Self-Management

A Classic Test

Candy table GrabbersWaiters Did not handle stress well, Became more easily irritated Picked fights more often Less able to resist temptation Better capacity to pursue their goals Scored significantly higher on key academic tests Had a more promising future Better able to develop close relationships, Were more dependable Were more responsible Showed better self-control Were less cognitively adept Strikingly less emotionally competent. More likely to be loners Responded to pressure with less flexibility

What is Self-Management? Identifying and understanding my feelings, thoughts and attitudes. Handling my emotions so that they facilitate rather than interfere with the pursuit of my goals and values. Being able to delay gratification to achieve meaningful objectives. Identifying and understanding my feelings, thoughts and attitudes. Handling my emotions so that they facilitate rather than interfere with the pursuit of my goals and values. Being able to delay gratification to achieve meaningful objectives.

EQ Competencies Self-AwarenessSelf- Management Social Awareness Social Skills Emotional Awareness Self-ControlEmpathyCommunication Self-AssessmentTransparencyUnderstanding Others Building Bonds ConfidenceAdaptabilityServingResolving Conflict InitiativeDeveloping Others Influence OptimismOrganizational Awareness Teamwork Leadership Change Agent

1. Self-Control

Mike Tyson’s embarrassing moment

Self-Control The ability to: Resist or delay a drive or temptation to act Be composed in emotionally charged situations Understand what causes aggressive or negative emotions and behavior Tolerate frustration The ability to: Resist or delay a drive or temptation to act Be composed in emotionally charged situations Understand what causes aggressive or negative emotions and behavior Tolerate frustration Resists: Anger Abusiveness Unpredictable or explosive behavior

Self-Control: Discussion Discuss how you would handle one of the following situations: While waiting in line to get on a bus, someone accidentally knocks your bag of groceries on the ground. After being roommates for 7 months, your roommate tells you that she always has thought you are very lazy. A member of the team for your class project fails to do his part of the project that is due in class the next day. Discuss how you would handle one of the following situations: While waiting in line to get on a bus, someone accidentally knocks your bag of groceries on the ground. After being roommates for 7 months, your roommate tells you that she always has thought you are very lazy. A member of the team for your class project fails to do his part of the project that is due in class the next day.

2. Transparency and Integrity Definition: Having the emotional courage (and freedom) to appropriately share your thoughts, feelings and attitudes with others. Living out in your words and actions the truth of your inner feelings, thoughts and values. Definition: Having the emotional courage (and freedom) to appropriately share your thoughts, feelings and attitudes with others. Living out in your words and actions the truth of your inner feelings, thoughts and values.

2. Transparency - Integrity Group Discussion: What does integrity look like? Group Discussion: What does integrity look like? Group Discussion: What does a lack of integrity look like?

Results of Transparency and Integrity Builds trust Creates a sense of inner peace Provides courage to speak out when you see unethical behavior Builds trust Creates a sense of inner peace Provides courage to speak out when you see unethical behavior

3. Adaptability Andre Grove, born in Budapest, chairman of Intel

3. Adaptability The ability to respond to change: By assessing difficult situations By effectively handling the emotional situation so that you can focus on solving problems and conflicts By identifying and implementing effective solutions The ability to respond to change: By assessing difficult situations By effectively handling the emotional situation so that you can focus on solving problems and conflicts By identifying and implementing effective solutions

Adaptability: Self-Reflection Look at the Adaptability Exercise in your notebook. Answer each question with always, usually, sometimes, infrequently, never. Look at the Adaptability Exercise in your notebook. Answer each question with always, usually, sometimes, infrequently, never.

4. Initiative The ability to : Overcome fear and inertia Stand firm for what is right - courage Take the first action step Persevere – to keep on going The ability to : Overcome fear and inertia Stand firm for what is right - courage Take the first action step Persevere – to keep on going

Levi Strauss

5. Optimism The ability to: Look at the positive side of life Maintain hope in the future Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks Seeing setbacks as part of the learning process rather than a personal flaw Not an unrealistic world of denial or empty faith The ability to: Look at the positive side of life Maintain hope in the future Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks Seeing setbacks as part of the learning process rather than a personal flaw Not an unrealistic world of denial or empty faith

Things to Understand to Succeed in Self-Management People only change if they want to Change often requires a “wakeup call” You must first have strong image of your ideal self or where you’re going (purpose) People only change if they want to Change often requires a “wakeup call” You must first have strong image of your ideal self or where you’re going (purpose)

Self management & Classic stories