Marriage in America (Part 4): The Kids Are Not All Right Ephesians 6:1-4

“Gays should fight for same-sex marriage and its benefits and then, once granted, redefine the institution of marriage completely, because the most subversive action lesbians and gay men can undertake…is to transform the notion of ‘family’ entirely.” - Michelangelo Signorile, “Bridal Wave,” Out 42 (December-January 1994), 161“Gays should fight for same-sex marriage and its benefits and then, once granted, redefine the institution of marriage completely, because the most subversive action lesbians and gay men can undertake…is to transform the notion of ‘family’ entirely.” - Michelangelo Signorile, “Bridal Wave,” Out 42 (December-January 1994), 161

“Same-sex marriage would further undercut the idea that procreation is intrinsically connected to marriage. It would undermine the idea that children need both a mother and a father, further weakening the societal norm that men should take responsibility for the children they beget. Finally, same-sex marriage would likely corrode marital norms of sexual fidelity, since gay- marriage advocates and gay couples tend to downplay the importance of sexual fidelity in their definition of marriage.” - Marriage and the Public Good: Ten Principles. The Witherspoon Institute. Kindle Edition.“Same-sex marriage would further undercut the idea that procreation is intrinsically connected to marriage. It would undermine the idea that children need both a mother and a father, further weakening the societal norm that men should take responsibility for the children they beget. Finally, same-sex marriage would likely corrode marital norms of sexual fidelity, since gay- marriage advocates and gay couples tend to downplay the importance of sexual fidelity in their definition of marriage.” - Marriage and the Public Good: Ten Principles. The Witherspoon Institute. Kindle Edition.

“Anti-equality right-wingers have long insisted that allowing gays to marry will destroy the sanctity of ‘traditional marriage,’ and, of course, the logical, liberal party-line response has long been ‘No, it won't.’ But what if—for once—the sanctimonious crazies are right? Could the gay male tradition of open relationships actually alter marriage as we know it? And would that be such a bad thing?” - Ari Karpel, “Monogamish,” The Advocate“Anti-equality right-wingers have long insisted that allowing gays to marry will destroy the sanctity of ‘traditional marriage,’ and, of course, the logical, liberal party-line response has long been ‘No, it won't.’ But what if—for once—the sanctimonious crazies are right? Could the gay male tradition of open relationships actually alter marriage as we know it? And would that be such a bad thing?” - Ari Karpel, “Monogamish,” The Advocate

“If same-sex marriage becomes legal, the venerable institution will ever after stand for sexual choice, for cutting the link between sex and diapers…Same-sex marriage…announces that marriage has changed shape.” - Same-Sex Marriage: Pro and Con, edited by Andrew Sullivan, p. 135“If same-sex marriage becomes legal, the venerable institution will ever after stand for sexual choice, for cutting the link between sex and diapers…Same-sex marriage…announces that marriage has changed shape.” - Same-Sex Marriage: Pro and Con, edited by Andrew Sullivan, p. 135

“And after all, we are advocating the destruction of the centrality of marriage and the nuclear family unit....” – Ryan Conrad, xtra.ca“And after all, we are advocating the destruction of the centrality of marriage and the nuclear family unit....” – Ryan Conrad, xtra.ca

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH. 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4) 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH. 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4)

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24) “Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father… I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 19:3)“Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father… I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 19:3)

And David went from there to Mizpah of Moab; and he said to the king of Moab, “Please let my father and my mother come and stay with you until I know what God will do for me.” (1 Samuel 22:3)And David went from there to Mizpah of Moab; and he said to the king of Moab, “Please let my father and my mother come and stay with you until I know what God will do for me.” (1 Samuel 22:3)

Elisha left the oxen standing there, ran after Elijah, and said to him, “First let me go and kiss my father and mother good-bye, and then I will go with you!” Elijah replied, “Go on back, but think about what I have done to you.” (1 Kings 19:20)Elisha left the oxen standing there, ran after Elijah, and said to him, “First let me go and kiss my father and mother good-bye, and then I will go with you!” Elijah replied, “Go on back, but think about what I have done to you.” (1 Kings 19:20)

My son, keep your father’s commandment, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. (Proverbs 6:20) Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. (Proverbs 23:22)

The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures. (Proverbs 30:17)The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures. (Proverbs 30:17) Father and mother are treated with contempt… (Ezekiel 22:7)Father and mother are treated with contempt… (Ezekiel 22:7)

8 But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully, 9 realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers 10 and sexually immoral men and homosexuals and slave traders and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching, 11 according to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, with which I have been entrusted. (1 Timothy 1:8-11) 8 But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully, 9 realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers 10 and sexually immoral men and homosexuals and slave traders and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching, 11 according to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, with which I have been entrusted. (1 Timothy 1:8-11)

Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why this union? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not be faithless to the wife of your youth. (Malachi 2:15)Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why this union? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not be faithless to the wife of your youth. (Malachi 2:15)

17 The Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, 18 since Abraham will surely become a great and mighty nation, and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed? 19 For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.” (Genesis 18:17-19) 17 The Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, 18 since Abraham will surely become a great and mighty nation, and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed? 19 For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.” (Genesis 18:17-19)

“Marriage exists to bring a man and a woman together as husband and wife to be father and mother to any children their union produces. It is based on the anthropological truth that men and women are different and complementary, the biological fact that reproduction depends on a man and a woman, and the social reality that children need both a mother and a father…Marriage has public purposes that transcend its private purposes.” - Ryan T. Anderson, “Marriage: What It Is, Why It Matters, and the Consequences of Redefining It” matters-and-the-consequences-of-redefining-it“Marriage exists to bring a man and a woman together as husband and wife to be father and mother to any children their union produces. It is based on the anthropological truth that men and women are different and complementary, the biological fact that reproduction depends on a man and a woman, and the social reality that children need both a mother and a father…Marriage has public purposes that transcend its private purposes.” - Ryan T. Anderson, “Marriage: What It Is, Why It Matters, and the Consequences of Redefining It” matters-and-the-consequences-of-redefining-it

“[Traditional] marriage laws reinforce the idea that the union of husband and wife is, on the whole, the most appropriate environment for rearing children—an ideal supported by the best available social science. Recognizing same-sex relationships as marriage would legally abolish that ideal. No civil institution would reinforce the notion that men and women typically have different strengths as parents; that boys and girls benefit from fathers and mothers in different ways…“[Traditional] marriage laws reinforce the idea that the union of husband and wife is, on the whole, the most appropriate environment for rearing children—an ideal supported by the best available social science. Recognizing same-sex relationships as marriage would legally abolish that ideal. No civil institution would reinforce the notion that men and women typically have different strengths as parents; that boys and girls benefit from fathers and mothers in different ways…

“Redefining marriage would thus soften the social pressures and lower the incentives—already diminished by these last few decades—for husbands to stay with their wives and children, or for men and women to marry before having children. All this would harm children’s development into happy, productive, upright adults.”“Redefining marriage would thus soften the social pressures and lower the incentives—already diminished by these last few decades—for husbands to stay with their wives and children, or for men and women to marry before having children. All this would harm children’s development into happy, productive, upright adults.” - Sherif Girgis, Ryan T. Anderson, Robert P. George. What is Marriage? Man and Woman: A Defense, p. 58, 8- Sherif Girgis, Ryan T. Anderson, Robert P. George. What is Marriage? Man and Woman: A Defense, p. 58, 8

“Research clearly demonstrates that family structure matters for children, and the family structure that helps children the most is a family headed by two biological parents...”“Research clearly demonstrates that family structure matters for children, and the family structure that helps children the most is a family headed by two biological parents...” - Kristin Anderson Moore, Susan M. Jekielek, and Carol Emig, “Marriage from a Child’s Perspective: How Does Family Structure Affect Children, and What Can Be Done About It?” Research Brief, June Washington, DC: Child Trends, p. 6.- Kristin Anderson Moore, Susan M. Jekielek, and Carol Emig, “Marriage from a Child’s Perspective: How Does Family Structure Affect Children, and What Can Be Done About It?” Research Brief, June Washington, DC: Child Trends, p. 6.

“Marriage is everywhere the word we use to describe a publicly acknowledged and supported sexual union between a man and woman which creates rights and obligations between the couple and any children the union may produce…Marriage is the fundamental, cross-cultural institution for bridging the male and female divide so that children have loving, committed mothers and fathers.”“Marriage is everywhere the word we use to describe a publicly acknowledged and supported sexual union between a man and woman which creates rights and obligations between the couple and any children the union may produce…Marriage is the fundamental, cross-cultural institution for bridging the male and female divide so that children have loving, committed mothers and fathers.” - Maggie Gallagher, “What is Marriage For? The Public Purposes of Marriage Law,” Louisiana Law Review, 62 (2002), Maggie Gallagher, “What is Marriage For? The Public Purposes of Marriage Law,” Louisiana Law Review, 62 (2002),

“Not a single study has found children of lesbian or gay parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual parents.”“Not a single study has found children of lesbian or gay parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual parents.” - Charlotte Patterson, “Lesbian & Gay Parenting,” American Psychological Association, p. 15, full.pdf

Compared with children raised by their married biological parents, children of homosexual parents, either lesbians or male homosexuals: Have lower educational attainmentHave lower educational attainment Report less safety and security in their family of originReport less safety and security in their family of origin Report more ongoing “negative impact” from their family of originReport more ongoing “negative impact” from their family of origin Are much more likely to have received welfareAre much more likely to have received welfare

Children raised by lesbians or male homosexual parents: Are more than twice as likely to suffer from depressionAre more than twice as likely to suffer from depression Are up to 5 times more likely to think about suicide than children raised by their biological parentsAre up to 5 times more likely to think about suicide than children raised by their biological parents

Children raised by lesbians or male homosexual parents: Have been arrested more oftenHave been arrested more often If they are female, have had more sexual partners—both male and femaleIf they are female, have had more sexual partners—both male and female

Children of lesbian mothers, compared with children raised by their parents: Are more likely to be currently cohabitingAre more likely to be currently cohabiting Are almost 4 times more likely to be currently on public assistanceAre almost 4 times more likely to be currently on public assistance Are more than 3 times more likely to be unemployed (28% vs. 8%)Are more than 3 times more likely to be unemployed (28% vs. 8%)

Children of lesbian mothers, compared with children raised by their parents: Are nearly 4 times more likely to identify as something other than entirely heterosexualAre nearly 4 times more likely to identify as something other than entirely heterosexual Are 4 times more likely to have a sexually transmitted diseaseAre 4 times more likely to have a sexually transmitted disease

Children raised by lesbians are seven times more likely to become lesbians than children raised by heterosexualsChildren raised by lesbians are seven times more likely to become lesbians than children raised by heterosexuals - Fiona L. Tasker and Susan Golombok, “Adults Raised as Children in Lesbian Families,” Developmental Psychology, 31 (1995), 213

Children raised by homosexual men are three times more likely to practice homosexuality than children raised by heterosexuals - J. Michael Bailey, et. al., “Sexual Orientation of Adult Sons of Gay Fathers,” Developmental Psychology, 31 (1995), Children raised by homosexual men are three times more likely to practice homosexuality than children raised by heterosexuals - J. Michael Bailey, et. al., “Sexual Orientation of Adult Sons of Gay Fathers,” Developmental Psychology, 31 (1995),

Regnerus’ study also found that children raised by lesbians:Regnerus’ study also found that children raised by lesbians: Are 3 times more likely to have had committed adultery while married or cohabiting (40% vs. 13%)Are 3 times more likely to have had committed adultery while married or cohabiting (40% vs. 13%)

Children raised by lesbians:Children raised by lesbians: Are 10 times more likely to have been “touched sexually by a parent or other adult caregiver.”Are 10 times more likely to have been “touched sexually by a parent or other adult caregiver.”

Children raised by lesbians: Are almost 4 times as likely to have been rapedAre almost 4 times as likely to have been raped Are more likely to have “attachment” problems related to the ability to depend on othersAre more likely to have “attachment” problems related to the ability to depend on others Use marijuana more frequentlyUse marijuana more frequently Smoke more frequentlySmoke more frequently Watch TV for long periods more frequentlyWatch TV for long periods more frequently Have pled guilty to a major offense more oftenHave pled guilty to a major offense more often

When compared with outcomes for children raised by an intact biological family, the children raised by homosexuals did worse on 77 out of 80 outcome measures - Mark Regnerus, “How Different Are the Adult Children of Parents Who Have Same-Sex Relationships? Findings from the New Family Structures Study,” Social Science Research, Vol. 41, No. 4 (June 2012), pp. 752–770, X When compared with outcomes for children raised by an intact biological family, the children raised by homosexuals did worse on 77 out of 80 outcome measures - Mark Regnerus, “How Different Are the Adult Children of Parents Who Have Same-Sex Relationships? Findings from the New Family Structures Study,” Social Science Research, Vol. 41, No. 4 (June 2012), pp. 752–770, X

“Even after including controls for age, race, gender, family income, and things like being bullied as a youth, or the gay-friendliness of the state in which they live, such respondents were more apt to report being unemployed, less healthy, more depressed, more likely to have cheated on a spouse or partner, smoke more pot, having trouble with the law, report more male and female sex partners, more sexual victimization, and were more likely to reflect negatively on their childhood family life, among other things.” - Dr. Mark Regnerus, “Does it really make no difference if your parents are straight or gay?” o_different_.html“Even after including controls for age, race, gender, family income, and things like being bullied as a youth, or the gay-friendliness of the state in which they live, such respondents were more apt to report being unemployed, less healthy, more depressed, more likely to have cheated on a spouse or partner, smoke more pot, having trouble with the law, report more male and female sex partners, more sexual victimization, and were more likely to reflect negatively on their childhood family life, among other things.” - Dr. Mark Regnerus, “Does it really make no difference if your parents are straight or gay?” o_different_.html

By comparison, children of homosexual couples did the worst, in 9 of the 13 academic, moral, and social categories compared with children of heterosexuals.By comparison, children of homosexual couples did the worst, in 9 of the 13 academic, moral, and social categories compared with children of heterosexuals. - Sotirios Sarantakos, “Children in Three Contexts: Family, Education and Social development,” Children Australia 21, No. 3 (1996): Sotirios Sarantakos, “Children in Three Contexts: Family, Education and Social development,” Children Australia 21, No. 3 (1996):

“Same-sex marriage would enshrine in law a public judgment that the public desire of adults for families outweighs the need of children for mothers and fathers. It would give sanction and approval to the creation of a motherless or fatherless family…” - Maggie Gallagher, “What Is Marriage For?,” Weekly Standard, 11 August 2003, 23.“Same-sex marriage would enshrine in law a public judgment that the public desire of adults for families outweighs the need of children for mothers and fathers. It would give sanction and approval to the creation of a motherless or fatherless family…” - Maggie Gallagher, “What Is Marriage For?,” Weekly Standard, 11 August 2003, 23.

“We should disavow the notion that ‘mommies can make good daddies,’ just as we should disavow the popular notion of radical feminists that ‘daddies can make good mommies’…The two sexes are different to the core, and each is necessary—culturally and biologically—for the optimal development of the human being.” - David Popenoe, Life Without Father: Compelling New Evidence That Fatherhood and Marriage Are Indispensable for the Good of Children and Society, 197.“We should disavow the notion that ‘mommies can make good daddies,’ just as we should disavow the popular notion of radical feminists that ‘daddies can make good mommies’…The two sexes are different to the core, and each is necessary—culturally and biologically—for the optimal development of the human being.” - David Popenoe, Life Without Father: Compelling New Evidence That Fatherhood and Marriage Are Indispensable for the Good of Children and Society, 197.

Different Mothers: Sons and Daughters of Lesbians Talk about Their Lives, edited by Louise RafkinDifferent Mothers: Sons and Daughters of Lesbians Talk about Their Lives, edited by Louise Rafkin Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians: “Children raised by same-sex parents deeply feel the loss of a father or mother, no matter how much we love our gay parents or how much they love us.”Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians: “Children raised by same-sex parents deeply feel the loss of a father or mother, no matter how much we love our gay parents or how much they love us.”

Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians: “These children feel the loss keenly because they are powerless to stop the decision to deprive them of a father or mother, and the absence of a male or female parent will likely be irreversible for them.”Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians: “These children feel the loss keenly because they are powerless to stop the decision to deprive them of a father or mother, and the absence of a male or female parent will likely be irreversible for them.”

Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians: “They feel shame or guilt for resenting their loving parents for forcing them into a lifelong situation lacking a parent of one sex.”Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians: “They feel shame or guilt for resenting their loving parents for forcing them into a lifelong situation lacking a parent of one sex.”

Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians: “…having a mom and a dad is a precious value in its own right and not something that can be overridden, even if a gay couple has lots of money, can send a kid to the best schools, and raises the kid to be an Eagle Scout.”Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians: “…having a mom and a dad is a precious value in its own right and not something that can be overridden, even if a gay couple has lots of money, can send a kid to the best schools, and raises the kid to be an Eagle Scout.”

Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians: “Putting aside all the historical analogies to civil rights and the sentimental platitudes about love, the fact is that same-sex parenting suffers from insurmountable logistical problems for which children pay the steepest lifelong price.”Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians: “Putting aside all the historical analogies to civil rights and the sentimental platitudes about love, the fact is that same-sex parenting suffers from insurmountable logistical problems for which children pay the steepest lifelong price.”

Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians:Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, bisexual, raised by lesbians: “It is unconscionable to deliberately force a state of deprivation on innocent children.” - Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, “Justice Kennedy’s 40,000 Children,” and an amicus brief submitted to the Supreme Court, written with Doug Mainwaring is unconscionable to deliberately force a state of deprivation on innocent children.” - Dr. Robert Oscar Lopez, “Justice Kennedy’s 40,000 Children,” and an amicus brief submitted to the Supreme Court, written with Doug Mainwaring

1.Same-sex marriage doesn’t expand marriage, it destroys it. 2.Same-sex marriage threatens freedom of conscience, speech, and religious liberties. 3.Same-sex marriage should be opposed because homosexuality is not genetically caused or immutable and therefore same-sex marriage is not a civil right.

4.Homosexuality so inverts God’s design it leads to physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual ruin. 5.Same-sex parenting intentionally denies a child a mother or father, creating and codifying motherless or fatherless families which lead to significantly worse outcomes for children.

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed kept pure; for the sexually immoral and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)