Helping Children Behave Dealing with behavior is the one of the most common issues with babysitting

Most common reasons children misbehave Copying the behavior they have seen or have gotten attention from before Feeling jealous or competition toward a sibling Testing limits Asserting independence Tired, frustrated, hungry or scared In need of attention Bored

Encouraging Positive Behavior Let the children know when they are behaving well Set rules, boundaries, and limitations when you first arrive on the job. Create a schedule in advance Follow household routines as much as possible Keep off-limit items out of sight Be fair- no favorites! Try to keep things fun

Correct the behavior w/o criticizing the child When a child misbehaves you want the child to know you dislike the behavior rather than the child When a child misbehave you have 3 choices: Do nothing Say something Do something Each of these work well in different situations

Do Nothing Ignore the child’s misbehavior if it is safe to do so This works well when the child is misbehaving to get your attention

Saying Something Tell the child what to do or what not to do This will work for most common babysitter problems Stay calm and use a neutral tone even if child is screaming Explain why the behavior is unacceptable Offer an alternative activity if they cannot do the one they want Use “when…then” statements

Physically doing something You take physical action to stop misbehavior Physically stop the behavior from occurring if it is a physical threat to the child or others Stop child from hitting and tell them to use their words to talk Change location If baby keeps going toward the flat screen TV, change rooms NEVER HIT, SPANK, SLIP, OR MAKE FUN OF A CHILD

Consequences Used effectively can teach a child to follow rules Consequences should follow this order: Natural- Happen as part of activity For example: stuffed bear in the rain Logical- relate to the action For example: rebuild siblings blocks if you knock them down Withholding privileges- works for child preschool age and up What is an example? Time-Out- what is this? What would be an example of this?

Behavior Challenges: Temper Tantrums This is a challenging behavior used by children to get their way Common for toddlers and preschooler and usually involve: Whining Crying Screaming Kicking Hitting Breath-holding Tantrums result b/c children lack communication skills and get frustrated

Prevent temper tantrums by: Being flexible Giving children attention Offering choices when possible Distracting children if a tantrum seems to be coming on Keeping off-limit items out of sight Keeping your cool, children will learn by your example

Crying Common for infants- this is their form of communication Infants for cry for 1-5 hrs. a day Check to see if hungry, tired, too hot or cold, or due to need of a diaper change When all else fails- cuddle and rock the baby For children above preschooler talk through the situation to assess the problem then work out a solution

Biting, Hitting, and Kicking Common for toddlers and younger preschoolers At this age they have trouble expressing feelings and may not be aware this action can hurt others If a child bites, hits, or kicks— Encourage the child to explain the problem in words Explain appropriate behavior Ask questions to get the child to think of the victim’s perspective (Have you ever been bitten?) Comfort the child who was bitten before dealing with the one who bit them Do not bite the child back- Why do you think this?

Sibling Rivalry What is sibling rivalry?

Sibling Rivalry Jealously, completion, or independence usually fuel sibling rivalries If you try to solve problem, solve the issue WITH the siblings and not FOR them Separate kids until they calm Don’t yell or lecture Don’t focus on placing blame Encourage win-win negotiations What is this?

Prevent fights by: Not picking favorites Plan fun activities for everyone Never compare children Have fun together Find time for one-on-one attention for each child

FIND Decision- Making Model Weigh options Not intended for emergency situations

The Case of the Babysitter and the Bouncing Boys FIND Decision Making Your Answers Figure out the Problem Identify possible solutions Name the pros and cons for each solution Decide which solution is best, then act on it