Ocianna Valenzuela College abusive relationships Ocianna Valenzuela College abusive relationships. intro to women’s studies.

Cycle of abuse The cycle of abuse had four phases. Phase one- tension builds: there is lack of communication in the relationship, and the victim starts to feel more fearful. Phase two- the incident: this is where the emotional, physical, and blaming abuse starts to happen. Phase three-the reconciliation: this is where the abuser apologizes, and acts like nothing ever happened. Phase four-the calm: this is what is known as the “honeymoon phase” no abuse happens during this time; until the cycle repeats itself.

Dating abuse statistics In the United States alone 43% of women (college age) have claimed that they have been in an abusive relationship. 52% of women claim to know at least one person who has been in an abusive relationship. One out of five women once again college age have claimed to be beaten, harmed, or even raped by a boyfriend or an ex. Around 80% parents aren’t aware of their children being in an abusive relationship or harmed.

Red flags for spotting an abusive partner If they put you, your family, or your friends down. If they try to tell you what you can and can’t do. (control) Try to force you to be sexual when you don’t want to be. If they tell you how you have to dress and act once again an act of control. If they tell you they would harm themselves if you would ever break up with them. If they blame you for all of their problems. these are only some of the red flags.

Tips to escape an abusive relationship. “Acknowledge the existence of abuse” Try to realize that you are in an abusive relationship before you end up physically harmed; try to stop the emotional or mental abuse before it is to late, look for the “red flags.” “Reach out for help” Try to find someone other then your friends or family, they could harm themselves just by helping you; they tend to put things into their own hands. Contact a local organization such as a hotline, they will have safe shelters for you to stay at until everything is safe again. “Use a safe computer” Make sure you are on a computer that the abuser can’t easily accesses the history of your web searches. “ Make every effort to address the underlying issues that led you to being in a dysfunctional relationship” Did you grow up in a house hold where this was ok so its normal to you? Do you feel that you don’t deserve better do to what you have been told by others? “Get to the bottom of things” Do you feel that you have to be in a relationship no matter how terrible it may be, because you are addicted to the feeling of love? Do you relate love with pain?

Places that can help If you ever feel that you are in an abusive relationship call the National Domestic Violence Hotline *note these are real numbers please don’t call them as a prank* 1-800-799-(safe), 1-800-787-3224, or 1-866-331- 9474 You can also talk to people online at www.loveisnotabuse.com/web/guest/curriculum

Work cites http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/warning-signs-of- abuse/ http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/women/dv-cycle-of-abuse- women.php http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/5-tips-escape- abusive-relationship http://youngadults.about.com/od/healthandsafety/qt/Dating- Abuse-Statistics.htm http://www.theredflagcampaign.org/index.php/dating- violence/red-flags-for-abusive-relationships/ http://www.loveisrespect.org/43-percent-of-college-women- experience-violence-and-abusive-dating-behaviors