The Power of NO! You Cannot say Yes to Everyone and Everything 7 Things to Say “No” to Today PCBN Pacific Coast Business Networking November 12, 2014

Overwhelmed!!! People can become so overwhelmed with multiple demands on their time that they can't get started on anything, much less those tasks that they need to get through somehow. You've got to get stuff done at work & at home.

The Problem with “Yes” How many times have you heard yourself saying Yes to the wrong things? Overwhelming Requests Time-Consuming Obligations Immediate pleasures at the expense of long term success (dessert vs exercise)

A Well-Placed “NO” A well placed “No” can not only save you Time and Trouble – It can save your life by reducing STRESS. Saying “Yes” too often can can cause anguish, desperation, and anxiety.

The Right to Say “No” You have the right to say “No” - To anything that is hurting you. - To non-priority items - To standards that no longer serve you. - To people who drain you of your creativity. - To people who drain you of your time.

7 Things to Say “No” To #1 Say “No” to Social Pressure We were taught to be polite, to be nice, and to say yes at all the wrong moments. This leads us to be pressured by colleagues, bosses, friends and family to attend to their needs.

7 Things to Say “No” To #2 Say “No” to Negative Chatter Sometimes we get stuck in negative chatter that becomes a running commentary on our lives like the news programs that only tells us the bad news that happens all day long. - How could he/ she do this to me? - Why does that person always look like an idiot? - Do I look unattractive? - Why don’t you pay more attention to me? - Did you hear about the terrible thing that happened?

7 Things to Say “No” To #3 Say “No” to people you know are not good for you You will never find your own creative talent by saying “Yes” to all the people: - who seek to drain you with relationships that go nowhere. - people who try to control you, - people who put you down - People who cheat or lie to you - Clients who abuse your time

7 Things to Say “No” To #4 Say “No” to Being a Slave Do what you Love. Control your life. How can you have the life of your dreams by constantly sacrificing your dreams for those of others?

7 Things to Say “No” To #5 Say “No” to Sudden Negative Thought Attacks We can’t undue the past – the future hasn’t happened yet Most of the things we worry about – never happen Focus on the present and be fully alive.

7 Things to Say “No” To #6 Say “No” to things that are not directly relevant to critical tasks at hand. Sometimes that means say “No” to people who were looking to informally network, casual friends who wanted to catch up over coffee or any other requests on you time.

7 Things to Say “No” To #7 Say “No” to Unhealthy Choices Prioritize the important things in life Health – exercise & diet Emotional connections Mental focus Spiritual alignment

Here's How To Say “No” Just say, “I’m sorry. I can't do this right now.” Use a sympathetic, but firm tone. If pressured as to why, reply that it doesn’t fit with your schedule, and change the subject.

Here's How To Say “No” “Let me think about it and get back to you.” If you’re uncomfortable being so firm, or are dealing with pushy people, it’s OK to say, “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This gives you a chance to review your schedule, as well as your feelings about saying "yes" to another commitment.

Here's How To Say “No” “I can’t do this, but I can…” If you would really like to do what they’re requesting, but don’t have the time it’s fine to say, “I can’t do this, but I can…” and mention a lesser commitment that you can make.

Tips Be firm -- not defensive or overly apologetic - - and polite. This gives the signal that you are sympathetic, but will not easily change your mind if pressured.

Tips If asked for an explanation, remember that you really don’t owe anyone one. “It doesn’t fit with my schedule,” is perfectly acceptable.

Tips Remember that there are only so many hours in the day. This means that whatever you choose to take on- limits your ability to do other things.