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Same Goals, Different Roles Presented by: Rhoda Trehearne Beginning Teacher Webinar November 2013 Teachers and Parents

What questions are you bringing to the workshop? an angry parent? a parent who is also a colleague? absent or over-involved parents?

Our Goals successful approaches for communicating with parents strategies for parent conferencing effective ways to reframe interactions in challenging situations

What Parents Value Most With permission from Gwen Rudneys Every Teachers Guide to Working with Parents Poll #1: Which of the following two qualities do you think parents consider the most important in their childs teacher? 1.The teacher is a strong instructor with an effective classroom management style. 2. The teacher cares about their child and knows them as an individual.

What Parents Value Most Implications for Teachers: Talk to students. Ask them about their interests, families, hobbies, etc. Phone/ parents to share your observations and successes (document conversations).

What Parents Value Most With permission from Gwen Rudneys Every Teachers Guide to Working with Parents Poll #2: What do you think parents do when they disagree with a teacher? A. Contact the principal. B. Contact the teacher. C. Do nothing.

What Parents Value Most Implications for Teachers: Be aware of each students strengths and share what you see with parents. Be approachable (to students and parents). Provide diverse learning opportunities. Be consistent and fair with assessment and discipline.

Personal Reflection How often do I… 1. make parents feel welcome in the school? 2. call parents with good news? Call when I require more information, or see a problem developing? 3.put myself in the parents shoes when discussing sensitive issues?

Food for Thought… Parents hate surprises. The number one reason why parents get mad at teachers or school administrators boils down to failure to communicate. Elaine K. McEwan (The same is true for most people, including teachers.)

Effective Conferencing

According to Gwen Rudney, parents want to know four things from the teacher. How their children are doing How their childrens performance relates to how they should be doing How the teacher will help How much the teacher appreciates their child E-6

Parent/Teacher Conferences Share a good idea with others:

Parent/Teacher Conferences What teachers should not do: Start or finish with negatives Compare a student with others in the class Offer to do more than you can

Building Relationship Dont make assumptions...By making this one agreement a habit, your whole life will be completely transformed. Dr Don Miguel Ruiz F-2

Difficult Conversations Poll #4: When someone challenges me in front of others, I usually… A. Shut down. B. Become defensive. C. Become aggressive. D. Defer the conversation to another time.

When There is a Concern 1.Thank the parents for coming to talk to you. Let them know you are there to help and that you care. 2.Listen and seek to understand why they are upset. 3.Ask open-ended questions. 4.Focus on the problem, never on the person.

The Importance of Reframing Identifies the underlying need or concern Eliminates blame Identifies common ground Changes negative to positive.

Responses to Tough Questions Ask questions first. Find out concerns. Be calm Give the parent space Avoid becoming personal, focus on the behaviour Use non-confrontational voice tone and language. R Curwin and A Mendler F-4

Helpful Reframing Stems..... Parent: My child is being bullied and you arent doing anything about it. (positional comment) Teacher: (reframe concerns) So you are concerned about So you feel that......because I am hearing, it is important that..... It is clear, you are feeling frustrated because..... (Tell me more. Its important we solve this and correct whats going on.)

Now lets try to reframe a positional comment... POLL #5 My child hates coming to school. My child thinks you are picking on him ( hint use some of the stems you just learned about)

Problem Solving Meeting - Agenda Warm greeting. Let everyone know you care about their child and you are here to help and work together. Clarify problems, concerns. Listen. Paraphrase. Reframe to make sure you are not missing anything. Have some options available for discussion. Everyone has opportunity for input. (especially quiet ones) Acknowledge feelings and let them know their concerns are important. Collaborate on an action plan. Ask: Have I missed anything…..is there anything more we can do? Write it out- who does what and when Discuss what follow-up will happen

Too Conclude This Afternoon Will you please write down one or two things you have learned today that will help you to build and sustain a positive relationship with parents.

Revisiting Our Goals Participants will have an understanding of: successful approaches for communicating with parents strategies for parent conferencing effective ways to reframe interactions in challenging situations

THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN

Thank you for attending! For Further Questions: Barnett House at or (toll free in Alberta) Rhoda Trehearne directly at