Disclaimer This power point was developed from presentations, handouts, discussions, and information presented at the 2016 NAFRA Formation Workshop.

I HEAR YOU! All Say loud and Clear I HEAR YOU !

COMMUNICATION We spend roughly 60 percent of our communication time listening. Let’s define listening as making meaning of sound. It’s a mental process. “Sit up straight! Open your ears! Please Listen to what your about to hear!” Dr. Suess

Let them be modest, gentle, meek, and humble” Communication is when we listen and speak with respect. The value of listening is more than just hearing. St. Francis of Assisi—Later Rule St. Francis of Assisi In the Later rule said, to his companions be modest , gentle, meek .and humble when you speak.

COMMUNICATION “Nature gave man two ears but only one tongue, which is a gentle hint that he should listen more than he talks!”

Listen with your ------------- You listen with your eyes, your ears and with your heart

How we communicate makes a difference 1. Focus and maintain eye contact when listening 2. Positive body language 3.Show empathy and support 4.Show collaboration(sharing) builds a strong fraternity 5. Invitation ( outreach) 6.No private agenda in discussions 7. Pray with and for one another 8.Be a personal example 9. Don’t pre-judge We as formators are responsible for building and forming the order through our local fraternities. In order to build strong, successful fraternities good communication is required.- Good communication draws us together .G.C. Is more than speaking and hearing, It is body language non verbal as well as verbal which is important. Our facial expression tells it all. It is inclusion and respect.(Inclusion EX.)

How We Communicate Makes a Difference WHO Am I ? (an Exercise) Share your story by listening actively. Share the good and the bad. Try your communication skills. “Lord help me see what you love in this person.” This quote is a useful small prayer. Folks, when you have your coffee conversations (interviews) it is important to listen carefully and respectfully. It is as important as speaking. Inclusion is when you consciously extend boundaries. At your gatherings what do you do to make a person welcome? Think now how do you personally know when you are included ( Put yourself in their place). Tell the person next to you when you know you are included. (4min) Share.

What sets the Tone for you when you enter a “gathering” Welcoming – be ready when people arrive A. smile b, holy hug, a table item i.e. candle, statue or scripture (bible) Did you send an agenda (no secrets) What forms of communication can you use Among members Among public Now you are ready.

Create a comfortable climate Respect all individuals A Listening Sheet Create a comfortable climate Respect all individuals Set Clear learning objectives Listen carefully and thoughtfully Encourage questions ( be prepared ) Welcome feedback— A .EVALUATION QUESTIONS 1. What would you do different ? 2. What works ; what doesn’t 3. Collaboratively learning 4. Suggestion box – no complaints ( just helps) +Are you ready to dialogue. A form of dialogue which helps grow in understand is Mutual Respect. Listening skills can make or break an interview. Listening enhances the fraternity gathering. Good listening helps you get results as well as control the communication process. We do not have a strong fraternity if we do not communicate well. We need strong fraternities (the locals) are the foundations of the SF order.

RASA: How to listen actively Action Pay attention Make some sound or smile or nod So… You are saying…. How can I follow this? This means .. or tell me more about this Reaction Receive Appreciate Summarize Ask questions Clarify

E= Use EMPATHIC listening S= Be sensitive P= Ponder E= Examine Respectful Communication Guidelines As presented by Eric Law at the 2007 Q R= Responsibility E= Use EMPATHIC listening S= Be sensitive P= Ponder E= Examine C= Confidentiality T= Trust R-Take responsibility for what you say without blaming others ;E- Pay attention to another person with empathy (emotion, ID;S differences in communication, compassion, feeling insight styles and cultures; P- think about what you hear & feel before you speak; E- Your own assumptions and perceptions; C You are not a news reporter or an radio announcer so mums the word; T- Because we are not here to debate who is right and who is wrong. We Trust each other, develop trust within the group.

Provide the speaker with your undivided attention Be non-judgmental Empathic Listening Provide the speaker with your undivided attention Be non-judgmental Read the speaker observe the emotions behind the words the body language Be quiet Assure your understanding. “seek to understand ,before being understood” http//www.lifehock.org/articles/5 tips for emotional listening.html also Julian Treasure: Ted talks

I HEARD YOU! Did you hear me? All: I heard You.