Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood: A Cultural Approach Chapter 9 Dating, Love, & Sexuality Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood: A Cultural Approach by Jeffrey Jensen Arnett. Copyright © 2004 by Pearson Education. All rights reserved.

Chapter Overview Sexual activity Cultural standards with regard to sex before marriage Sexual scripts for males and females Sexuality among gay, lesbian, and bisexual adolescents Problems in adolescence (e.g. contraception, pregnancy, abortion, parenthood) Sex education programs

Boys and girls may go out simply as friends. The Art of Dating …. Teens now are more likely to go out in mixed-gender groups without any specific pairing up. Boys and girls may go out simply as friends. Prior to the women’s movement, dating was much more formalized and gender roles were much more sharply drawn in the West.

Developmental Patterns in Dating The American Experience Most adolescent girls begin dating around age 12 or 13 Most adolescent boys begin dating around 13 or 14 By age 15 about 20% of adolescents say they have “gone with” someone Dating before among American adolescents tends to follow a developmental sequence of four steps: Adolescents in same-gender groups go to places where they hope to find other-gender groups Adolescents take part in social gatherings arranged by adults, such as parties Mixed-gender groups arrange to go to some particular event together, such as a movie Adolescent couples begin to date as pairs in activities such as movies, dinners, concerts and so on

Why adolescents date Recreation Learning Status Companionship Intimacy Fun and enjoyment Learning Becoming more skilled at dating interactions Status Impressing others according to how often one dates and whom one dates Companionship Sharing pleasurable activities with another person Intimacy Establishing a close emotional relationship with another person Courtship Seeking someone to have as a steady partner

Constructing Ideas: Dating in Emerging Adulthood Dating tends to change as adolescents enter emerging adulthood. What quality to emerging adults look for in the people they date? (remember to differentiate between males and females) From your experience, recall differences between your dates as and adolescent and emerging adult

Dating Scripts Proactive Script Reactive Script Males tend to follow this type of script Includes: initiating the date deciding where they will go controlling the public domain (driving the car) initiating sexual contact Reactive Script Females tend to follow this type of script Focuses on: Private domain (grooming & dress) Responding to the male’s gestures in the public domain Responding to his sexual initiatives

Sternberg’s Theory of Love Different types of love involve combining three fundamental qualities of love in different ways These three qualities are: Passion Involves physical attraction and sexual desire Intimacy Feelings of closeness and emotional attachment Commitment The pledge to love someone over the long run, through the ups and downs that are often part of love

Sternberg’s 7 Forms of Love Passion Intimacy Commitment Liking No Yes Infatuation Empty Love Romantic Love Companionate Love Fatuous Consummate Love

Applying Sternberg to Adolescence In most adolescent love relationships, commitment is either missing or highly tentative The absence of long term commitment in adolescence means that there are two principal types of adolescent love: infatuation and romantic love Keep in Mind ….. In industrialized countries people are not likely to get married until they are in at least their mid- to late twenties Under these circumstances it is understandable that adolescents’ love relationship would not involve commitment as much as passion or intimacy

Adolescent Passion in Non-Western Culture Of 186 traditional cultures representing 6 distinct geographical regions around the worlds – it was found that there was evidence that young people fell passionately in love in all but one of the cultures However …. This does not mean that young people in all cultures are allowed to act on their feelings of love On the contrary … romantic love as a basis for marriage is a fairly new cultural idea

Falling in Love Consensual validation People like to find in others an agreement, or consensus, with their own characteristics Finding this consensus supports, or validates, their own way of looking at the world People of all ages tend to have romantic relationships with people who are similar to them in characteristics such as: Intelligence Social class Ethnic background Religious beliefs Physical attractiveness

Attachment Styles Attachment styles between lovers have been found to resemble the parent-child attachment styles Secure Characterized by emotional support and concern for the partner’s well-being Anxious-ambivalent Characterized by overdependence on the romantic partner along with insensitivity to the partner’s needs Anxious-avoidant Involve keeping emotional distance from the romantic partner and inhibiting self-disclosure

Brown’s Model of Adolescent Love Bradford Brown (1999) has proposed a developmental model of adolescent love that recognizes the important role played by peers and friends Brown’s model contains four phases: Initiation phase First tentative explorations of love which are usually superficial, brief and often fraught with anxiety, fear, and excitement Status phase Begin to gain confidence in their interaction skills with potential romantic partners Adolescents remain acutely aware of the evaluations of their friends and peers Affection phase Adolescents come to know each other better and express deeper feelings for each other Being to engage in more extensive sexual activity Bonding phase The romantic relationship becomes more enduring and serious – partners begin to discuss the possibility of a lifelong commitment This phase usually occurs in emerging adulthood rather than adolescence

When Love Goes Bad How can adolescent egocentrism and the personal fable contribute to feelings of breaking up?

Breaking Up – Understanding Emerging Adults Based on a study of 200 college couples for 2 years (Hill, Rubin, & Peplau, 1979) 45% of the couples had broken up Those who had broken up reported lower levels of intimacy and love were less likely to be similar on characteristics such as age, SAT scores and physical attractiveness were less balanced (one partner indicated substantially more commitment to the relationship than the other) Women were more likely to end the relationship Rejected men tended to be lonelier, unhappier and more depressed than rejected women Rejected men found it harder than rejected women to accept the end of the relationship and to stay friends

Choosing a Marriage Partner The Study: 10,000 young people in 37 countries from all over the world (Africa, Asia, Eastern and Western Europe, & North and South America) The Findings: Highest Ranking Mutual attraction High Rankings: Dependable character Emotional stability & Maturity Pleasing disposition Lowest Ranking: Religious & political backgrounds Low Rankings: Good financial prospects Having a lot of money The sharpest cross-cultural division was on the issue of chastity

Arranged Marriages Although romantic love is found in all cultures, it is not considered the proper basis of marriage in all cultures Marriage has more often been seen as an alliance between two families rather than as the uniting of two individuals The most important considerations in an arranged marriage is the other family’s status, religion and wealth Globalization is having an effect on how young people are beginning to value individual chose and the pursuit of happiness Today in most Eastern cultures the “semi arranged marriage” is the most common practice

Cohabitation In the U.S. as well as Northern Europe cohabitation before marriage is now experienced by at least two thirds of emerging adults The percentage is highest in Sweden where nearly all young people cohabitate before marriage In the U.S. cohabitation tends to be brief and unstable In contrast, cohabitating couples in European countries tend to stay together as long as married couples

Adolescent Sexual Activity Males Females Masturbation Majority of boys begin about age 13 90% by age 19 33% of females reported masturbating by age 13 60% to 75% by age 20 Necking and Petting 60% of 13 year olds had kissed at least once 20% reported touching a girl’s breast By age 18, 77% reported penile touching 73% of 13 year olds had kissed at least once 35% reported having their breast touched By age 18, 60% reported vaginal touching Sexual Intercourse and Oral Sex Before 1965, 25% of boys reported having intercourse After 1965, 54% of boys reported having intercourse Before 1965, 10% of girls reported having intercourse After 1965, 52% of girls reported having intercourse

Ethnic Differences The proportion of high school students in grades 9-12 who had intercourse is: Lowest for White adolescents (49%) Somewhat higher for Latino adolescents (58%) Highest for African American adolescents (73%) Research has indicated that Asian Americans are considerably less likely to engage in sexual activity in adolescence compared with any other major American ethnic group

Cultural Beliefs and Adolescent Sexuality Restrictive cultures: Place strong prohibitions on adolescent sexual activity before marriage Strict separation of boys and girls in early childhood through adolescence Some countries will even include the threat of physical punishment and public shaming for premarital sex Usually more restrictive for girls than boys Semi-restrictive cultures: Have prohibitions but they are not strongly enforced and are easily evaded If pregnancy results from premarital sex, the adolescents are often forced to marry Permissive cultures: Encourage and expect adolescent sexuality Sexual behavior is encouraged even in childhood and the sexuality of adolescence is simply a continuation of the sex play in childhood

Sexual Scripts Different cognitive frameworks for understanding how a sexual experience is supposed to proceed and how sexual experiences are to be interpreted Examples: Boys are expected to “make the moves” Girls set the limits on how far the sexual episode is allowed to progress

Sexually Active Adolescents Characteristics of non-virgins Similar self-esteem as virgins Similar overall life satisfaction as virgins More likely to be early maturing Tend to have lower levels of academic performance and academic aspirations Adolescents who have sex early (15 years old or younger) Early users of drugs and alcohol More likely to be from single parent households More likely to have grown up in poverty

Sexual Harassment Includes a wide range of behaviours from mild harassment such as name calling, joke and leering looks to severe harassment involving unwanted touching or sexual contact It is estimated that over half of American women will experience sexual harassment at some time during their professional live Date Rape is one form of sexual harassment that takes place when a persons, usually a woman, is forced by a romantic partner, date, or acquaintance to have sexual relations against her will 15% of adolescent girls and 25% of emerging adult women have experienced date rape Alcohol plays a big part in date rape on college campuses

Sexual Harassment Percentage of male and female students having ever experienced various forms of sexual harassment

Sexual Harassment

Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Adolescents The degree of confusion and anxiety is often multiplied They are exposed almost entirely to heterosexual models of dating, love and sex The “presumption of heterosexuality” is part of their socialization from parents, friends, school and media It is important to note: Distinguishing between having homosexual experiences and having a sexual orientation is important. A high percentage of adolescents and emerging adults (predominantly males) report some kind of sex play but only about 2% of adolescents become adults with a primarily homosexual orientation.

Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Adolescents It is during adolescence that most gay, lesbian and bisexual (GLB) people become fully aware of their sexual orientation Coming out beginning at an average age of 14 for gay males and a year or two later for lesbians Involves a person’s recognizing his or her own sexual identity and then disclosing the truth to friends, family and others Homophobia Fear and hatred of homosexuals Because of this phenomenon, coming to the realization of a GLB identity can be traumatic for many adolescents

Contraceptive Use and Nonuse Two types of countries have low rates of teenage pregnancy: Those that are permissive about adolescent sex Those that adamantly forbid adolescent sex Restrictive Countries Japan South Korea Morocco Adolescents are strongly discouraged from even dating It is rare for boys and girls to spend time alone together Permissive Countries Denmark Sweden Netherlands They have explicit safe sex campaigns. Adolescents have easy access to contraception

Birth, Abortion, and Pregnancy Notice how high the pregnancy rate is in the U.S. Compare this to Canada where sexual activity rates are the same but the pregnancy rate is about half

Facts about the “Facts of Life” About 40% of pregnancies to American adolescents end in abortion 14% of adolescents miscarry Of the children who are born, only about 5% are put up for adoption …. That means about 50% of adolescents raise their own children (sometimes with the help of the father but most often with the help of the adolescent mother’s own mother)

Teen Birth Rates In recent years, birth rates have become highest of all among Latina adolescents Black teens are twice as likely as White teens to get pregnant

What about Mom? Twice as likely to drop out of school Less likely to go to college or become employed Less likely to get married More likely to get divorced if they get married Do they catch up? (a sample of 300 mothers) Five years after given birth teenage mothers still lagged behind their peers in educational, occupational and economic progress After 18 years 25% were still on welfare 25% had succeeded in making it into the middle class A majority had eventually completed high school 33% had completed at least some college education

What about Dad? Being a teenage dad is related to a variety of negative outcomes More likely to become divorced Lower level of education Lower paying job More prone to drug and alcohol use More likely to violate the law More feelings of anxiety and depression Interesting Footnote: Like adolescent mothers, the problems of adolescent fathers often began prior to parenthood

What about Baby? Children born to adolescent mothers face a higher likelihood of a variety of difficulties in life Babies are more likely to be born premature Lower birth rate Premature and low birth rate are related to a variety of physical and intellectual problems Greater likelihood of behavioral problems School misbehaviour, delinquency and early sexual activity It is important to note: These problems are not just due to having an adolescent mother but also due to the fact that most adolescent mothers are not only young and unmarried but poor as well

Sexually Transmitted Diseases By age 24, one in three sexually active Americans have contracted an STD Two thirds of all STDs occur in people who are under 25 years old Two important characteristics of STDs Asymptomatic People show no symptoms of the disease They are especially likely to infect others because neither they nor others realize that they are infected Latency Period There may be years between the time people are infected and the time they being to show symptoms During this time they may be infecting others without either themselves or their partners being aware of it

Sexually Transmitted Diseases Chlamydia Most common STD Highest rates among 15 to 19 year olds Leading cause of female infertility Gonorrhoea Caused by bacteria that thrive in the moist mucous membranes of the body Very easily passed along during sex Females are at least twice as likely as males to become infected Herpes Simplex Caused by a virus Has two variations: herpes simplex I and herpes simplex II Highly infectious (75% of persons exposed to an infected partner will become infected) There is no cure for herpes

Sexually transmitted diseases HIV/AIDS Strips the body of its ability to fend off infections The body is highly vulnerable to a wide variety of illnesses and diseases 90% of cases of HIV in the U.s. result from intercourse between homosexual or bisexual partners Outside the U.S. HIV/AIDS is spread mainly between heterosexual partners Has a long latency period (tend to by asymptomatic up to 5 years) AIDS is the leading cause of death worldwide among persons 25 to 44 years old 10 of every 11 new HIV infections worldwide come from Africa The mortality rate for people who have AIDS remains extremely high

Sex Education Americans agree that rates of premarital pregnancy and STDs in adolescence are serious problems that must be reduced However there is vehement disagreement about what is the best solution One side: comprehensive sexuality education Other side: abstinence promotion

Sex Education 10 characteristics that make programs work Focus narrowly on reducing one or more sexual behaviors Base the program on theoretical approaches for other risky behaviours Give a clear message about sexual activity and contraceptive use Provide basic, accurate information about risks and methods Include activities that teach how to deal with social pressures Model and provide practice in negotiation and refusal skills Use a variety of teaching methods Incorporate behavioral goals specific to age, culture and sexual experience Run the program over a sufficient period of time Train teacher, youth workers and peer leaders who believe in the program