University of Central Lancashire & University of Bolton “Brother and Sisterly Love”: Exploring the distinction between play and real fighting amongst siblings Natalie Harrison, Dr. Cath Sullivan, Dr. Nicola Graham-Kevan & Dr. Michelle Lowe University of Central Lancashire & University of Bolton

What is sibling aggression? No consistent definition used throughout the literature Can include: Pushing Hitting Kicking Using weapons to non accidentally cause harm (Caffaro & Conn-Caffaro, 2006)

Play fighting This is seen to be a normal part of development in children, different to genuine fighting Children develop cognitive and positive social skills (DiCarlo et al., 2015). When the same behaviours occur between partners and children, they are viewed to be abusive (Reese-Weber, 2008)

Play fighting VS sibling aggression Running Shoves Chasing Kicks Wrestling Punches Enjoyment Upset Laughing Crying Frowning

The normalisation of sibling aggression Real fighting between siblings is often normalised in society (Finkelhor et al., 2006). It is not only accepted but expected from siblings (Skinner & Kowalski, 2013). The ambiguity surrounding the terms used to describe the behaviours adds to this normalisation (Phillips et al., 2009).

Parents They may normalise the behaviours by the way that they intervene. Children look to their parents as role models of prosocial behaviour (Husemann, 1988) Parents often intervene more in support of younger siblings (Perlman et al., 2007). When they are close to each other in age, the behaviours are normalised more (Tucker & Kazura, 2011).

Research Questions 1. How do participants describe and conceptualise play fighting compared to sibling aggression? 2. What do participants’ accounts reveal in relation to the normalisation of sibling aggression?

Method Semi-structured interview study Asked questions about play fighting, parental involvement and the causes of arguments/disagreements. 18 participants from UCLan who reported being a victim and/or perpetrator of sibling aggression. Interviews lasted between 15 and 55 minutes.

Results Thematic analysis used to analyse the data following the recommendations of Braun and Clarke (2006). 2 main themes: The nature of play and real fighting The normalisation of sibling aggression Each had a number of sub themes

Theme 1: The nature of play and real fighting “I thought he was and we was like ‘oh it’s only play fighting’ but he was actually hurting me” (Mia) “It was actually something that I, I enjoyed doing” (Emily) “it’s a healthy part of a relationship I would say for every family” (Tina) “mum introduced the rule that if I said Tom you’re hurting me, it wasn’t playing anymore and it had to stop” (Emily) “If his friends were round, I wouldn’t play fight with his friends.” (Carrie)

Theme 1: The nature of play and real fighting “I don’t remember ever feeling afraid and I wouldn’t have thought they'd be afraid of me. I think it was, it was a bit of the norm in our house to be honest” (Amy). "…if we got frustrated we got angry, if we got angry we got furious [laughs] and then we'd probably start belting each other" (Amy) “I felt afraid of her because she was older and stronger than me” (Beth) "I fought quite a lot with her because of what was going on" (Jack).

Theme 2: Normalisation "…so with my brother that to me that was the only way of communicating with him, or well he’ll shut up if I punch him in the face" (Carrie). "I think cos he was a boy that’s like, he liked fighting as it was and then I had an argument, give him a reason to fight" (Leah). "I think it’s to do with maybe rough and tumble, boys wanting to do that and then I was quite a tomboy so I used to, it was only me and Oliver that would play fight though" (Carrie). "Like at a younger age you don’t really know that you're supposed to come to a compromise" (Tom)

"I've always been told off for doing that with my brother" (Jack) Theme 2: Normalisation "I've always been told off for doing that with my brother" (Jack) "…they seem to be unaware a lot of the time so I don’t know, maybe we were quite erm secretive about it [laughs]. Secret scrap [laughs]" (Amy) "…they'd just say stuff like 'oh brother and sisterly love' stuff like that. This is what brothers and sisters do, I did it with mine" (Mia)

Conclusions The distinction between play and sibling aggression comes from the emotions behind the behaviours rather than the individual acts themselves Normalisation was based on gender roles, age and parental involvement By actually asking participants about their experiences, a lot of information has been gathered about sibling aggression The findings have the potential to help identification of situations where intervention is necessary

Thank you for listening Email: NHarrison1@uclan.ac.uk