Tactical Leadership Tanesha Parker October 10 th, 2010

Table of Contents Interview w/ Brian Oosterman Brian’s VABEs Response Model Analysis Strategies for Influence Tanesha’s Self Assessment Tanesha’s VABEs Life’s Dream Personal Mission Statement Insights from the Course

Interview w/ Brian Oosterman Darden Class of 2010 Member of my learning team Married with a 1 year old son Pre-MBA: Navy Post-MBA: Investment Banking w/ Bank of America

Brian’s VABEs Family first Values linear career progression Successes should be rewarded (awards and compensation) Inner will is necessary to overcome challenges It is important to be striving towards achievement at all times Surround yourself with people who have the traits you want to develop

Response Model Analysis Recognized that I have a tendency to lean on questioning as my primary response method I tend to be more directive in my communication style This could potentially put the speaker on the defensive Tends to shift the conversation back towards me Weakens my ability to influence the other person

Strategies for Influence Utilizing active listening; less questioning and more empathetic/reflective responses Find common ground by understanding his VABEs Use E-Prime language ▫Change my “buts” to “ands” ▫Be descriptive and not judgmental ▫Seek to understand before seeking to be understood Know my own VABEs and be cognizant of how they impact my perspective

Tanesha’s VABEs KeepLoseAcquire Authenticity; I feel its better to be open and honest about who you really are (good and bad) rather than pretending or self-deceiving. You should finish what you start It is important to personally accept responsibility for your actions Individuals define their own truth Yelling is the best way to be heard in conflict situations I’m personally responsible for the choices and mistakes my children make If I believe it to be true, then there is no other possible option for myself or others It’s a valuable use of my time to actively listen to my friends and colleagues People are inherently good

Tanesha’s Self Assessment 100% 50% 0% Outside In Inside Out

Personal Mission Statement My desire is to live a life that illuminates a path by which other women can follow to conquer the K2’s in their own personal and professional lives.

Life’s Dream LDext ▫Faithful wife and mother who can tell her story as an example of success ▫CEO or CFO of a major corporation or a division of a global organization ▫Part-time vocalist, with at least one moderately successful album release (any profit would be success ) ▫Author of at least one book and highly sought after public speaker LDint ▫Needed ▫Loved ▫Empowered ▫Connected ▫Free ▫Peaceful

What do I want to say I still remember 5 year’s from now? Actively listening is an important tool for being an influential leader It is important to consider the level of buy-in you achieve from others by looking beyond their L1 behavior Never stop identifying the VABEs I want to keep, lose, and acquire in life