ISMR 2007 Doorway Diplomacy: One On One Communications That Build Trust December 4, 2006 Jasper, Indiana

Doorway Diplomacy How To Say It and Get Away With It!

Doorway Diplomacy Are you an Ambassador?

What is an Ambassador?  1 : an official envoy; especially : a diplomatic agent of the highest rank accredited to a foreign government or sovereign as the resident representative of his own government or sovereign or appointed for a special and often temporary diplomatic assignment 2 a : an authorized representative or messenger b : an unofficial representative  1 : an official envoy; especially : a diplomatic agent of the highest rank accredited to a foreign government or sovereign as the resident representative of his own government or sovereign or appointed for a special and often temporary diplomatic assignment 2 a : an authorized representative or messenger b : an unofficial representative

Doorway Diplomacy But, I don’t want to be an ambassador.

Doorway Diplomacy Are you an Ambassador? You ARE an Ambassador!

Doorway Diplomacy Components of a Message:  Words  Tone  Body Language 7%38%55%

Doorway Diplomacy How well do you represent your agency?

Doorway Diplomacy She said… “I thought you told me I would not feel anything? The blast shook the whole house…a picture fell off the wall, but it didn’t break…I didn’t like it…I am going to call DPE and tell them it is not acceptable.”

Doorway Diplomacy He said… “Well, I’ll tell ya. Lookin at the records you should’nt have felt anything…We are within the regulations. I can’t help you.”

Doorway Diplomacy Translation?

Doorway Diplomacy Components of a Message:  Words  Tone  Body Language 7%38%55%

Doorway Diplomacy Words Matter AlwaysNeverASAPRecentlyNow A Few

Doorway Diplomacy Tone  Pitch  Pace  Volume

Doorway Diplomacy Body Language DO’sSmile Eye Contact Square Stance AppearanceDON’TsIgnore Divide Attention Twist and Turn Be Sloppy

Doorway Diplomacy Four Types of Listening:  Tracking.  Passive.  Active.  Contextual.

Doorway Diplomacy Contextual Listening – what is the real question that needs to be answered? What do they really want to know?

Doorway Diplomacy Barriers to Effective Listening  External Factors –Noise. –Weather. –Distance. –Distractions.  Internal Factors –Prior experience. –Emotion. –Perception. –Semantics.

Doorway Diplomacy  Assess.  Clarify.  Respond.

Doorway Diplomacy  Assess: –What is happening? –What needs to be done?  People  Timing  Desired Results  Execution

Doorway Diplomacy  Clarify: –Verify what you think you know. –Ask Who, What, When, Where, How. –Replace “…but,” with “…and,….” –Summarize and get agreement.

Doorway Diplomacy  Respond: –Say it.  We remember the first and last thing we hear. –Explain it.  Speak English and use common terms. –Repeat it.  We remember the first and last thing we hear.

Doorway Diplomacy  DO –Acknowledge people. –Listen and Watch. –Have a message. –Ask “W” questions with “…and…” –Speak English. –Offer hope and options.  DON’T –Pass on or ignore. –Assume or judge. –Guess. –Use “…but…” –Confuse, Defend, Deny. –Take it or leave it.

Doorway Diplomacy  Respond: –Say it.  We remember the first and last thing we hear. –Explain it.  Speak English and use common terms. –Repeat it.  We remember the first and last thing we hear.

Doorway Diplomacy