Rocky Relationships ‘The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself’ -Dr Steve Maraboli

What? Relationships are part of our every day life at home, with friends, at work and at school. Stress Strainer will help you develop coping strategies to deal with your relationships. Stress Strainer helps to stabilize relationships. Rocky relationships means: unstable, problematic, unreliable, undependable and troubled

Who? Parents, family, teachers, neighbours, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, students and children are all at risk of entering or staying in a rocky relationship, no matter what age, gender or anything inbetween! Kids, teenagers and adults are all at risk of being in a troubled relationship and they are all capable of fixing the relationship when things go wrong!!! Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love somebody isn’t just a strong feeling. It is a decision, a judgments and a promise.

Where? Rocky relationships can happen anywhere at anytime, including school, home, with friends, sport, work or anywhere you are interacting with others! There are ways of dealing with difficult relationships no matter where you are! If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem – Richard Bach

How? There are many things and events that can cause relationships to become rocky. The main culprits include gossip, arguments, jealousy, peer pressure and lies. People who are kind and honest can still be found in these situations and in that case it is important to stay understanding and true to yourself while seeking help in how to deal with the situation. Everything is going to be okay in the end. If it is not okay, it is not the end. - anon

Key warning signs that your relationship is on rocky grounds Some hard times are normal in a healthy relationship but here are some key signs that your relationship has hit rocky grounds. Consistent arguing – if an argument occurs between you and another, try to keep calm and keep your voice lowered so that a discussion or disagreement turns into negotiation rather than heated conflict! Lack of trust – trust is an important key in healthy relationships. Remember that trust is much easier and quickly lost than it is rebuilt Minimal communication – communication is the easiest way to solve differences between people if kept calm. A third party may be necessary to keep the peace. Have an adult sit in on a discussion to make sure things do not get out of control. Face to face communication is always better than talking via text messages, the phone or the internet when resolving differences!

Key warning signs your relationship is on rocky grounds Feelings of anger, resentment and jealousy towards the other person – To get rid of these emotions between you and the other/s we need to discover the causes and discuss them honestly. It is not healthy to hold grudges so remember to forgive and forget when appropriate! Spending more time crying then laughing – No one should spend most of their time crying! So remember that the only person who impacts your happiness or unhappiness is YOU! Lies, insults and gossiping – Tell the truth, rather than lie, try not to be purposely hurtful or gossip about anybody! if it happens to you, try to avoid gossip or insults! Remember never to fight fire with fire!

What to do about a rocky relationship? Fix 1# Decide what the problems are Figure out with the other person what exactly is wrong with the relationship, name them and decide what issues need working on. Fix 2# Accept responsibility and apologize Bad relationships don’t just ‘happen.’ They are bred, fed and nurtured so take responsibility for how you have contributed to it and discuss and apologize if appropriate! Fix 3# Communicate Make an appointment to talk. Switch off phones, computers and have all attention focused on the other person/s, listen actively and make sure to voice your concerns. Involve a third party if needed to keep the peace or meet in a public place so you might be less inclined to raise your voice

What to do about a rocky relationship? Fix 4# Reconnect lovingly with your partner/s Do things together that you both enjoy, share each others’ hobbies and continue to grow and nurture the relationships. Hard times will come in the future but hopefully you will have the tools to deal with them in a healthy manner. Fix 5# Follow up on the state of the relationship. It’s a good idea to take a look at things every couple of months, you may need to revisit some issues you have already discussed. You both need to be making an honest effort. Fix 6# If all else fails, seek outside help! If these suggestions do not help, seek the outside help of a teacher, parent, counselor, priest or anyone in your life you can go to when you need help

For further information, advice and help, visit: Website: www.stressstrainer.com.au Email: support@stressstrainer.com.au Phone: 0410 527 018