www.nobullying.ca

Bullying Prevention & Intervention

Training Agenda Recognizing Bullying Bullying myths and facts Defining and Identifying Bullying Forms of Bullying Gender and Bullying Identifying the children and youth at greatest risk Understanding Aggressive Children & Youth The recipe for violence Protective factors for children and youth Strategies for Responding to/and Preventing Bullying Strategies for intervening with bullies Working with targets of bullies The role of the Police

Bullying Myths and Facts Myth: Bullying is just a stage, a normal part of life. I went through it, my kids will too. Fact: Bullying is not “normal” or socially acceptable behaviour. We give bullies power by our acceptance of this behaviour. Myth: If I tell someone, it will just make it worse. Fact: Research shows that bullying will stop when adults in authority and/or peers get involved.

Bullying Myths and Facts Myth: “Just stand up for yourself and hit them back” Fact: While there are some times that people can be forced to defend themselves, hitting back usually makes the bullying worse and increases the risk for serious bodily harm. Myth: “Bullying is a school problem, the teachers should handle it”. Fact: Bullying is a broader social problem that often occurs outside of school grounds, on the street, at shopping centers, the local pool, summer camp and the workplace.

Bullying Myths and Facts Myth: “People are born bullies”. Fact: Bullying is a learned behaviour and behaviours can be changed.

Recognizing Bullying Signs of Bullying: An imbalance of power The bully intends to harm his or her target There is a threat of further aggression

What is Common in Every Bully? Absolute Contempt for the Victim – he or she isn’t worthy of respect, not even considered human Absolute hatred and disgust.

Forms of Bullying Direct and Indirect Bullying: Physical bullying Verbal Bullying Relational Bullying Gang or group-related bullying Sexual bullying/harassment

Social Aggression Interpersonal damage achieved by non-confrontational and largely concealed methods that employ the social community: Gossiping Social exclusion, isolation and alienation Writing notes about someone Talking about someone behind his/her back Stealing friends/romantic partners Triangulation of friendship Telling secrets/betrayal of trust

Physical Aggression Physical acts that are hostile and anger-charged: Fighting Hitting Pushing Kicking Throwing chairs

What is Cyberbullying? The Internet has created a whole new world of social communication for young people who are using e-mail, Web sites, instant messaging chat rooms and text messaging to stay in touch with friends and make new ones. While most interactions are positive, increasingly kids are using these communication tools to antagonize and intimidate others. This has become known as “Cyberbullying”. The anonymity of online communications means kids feel freer to do things online they would never do in the real world.

What is Cyberbullying? There are several ways that young people bully online. They send e-mails or instant messages containing insults or threats directly to a person. They may spread hateful comments about a person through e-mails, instant messaging or postings on Web sites and online diaries. Young people steal passwords and send out threatening e-mails or instant messages using an assumed identity. Built-in digital cameras are adding a new dimension to the problem with people now able to take embarrassing pictures and forward them through e-mails.

Cyberbullying & The Law Young people should be aware that some forms of online bullying are against the law. Under the Criminal Code of Canada, it is a crime to communicate with someone repeatedly if your communication causes them to fear for their safety or the safety of others. It is also a crime to publish a “defamatory libel” – writing something that is designed to insult a person or likely to injure a person’s reputation by exposing him or her to hatred, contempt or ridicule. A cyberbully may also be violating the Canadian Human Rights Act, if he or she spreads hate or discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, age, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, family status or disability.

Cyberbullying Tips Guard your contact information. Don’t give people you don’t know your cell phone number, instant messaging name or e-mail address or passwords. If you are being harassed online, take the following actions immediately: tell an adult you trust – a teacher, a parent, older sibling or grandparent If you are being harassed, leave the area or stop the activity (i,.e. chat room, news group, online gaming area, instant messaging, etc…) If you are being bullied through e-mail or instant messaging, block the senders messages. Never reply to harassing messages.

Cyberbullying Tips Save any harassing messages and forward them to your Internet Service Provider. Most ISP providers have policies that restrict users from harassing others over the Internet. If the bully includes physical threats, tell the Police as well. Take a stand against cyberbullying with your peers. Speak out whenever you see someone being mean to another person online. Most persons respond better to criticism from their peers than to disapproval from adults.

Identifying the Children at Greatest Risk Is the bullying SEVERE? Is the Bullying FREQUENT? Is the bullying PERVASIVE? Is the bullying CHRONIC?

Creating Violent Individuals RECIPE FOR VIOLENCE: Sense of shame Lack of inhibiting factors No way to offset sense of shame

Tips for the Target of Bullying YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Don’t be afraid to TELL AN ADULT THAT YOU TRUST. Telling is not tattling! If you are afraid to tell your parents, then tell your grandparents, brothers or sisters, or a grown-up you trust. Even if you just want to talk about it, they will listen. THIS WILL END. You will not have to feel this bad forever. AVOID BULLIES AND PLACES WHERE BULLIES ARE. If You know a kid who doesn’t like you, then STAY AWAY from them. Walk to school earlier or later. Walk with friends. Take different paths to school to keep away from the bully.

Tips for the Target of Bullying If the bully won’t stay away from you then STAY CALM AND IGNORE THE BULLY and WALK AWAY. The bully wants you to get mad so don’t. It’s harder for the bully to bully you if you are not there. DON’T BE ALONE in the hallways, restrooms, empty classrooms, or playground. Walk to school earlier or later or walk with brothers, sisters, neighbours, or friends. Take different paths to school to keep away from the bully. HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS. Bullies pick on kids who are alone.

Tips for the Target of Bullying DON’T ACT SCARED – hold your head up, stand up straight, and don’t look at the ground or your feet. Slouching, looking down, and fidgeting show signs that you are not sure of yourself. Hold your head up and stand up straight. Look confident bullies pick on you if they think you are afraid of them. Project confidence. Bullies don’t pick on kids who are confident. Remember, you are NOT alone. LOOK AROUND SCHOOL. You’re probably not the only kid being bullied. Make friends with other kids that are alone. Maybe you can help other kids or they can help you.

Tips for the Target of Bullying THINK OF THINGS TO SAY AHEAD OF TIME. Keep them short and don’t say anything mean (don’t be a bully yourself). STAY WITHIN SIGHT OF TEACHERS ANDS GROWN-UPS when you are at school. If they can see you, then they can help you. DON’T BRING EXPENSIVE STUFF OR LOTS OF MONEY to school. Bullies pick on kids who bring things they can take. Things can be replaced but you can’t.

Tips for the Target of Bullying SIT NEAR THE BUS DRIVER on the school bus. DON’T FIGHT BACK OR GET MAD. It’ll make the bullying worse. Don’t get mad – GET FUNNY. It shows that you’re not scared and humour can sometimes diffuse the situation. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF other kids will notice.

What Should You Tell Others? WHAT happened to you and WHAT YOU DID. WHO BULLIED YOU and WHO SAW it happen. WHERE IT HAPPENED and HOW OFTEN it happened. WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING that happened to you in your diary. Don’t forget to write about things that other kids and grown-ups did for you. GET HELP. Talk to a teacher. It’s their job to stop the bullying. If you are scared, then take a friend along. Tell the teacher when the bully is not around. If you can’t tell them in person, then write them a note.

What Should You Tell Others? SEE YOUR DOCTOR OR SCHOOL NURSE. Ask them to write down any scrapes, bruises or other injuries and show it to a grown-up that you can trust. KEEP A DIARY. Sometimes it helps to remember the good things that happened. “Everyone has the right to be respected and the responsibility to respect others” - Bill Beasley www.bullying.org

An Anti-Bullying Pledge! Let’s have a look at An Anti-Bullying Pledge!

Anti- Bullying Pledge This is for me…. ….my friends today…. And my friends tomorrow…. I think being mean stinks…. I won’t watch someone get picked on Because I am a do something person…. ….Not a do nothing person. I care…. I can help change things…. I can be a leader….

Anti- Bullying Pledge I will stand up. In my world there are no bullies allowed Bullying is bad Bullying bites Bullying bothers me. I know sticking up for someone is the right thing to do I won’t stand by…. I will stand up.

Places That You Can Get Help? www.bullying.org www.cyberbullying.ca www.stopbullyingme.ab.ca www.talk-helps.com www.bullybeware.com www.mcgruff.org www.kidshelp.sympatico.ca www.youcan.ca www.loveisnotabuse.com www.teencentral.net www.nobullying.ca www.bullyboy.ca www.parenthelpline.ca www.mwaves.org www.sos-guelph-wellington.ca

Supporting and Working with the Victim: Being the Right Adult Give the message that he/she is believed and supported through both your words and actions Keep a record of bullying experiences Work with the target to brainstorm, select and act upon solutions. Wherever possible, allow the victim to lead the process of finding solutions Work with the target to develop safety plans for home, school and the community Work to develop support networks for the target

More Tips… Provide meaningful opportunities for the target to experience success and social recognition Teach all children and youth communication and conflict management skills Teach and model effective problem solving skills Help children and youth to develop “allies” who can help at home, school or in the community Give all children and youth the message that they have the right to be treated with dignity and respect

More Tips… Have the Police and other service providers speak to your clients/students about what they can to help stop bullying Make all children and youth aware of the services that exist to provide support in crisis situations (e.g.Kids Helpline 1-800-668-6868) Make sure that your children/youth know that there is safety in numbers and that violence thrives when victims are isolated Teach children and youth to identify bullying

What Can the Police Do? In most cases, bullying is a crime. Police can lay charges and some of those may include: Assault – Section 266 C.C. Sexual Assault – Section 271 C.C. Threatening – Section 264 C.C. Criminal Harassment – Section 264.1 C.C. Theft - Section 334 C.C. Intimidation – Section 423(1) C.C. Extortion – Section 346(1) C.C. Robbery – Section 344 C.C.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has” -- Margaret Mead

What a Safe School should be? A place where you can assure the healthy development of every child so that each has the knowledge, skills and resiliency to be successful in a rapidly changing world.

Questions?

"This project is partially funded through the Government of Canada's National Crime Prevention Strategy." « Ce projet est financé en partie par la Stratégie nationale pour la prévention du crime du gouvernement du Canada »

Community Partners Thistle Chapter IODE - Fergus Fergus Computers Fergus Elora Rotary Vic Kelly & Associates

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