Effective Communication Skills Ingrid Tugwell 843.529.0098 itugwell@trainwithpst.com

What has changed communication for us? Perceptions Electronics Generations – 5 in the workplace as of 2015 Attitude – 8 and Gate Digging holes in the sandbox Information overload STRESS Workplace conflict Change not communicated

Generations Traditionalist 1922-1943 Baby Boomers 1944-1960 Generation X 1961-1980 Generation Y 1981-2000 Generation Z 2001-Present

Effective Communication Skills The Basic Principles Focus on the situation, issue, or behavior, not on the person. Maintain the self-confidence and self-esteem of others. Maintain constructive relationships with your employees, peers, and managers. Take initiative to make things better. Lead by example.

Effective Communication Skills There are primarily four sources of workplace communication: 1. Spoken 2. Written 3. Visual 4. Electronic

Effective Communication Skills Spoken- fastest and easiest to use, but requires that you listen well and sometimes take notes.

Effective Communication Skills Things to think about when using spoken communication in the workplace: What is it that you need to know? Who would be the best source for the information? How should you ask the questions to get the information you need?

Effective Communication Skills Five Keys to Spoken Communication - State the purpose and main point of your message - Present points to aid understanding - Check for understanding and reactions - Handle reactions to what you’ve presented - Summarize your main point

Effective Communication Skills Written- typically a great source of information. The obvious drawback is that often takes more time to look something up than to ask someone. Examples of written materials in the workplace: - memos - reports - policy manuals - books - SOP’s

Effective Communication Non-verbal signals that encourage cooperation N- Never send mixed signals- words & body language should match O- Open up- both your mind & your body language N- Nod to demonstrate attention & understanding

Effective Communication Non-verbal signals that encourage cooperation V- Vary your tone, pitch & rate of speech E- Eye Contact R- Remain focused; show that you are paying attention B- Be empathic, encouraging & respectful A- ALL that you do in the presence of another communicates L- Listen to the spoken and unspoken message S- Smile; this is a powerful symbol of your cooperation

Effective Communication Electronic- the way of getting information in the workplace.

Workplace Personalities The Know-It-Alls The Passives The Dictators The Gripers The "Yes" People The "No" People The Know-It-Alls They're arrogant and usually have an opinion on every issue. When they're wrong, they get defensive. The Passives These people never offer ideas or let you know where they stand. The Dictators They bully and intimidate. They're constantly demanding and brutally critical. The Gripers Is anything ever right with them? They prefer complaining to finding solutions. The "Yes" People They agree to any commitment, yet rarely deliver. You can't trust them to follow through. The "No" People They are quick to point out why something won't work. Worse, they're inflexible

What is Emotional intelligence It is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they're telling you, and realize how your emotions affect people around you. We all have different personalities, different wants and needs, and different ways of showing our emotions. Navigating through this all takes tact and cleverness - especially if we hope to succeed in life. This is where emotional intelligence becomes important. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they're telling you, and realize how your emotions affect people around you. Emotional intelligence also involves your perception of others: when you understand how they feel, this allows you to manage relationships more effectively. People with high emotional intelligence are usually successful in most things they do. Why? Because they're the ones that others want on their team. When people with high EI send an email, it gets answered. When they need help, they get it. Because they make others feel good, they go through life much more easily than people who are easily angered or upset

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence Self-Awareness Self-Regulation Motivation Empathy Social Skills Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, developed a framework of five elements that define emotional intelligence: Self-Awareness: People with high emotional intelligence are usually very self-aware. They understand their emotions, and because of this, they don't let their feelings rule them. They're confident – because they trust their intuition and don't let their emotions get out of control. They're also willing to take an honest look at themselves. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they work on these areas so they can perform better. Many people believe that this self-awareness is the most important part of emotional intelligence. Self-Regulation: This is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People who self-regulate typically don't allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they don't make impulsive, careless decisions. They think before they act. Characteristics of self-regulation are thoughtfulness, comfort with change, integrity, and the ability to say no. Motivation: People with a high degree of emotional intelligence are usually motivated. They're willing to defer immediate results for long-term success. They're highly productive, love a challenge, and are very effective in whatever they do. Empathy: This is perhaps the second-most important element of emotional intelligence. Empathy is the ability to identify with and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around you. People with empathy are good at recognizing the feelings of others, even when those feelings may not be obvious. As a result, empathetic people are usually excellent at managing relationships, listening, and relating to others. They avoid stereotyping and judging too quickly, and they live their lives in a very open, honest way. Social Skills: It's usually easy to talk to and like people with good social skills, another sign of high emotional intelligence. Those with strong social skills are typically team players. Rather than focus on their own success first, they help others develop and shine. They can manage disputes, are excellent communicators, and are masters at building and maintaining relationships.

Four Ways to be Toxin-Free Default to direct communication Stop character assassinations. Interrupt public re-dressings. Go face-to-face with e-stabbers. Four ways to be toxin-free Default to direct communication and avoid sending messages that leave ambiguity in the mind of the receiver. Practice "XYZ communication.” When you do X, it makes me feel Y. Could I ask you to do Z instead? Stop character assassinations. Avoid becoming a character assassin by using this simple rule: When you speak about someone to others, picture them beside you and only say the things you would say if they were present. If you are a victim of a character assassination, invest in a direct, face-to-face conversations with the person who started the toxic message and those infected by the message. If you witness a character assassination, ask the assassin one simple question – “Have you had this conversation with her yet? If you haven’t, I don’t think I better know about this before she does.” This is hard to do, but it offers the person a great choice-point. You also make it clear that you refuse to be an accomplice to future character assassinations. Interrupt public re-dressings. If you are a manager, don’t discipline people in front of their peers unless the issue absolutely must be addressed publicly, in the moment, to avert a greater disaster. If you are someone who is the at the receiving end, or if you are a bystander, politely but assertively suggest that, “Maybe we should take a five minute break now.” This will give the person a choice to get back in line emotionally and regain their reasoning. Go face-to-face with e-stabbers. Help them understand the implications of using technology as a fault-broadcaster, a power-lever or a butt-covering device. One or two face-to-face conversations with a person like that will provide a healthy disincentive for future e-stabbing incidents.

Remember the “Don'ts” Shut down Judge Issue an ultimatum Make assumptions Make snap decisions Question integrity or credibility Review old history Buy in to the emotions

What Have We Learned and Why is it Important? Tact and diplomacy are the keys to dealing and communicating successfully with all types of people and all kinds of tough situations. It will help you put your point across without appearing pushy and aggressive. Tact and diplomacy will help you communicate more powerfully and effectively. The skill improves with each and every encounter. If you make an effort in that direction, the rewards and satisfaction can be tremendous