Communication Climate “The social tone of a relationship.” “The overall feeling, or emotional mood, of a relationship.”

Disconfirming Confirming Disagreeing Communication climates are constructed by the types of messages given and received: Disconfirming Confirming Disagreeing

Confirming Messages: Recognition – responding to others (e.g., eye-contact, returning calls/e-mails, etc.) Acknowledgment – showing your interest in others/attending to them (e.g., listening, paraphrasing, etc.) Endorsement – showing agreement (in whole or in part) with the other person (e.g., praising, nodding, stating your agreement, etc.)

Disagreeing Messages: Argumentativeness – presenting/defending your position, while arguing against others’ positions Complaining – expressing dissatisfaction with others Aggressiveness – actively demeaning the worth of others (e.g., name-calling, insults, sarcasm, etc.)

Disconfirming Messages: Impervious Response (i.e., not responding) Interrupting Response (i.e., interrupting) Irrelevant Response (e.g., unrelated comments) Tangential Response (i.e., steering the conversation in a different direction) Impersonal Response (abstract, intellectual) Ambiguous Response (abstract & confusing) Incongruous Response (contradicts itself)

Disagreeing and/or Disconfirming Messages May Lead to Defensive Responses We tend to get defensive when we perceive ourselves as under attack. Do we want to attack back, or could we soothe our wounds and work to create an attacking-free climate? We can help others not respond defensively by helping them to “save face.”

Creating Positive Climates: Defense-Arousing & Supportive Communication

Description Problem-Orientation Spontaneity Empathy Equality Confirming Disconfirming Supportive Defense-arousing Description Problem-Orientation Spontaneity Empathy Equality Provisionalism Evaluation Control Strategy Neutrality Superiority Certainty

How to Respond When You’re Feeling Defensive…

Ask for more information: Ask for specifics Guess about specifics Paraphrase the other person’s ideas Ask what the critic wants Ask about the consequences of your behavior Ask what else is wrong

Agree with the criticisms: Agree with the truth Agree in principle Agree with the other person’s perception