Is it Love or Infatuation?

Is it Love or Infatuation? Happens all at once and ends as quickly as it began Jealous, mistrusting and uncertain In a hurry- can't wait to get to the next level because of fear of loss Sex-centered to keep relationship together Grows slowly over time Trust and security with relationship Waits for the right time Cares for all of you, not just your body

Is it Love or Infatuation? Leads you to do things you know are wrong Other relationships with family and friends suffer Emotional roller coaster Needs a mirror, worried about appearance You do the right thing Enhances other relationships Steady and unshaken Honest, able to be yourself

Is it Love or Infatuation? Feel trapped, missing out on other people and things Covers what doesn't fit (denial) Freedom, feel free and alive Never expects you to compromise your values

Jesus and Love What is the most important choice in a Christian's life? When we decide to love; we must choose love as a focus in our life. What did Jesus say were the greatest commandments? To love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself.

Jesus and Love What is self-love? Why do people have a hard time loving themselves? It is self-acceptance, the discovery and valuing the qualities we possess. People have a hard time loving themselves when it comes to false messages constituted by our culture about what is worthy such as personal income or success in school or physical appearance. Briefly describe two pitfalls of romantic love. Infatuation - an emotional whirlwind that hinders clear judgment. It provides roots too shallow for love to grow from, and it is a thrill that two people cannot truly discover what they feel for each other.

Jesus and Love What is Idolizing? Seeing the other person as perfect, wonderful or the answer to all prayers. Failing to acknowledge faults in another person is as unfair as overlooking their good qualities. In what Gospel story does Jesus identify himself with the poor and the weak? What does he say about how we treat the poor and the weak? In Matthew, he says that we overlook the poor and that we only take care of the people that matter to us. He says that we should all be like God and take care of the people that need help the most and care for our sisters and brothers as we would care for Christ Himself.

Jesus and Love Describe the parallel between developing a friendship and loving God. When we develop a friendship, we are fostering the good in other creation as we see the wonder of God to create unique individuals. As our friendships grow, we see God in them and we learn to love God who is the creator of all. We cannot love God without loving a friend because God is in every one of us.

Jesus and Love What is the definition of sin? What is the difference between sins of commission and sins of omission? To sin is to turn away from God, who loves us. Sins of commission are actively doing something to harm ourselves or others. Sins of omission are a failure to act for the good of others and thereby causing harm towards them.

Is it Love or Infatuation? How do we “know” if it is “love” or “infatuation”?

TEST # 1 TIME Love grows, and all growth requires time. Infatuation may come suddenly. 

TEST #2 KNOWLEDGE Love grows out of an appraisal of all the known characteristics of the other person. Infatuation may arise from an acquaintance with only a few or only one of these characteristics.

TEST #3 FOCUS Love is other-person-centered. It is outgoing. It results in sharing. Infatuation is self-centered. It is self-fulfilling; when it stops “giving” , one gets angry or depressed

TEST #4 SINGULARITY Genuine romantic love desires to be centered on the one person only. An infatuated individual may easily be in love with two or more persons at the same time.

TEST #5 SECURITY An individual in love tends to have a sense of security and the feeling of trust while getting to know the person. An infatuated individual tends to have a blind sense of security, based upon wishful thinking, or he may have a sense of insecurity that is sometimes expressed as jealousy.

TEST #6 PROBLEM SOLVING A couple in love faces problems openly and works together to solve them. In infatuation, problems tend to be denied, disregarded or consciously ignored.

TEST #7 PHYSICAL ATTRACTION and INVOLVEMENT Physical attraction is a relatively smaller part of their total relationship when a couple is in love. Love is expressive of what and how they feel toward each other. In infatuation, physical contact tends to be an end in itself. The pleasurable experience confuses real caring with intimacy.

TEST #8 STABILITY Love endures. Infatuation frequently changes suddenly, unpredictably.

Building Blocks of Love Initial attraction to him/her Being excited to see and be with her Feeling at ease with each other Becoming friends - first Sharing joys, happy experiences Respecting their values and integrity Understanding and respecting their feelings

Building Blocks of Love Recognizing and appreciating things they do for others (and you) Taking pride in their accomplishments Being concerned for their happiness Being concerned for their safety Showing admiration for their talents/ personality Hoping and planning for a future together LOVE

3 Components of Relationships Intimacy – being close to someone & sharing very personal ‘things’ Feelings, ideas, stories, hopes, desires, etc. Passion – (from Latin to suffer) strong emotional feelings that move you to express things verbally & physically Strong enthusiasm, desire, emotional, compelling action Commitment – pledging yourself to another person; promising to be true & faithful; willingness to say “no” to that which hurts the other An obligation, devotion, loyalty to another