happiness springs of itself.” Building Strong Families Journal “In a united family, happiness springs of itself.” Chinese Proverb Is your family united? How can you help unite and strengthen your family?

Thoughts Stack every bit of criticism between two layers of praise. It is more important to get in the first thought than the last word.

The Family Families form a system of interacting elements Parents and children influence one another Parents influence their children both directly and indirectly Children influence their parents Children’s behaviors, attitudes, and interests affect how their parents behave toward them

Functions of the Family Primary Support System Meeting Emotional Needs Values and Religious Beliefs Culture and Traditions

Functions of the Family Instilling values and religious beliefs Values – beliefs and feelings about what is important.

Do families have an affect on one another? In the systems view, families, parents and children influence each other and parent-child relations are influenced by other individuals and institutions

Neighborhood Work Extended Family Religious Organizations Family School Extended Family Children Religious Organizations

What are the Secrets of a Strong Family?

Students make a list of qualities of a Strong/Healthy Family?

Traits of a Healthy Family Relationship Trust Commitment Affirmation Love Time Solving Problems Communication Respect

Traits of a Healthy Family Relationship Affirmation – adding positive input that helps others feel appreciated and supported. Trust – high levels of trust include keeping promises and being honest for both parents and children. Commitment – family members are willing to work together and make sacrifices so it will benefit the whole family.

Traits of a Healthy Family Relationship Time Together – a strong healthy family relationship is not feasible without spending time together. Communication – effective communication means listening to the viewpoint of others as well as being heard.

Traits of a Healthy Family Relationship Respect – this includes acceptance of individual tastes, talents and opinions. Solving Problems – identifying problems before they become too serious and asking for outside help. Love – healthy families give and receive love to one another, physically and verbally.

Commitment Make your family come first. They go with each other when one of them has an activity. An investment of time, energy, spirit, and heart. We should also tell them about our day – then we are sharing. Commitment = How you spend your time and money. Beware of the demands of outside interests – remember your first job is ----- the family. The commitment is in writing – a mission statement. Decide what you want to stand for. Start with one sentence. Mission statements change as the family changes.

Time Together Instead of giving in to the complaint that there just isn’t enough time, make time. Quality time is a function (better than) of quantity time. Peak experiences Vacations Camping Continuous experiences Eating together Chores Doing homework The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship.

Feeling worthwhile and valuable is one of the most basic human needs. Appreciation Frequently, short Appreciative of invisible work Deuche’s Law – Behavior is Contagious Don’t give up too quickly, it takes 4 weeks. Feeling worthwhile and valuable is one of the most basic human needs.

Communication Good Communication helps create: A sense of belonging in a family Increases understanding Empathy between its members.

Communication The goal of communication is by far more important than the techniques. If my goal is to win….bad If my goal is to understand or help….good As we communicate, we need to be aware of our goals. If it is a good goal, our communication will go well. Techniques are good, but tend to be mechanical. Say it in your own language.

Everyone in the family takes responsibility for own mistakes. Decision Making and Responsibilitiy Healthy families, including children, cooperate with each other in making decisions. Everyone in the family takes responsibility for own mistakes.

Creative Problem Solving Strong families can solve problems in creative ways. Happy families have the same number of arguments, but they have spaces filled with happy times. It is ok to have problems, but the key is to solve them quickly. The longer you are in an argument, the harder it is to get out. Why? Confidences in their ability to meet problems and solve them.

Values and Spiritual Wellness Healthy families have a strong moral base in values and spiritual beliefs. Share goals and ideas about what is important.

Affection Small touches (non-sexual) Love Currency – understanding what it is for the other person and learn to give it. Make you Love Currency explicit. Gender differences and love currency.

Questionnaire: Make a list of areas where your family may need help.

Make a list of 10 activities you can do with your family to build your family strength.

Relationships Activity Strengthen Family Relationships Activity Select two (third extra credit) of the seven strategies of strengthens families’ relationships. Implement this strategy. Explain what you are planning to do. Do It. Then explain what you actually did do. Evaluate the strategy. Did the strategy strengthen your family? How? How can you see this activity building unity in your family in the future?

Whether you have grown up in a strong family or not, it is possible to have a strong and healthy family of your own. If your present family is a good model to follow, transfer those strengths to your new family. If not, rather than blame others, yourself, or circumstances, take responsibility for making your future family the kind of family that nurtures and loves its members. If doesn’t just happen by accident.. It takes effort and determination; but it’s worth it. Investing in your family is the best investment in the future you can make.

Summary: Despite the media attention focused on the down side of family life, families are considered the foundation of our nation. We have a great many families that consider their family’s health strong and growing. To be a strong nation we must build strong families. This takes know how, determination, desire, and hard work. So start working to build your family’s strength.