation tape or calming music

Looking for support Discuss how everyone needs to talk Talk about how you get support from others Help children find someone to talk to: a close family member a trusted friend a school teacher a counsellor

Building block 5 Dealing with negative feelings

Negative emotions All children have negative emotions Parents cannot completely protect children from these feelings Many emotions pass quickly Parents can calmly assist and prompt problem solving Parents can help children learn to resolve negative feelings on their own

Managing emotions Notice when your child is upset Ask what is wrong and listen Summarize what you have heard Acknowledge their feelings Ask what they want to do Ask how you can help Prompt problem solving If upset continues, suggest ‘cooling off’ Stay calm yourself Make a time to talk later

Preparing for emotions Help your child learn to cope on their own, for example, with anxiety Set a good example Talk about anxious feelings Teach your child coping strategies Encourage facing fears gradually Stay calm Prompt coping strategies Praise your child’s efforts Talk about dangerous situations

Building block 6 Dealing with stressful events

Stressful life events Change Problems with peers Major disappointment Unpleasant experiences Loss Marital separation or divorce Joining a new family Trauma or serious illness Natural disasters Terrifying experiences

Coping with life events Allow your child to be upset Ask what happened Say something positive Reassure your child where appropriate Don’t feel you have to solve the problem Suggest something to cheer your child up Check later Encourage use of coping skills Seek advice if the problem continues

Example: moving house Explain why the move is necessary Familiarize your child with the new situation Talk about the advantages Get your child involved Maintain routines as much as possible Help your child keep in touch with friends

Example: dealing with loss Consider your child’s developmental level Reassure your child where appropriate Encourage appropriate expression of feelings Provide information Maintain routines as much as possible Arrange a child carer if the loss affects you Talk about feelings, coping, memories

Take home messages

Take home messages The foundations for emotional resilience are laid in early childhood Emotional skills are important for happiness, wellbeing and success in life Children learn a lot about managing their emotions from parents

Take home messages Parents can help children learn to: recognize and accept feelings express feelings in appropriate ways develop a positive outlook and coping skills deal with negative feelings and stressful life events

Tip Sheet Review it with your partner or by yourself. Review it this week! Choose one strategy you learned today to try at home. The tip sheet provided for this seminar gives you an overview of what was discussed in today’. I encourage you to not just set in on your counter and forget about it, but to pick it back up and look at it again with your partner or by yourself tonight or just sometime this week while it’s still fresh in your minds. You can use this as a tool for starting some new positive parenting strategies at home right away.

Next Steps Attend the next seminar [insert date] Contact [insert name] for more services [insert info] Contact First 5 Santa Cruz County for more services (831) 465-2217 or sbluford@first5scc.org or visit www.first5scc.org Review what to expect at the next 2 seminars Inform parents on how to get more in-depth services Provide your information Describe type of services you provide (i.e. workshops, one on one) Provide info on First 5 (website calendar & warmline-www.first5scc.org & (831) 465-2217 Give out the Triple P cards Form a workshop right then Have them select from workshop topics- which topics they would like a workshop for (“It sounds like there is a group of you who are interested in learning more about Triple P strategies. Here is a list of Triple P workshop topics. We can select which 2-3 topics are of interest to this group and set up a workshop.”) Identify a topic based on seminar discussions and let them know you will give them more details about date/time the next week (“It sounds like there is a group of you who are interested in learning more about Triple P strategies, specifically, how to handle tantrums. I can set up a workshop on this topic if there are enough of you interested. Please let me know if you would attend something like this if I set it up”)

Stay Connected “Like” us on Facebook! www.facebook.com/triplepscc Review what to expect at the next 2 seminars Inform parents on how to get more in-depth services Provide your information Describe type of services you provide (i.e. workshops, one on one) Provide info on First 5 (website calendar & warmline-www.first5scc.org & (831) 465-2217 Give out the Triple P cards Form a workshop right then Have them select from workshop topics- which topics they would like a workshop for (“It sounds like there is a group of you who are interested in learning more about Triple P strategies. Here is a list of Triple P workshop topics. We can select which 2-3 topics are of interest to this group and set up a workshop.”) Identify a topic based on seminar discussions and let them know you will give them more details about date/time the next week (“It sounds like there is a group of you who are interested in learning more about Triple P strategies, specifically, how to handle tantrums. I can set up a workshop on this topic if there are enough of you interested. Please let me know if you would attend something like this if I set it up”)

Question time

Positive Parenting… Small changes, Big differences