COHABITATION “Why Buy the Cow, When You Can Get the Milk for Free?”

The Problem Cohabitation violates the institute of marriage by lacking a true commitment. Cohabitation –Living together in a sexual relationship without being married

Background Leading to the Problem  In 1960, of the 52,799,000 households, only 439,000 were unmarried cohabitants as opposed to 104,705,000 households in  In the 2000, there were 4,736,000 unmarried cohabitants in the United States.

Reasons Given for Cohabitation  Economic advantages –“We can save money by sharing living expenses.”  Time together –“We are able to spend more time together.”

Reasons for Cohabitation (cont.)  Increased intimacy –“We have more opportunities to share sexual and emotional intimacy without getting married.”  Less complicated dissolution –“If the relationship doesn’t work out, there is no messy divorce.”

Reasons for Cohabitation (cont.)  “Testing” compatibility –“Living together enables us to better learn about each other’s habits and character and see how we operate together day-to-day.”  Trial marriage –“We are planning to marry soon.”

New Info on Cohabitation  Cohabitation is on the rise for older individuals Reasons: –Avoid loss of financial benefits such as alimony, welfare, or pension checks –Loss of a spouse to death or divorce and fear of losing another spouse –Pain and anger as a result of a divorce

Health Effects of Cohabitation  Increased risk of drug abuse  Higher risk of physical, emotional, and mental abuse  Unstable relationship  Higher overall rates of violence among cohabitors.  Violent relationship can lead to depression, suicide, homicide, or death.

Possible Solutions  Do Not Cohabitate –Have faith in your relationship –Have high self-esteem  Legal Cohabitation Agreement –Entered into by unmarried person who live together –In agreement, the parties can agree with respect to acquisition, disposition of property upon separation, personal rights, obligation of either party, control of property, etc.

Best Solution  Refrain from Cohabitation –Couples living together have the lowest level of premarital satisfaction when compared to other living arrangements. –Married couples that cohabitated prior to marriage have poorer communication skills in discussing problems than couples that did not cohabitate. –Cohabitating couples are less sexually committed and trustworthy.

Summary  Cohabitation rates increased from 500,000 in 1970 to 5.5 million people cohabitating in 2000  60-75% of first marriages preceded by cohabitation  80-85% of re-marriages preceded by cohabitation

Summary  Delay of marriage until median age of 25 for females and 27 for males  Concern over continuing high rates of divorce has led to couples seeking a weaker form of union with less commitment to lifelong marriage

Summary  Several studies show that cohabitating increases the risk of drug use and physical, mental, and emotional abuse.  Overall rates of violence in cohabitating couples were double that of married couples and severe violence was 5 times higher for cohabitors.

Summary  Cohabitating couples have lower levels of personal happiness and higher rates of depression than married couples  Cohabitors have more negative attitudes about marriage than non-cohabitors.

Summary  Do Not Cohabitate –Best solution Marriages preceded by cohabitation are more likely to end in divorce. Cohabitation is generally not a good way to prepare for marriage or to avoid divorce.  Legal Cohabitation Agreement

“The Bottom Line”  Lack of commitment to marriage –A strong commitment is the basis of marriage. –Cohabitating couples are more oriented toward their own personal autonomy. –Cohabitors are more willing to terminate the relationship.  Inability to make a decision about marriage –Cohabitation reflects uncertainty.

The End Result  Continuing to cohabitate will continue to raise the divorce rate for couples who do get married after cohabitation.  Cohabitation increases the chances of having children out of wedlock.  Ending the cohabitation and divorce will result in single parent homes.