How to Get Along with Difficult People It started in Kindergarten! DENR Lunch ‘n Learn Facilitator: Sondra Wilson, Office of State Personnel Oct. 22, 2009

Playing Nice with Others Check it out: All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten Tips from the Pros: ______________________________________

Think about… The People who place nice at DENR How do they behave? Name two behaviors: 1._____________ 2._____________ How do other people respond to them? Name two responses: 1.___________________ 2.___________________

Source: What do you see? What does this tell you about people? __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________

Video Notes Four Characteristics of Difficult People 1.________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ 2.________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ 3.________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ 4.________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________

Pitfalls to Avoid (Fill in the blank) 1.____________ their behavior 2.______________ their behavior (watch it escalate!) 3.Trying to __________________ their personality. 1._____________ and _____________ negative behavior

Communication that’s ___ _____ Both _______ and ____________ Breaking down your own and other’s ________________ Dealing with ______________ Describing ________ behaviors Not _________ or threatening Not __________ down Using _____ and honest statements

Empathetic Responses EXAMPLE: A co-worker says to you, “I thought you were going to back me up in the meeting yesterday. Instead, you agreed with everything the boss said!” What is the FACT: ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________ What is the FEELING: ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________ How would you respond empathetically? ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ __________

Personal Commitment Source: Continue Doing: ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ Start Doing: ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ _________________________ Stop Doing: ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________