Conflict Management

What is Conflict? Any clash of ideas or interests A fight or disagreement

What Causes Conflict? Feeling threatened Lack of respect Resources (wanting something you can’t have) Values and expectations Emotions (hurt feelings or anger)

Recognizing the Signs of Conflict Disagreement: the first and surest sign of conflict. Emotions: frustration, confusion, resentment, anger… Others’ behavior

Communicating During Conflict Many people manage conflict differently Avoiding Solving Becoming angry However you are familiar with handling conflict or seeing conflict handled is usually what you will do.

Attitudes about Conflict Consequences of Response The conflict Cycle Conflict Attitudes about Conflict Response to Conflict Consequences of Response

Communicating During Conflict Express yourself: Stay calm! Make sure the other person sees your side use “I” messages Choose your words: Speak openly and honestly Explain how you feel Do not use abusive or threatening language No demands or threats No insults! Body language: Calm Facial expressions Don’t overpower Listening: Use active listening!

Conflict at School--Teasing Teasing is NOT ok or harmless. Someone is being affected by it every time you tease. If you are being teased there are a few things you can do: (TRY TO) Ignore it—teasing is often about getting attention. If you ignore it they may lose interest. Make a joke—if you make a joke you are showing that it doesn’t bother you. Confront the teaser—let them know how you feel. They may have not understood it was affecting you.

Conflict at School--Bullying Bullying is scaring or controlling another person by using threats or physical force. There are many different types of bullying: physical, verbal, intimidation, cyber- bullying, emotional… Some ways to deal with bullying: Ignore the bully Talk to the bully Stand up to the bully REPORT THE BULLY!

Conflicts at School--Teachers Teachers—There could be conflicts with teachers?! (grades, unfair, strict, disrespectful, etc…) Talk to the teacher: Pick the right time and place Stay calm Focus on solving the problem—don’t blame If that doesn’t work talk to another teacher, principal or parent about the issue.

Conflict at Home Parents: Rules, responsibilities, expectations, difference of opinion They have your best interests in mind Usually following their advice is best. Make sure to communicate effectively! Siblings: Sharing possessions and space, jealousy, age differences, sibling rivalry (competition) Communicate!

Avoiding Conflicts or Dangerous Situations Recognize the signs: Anger, losing control Tone of voice Body language 2. Calm things down: Be respectful “I” messages Take a deep breath and try to stay calm 3. Leave the situation: Let things cool down 4. Offer alternatives

Resolving Conflict Negotiation: the act of discussing the issue of the conflict to reach an agreement. Requires both people to describe their feelings and needs. Must understand and respect the other. Takes time and practice. Usually ensures that both parties get at least some of what they want out of the conflict. Compromise: a solution to a conflict in which each side gives up something to reach an agreement. We must all learn because we will need this in our lives. Takes time and practice!

Resolving Conflict Collaboration: a solution to a conflict in which both sides work together to get what they want. When possible, it is better than compromise. Allows both to walk away feeling like they got what they wanted. Example: you and your friend are arguing about what movie to watch. Compromise: you let your friend pick, but you get to pick next time. Collaboration: you pick one you both want to watch.

Resolving Conflict Mediation: a process in which another person, called a mediator, listens to both sides of the conflict and offers solutions Mediators must: Be trained and practiced Be objective Be understanding Able to control situations—can get the discussion back on track. Peer Mediation: when the mediator is someone of similar age. May understand better Might be easier to access Same requirements needed.