Week 7 Agenda Review of last week’s lessons Homework Review Lesson 16-Introduction to Problem Solving Lesson 17-Problem Solving Skill 1: Stop and Think Break Lesson 18-Problem Solving Skill 2: State the Problem Homework Distribution

Lesson 16 – Introduction to Problem Solving

Group Rules

Negotiating 1. Decide if you and the other person are having a difference of opinion 2. Tell the other person what you think about the situation 3. Ask the other person what he/she thinks about the situation 4. Listen objectively to his/her answer 5. Think about why the other person might feel this way 6. Suggest a compromise

Dealing with an Accusation 1. Think about what the other person has accused you of 2. Think about why the other person might have accused you 3. Think about ways to answer the person’s accusations 4. Choose the best way to do it 5

Homework Review

3 Key Types of Skills Cognitive Self Change - Paying attention to the thoughts and feelings that go on inside of us to avoid the kinds of thoughts and feelings that lead us to trouble Social Skills – Behaviors or abilities we use in situations that involve other people Problem Solving Skills – Skills to help us make better choices 7

Conflict Cycle Problem Consequences Feelings and Thoughts Action

Problem Solving Skills Skill 1 – Stop and Think Skill 2 – State the Problem Skill 3 – Set a Goal and Gather Information Skill 4 – Think of Choices and Consequences Skill 5 – Make a Plan Skill 6 – Do and Evaluate

Skill 1: Stop and Think Step 1: Stop: Pay attention to your warning signs – Bodily Sensations; Risk thoughts; Risk feelings Step 2: Think: Reduce your risk – Be quiet; Get space; Calm down

Skill 2: State the Problem Step 1: Identify a Warning Sign Step 2: Describe the situation objectively Step 3: Identify a Risk Reaction

Skill 3: Set a Goal and Gather Information Step 1: Identify and set a positive and realistic goal Step 2: Gather Information: 1. Facts 2. The other person’s thoughts and feelings

Skill 4: Think of Choices and Consequences Step 1: Brainstorm choices Step 2: Think about consequences Step 3: Pick a choice to get to your goal

Skill 5: Make a Plan Step 1: Identify who, where and when Step 2: Choose key Social Skills that can help you Step 3: Identify what you will do or say Step 4: Identify how you will do and say it Step 5: Decide on a thought that will get you started

Skill 6: Do and Evaluate Step 1: Do it Step 2: Ask questions Step 3: Decide what to do next

Lesson 17 – Problem Solving Skill 1: Stop and Think

Types of Problems In your face problems -Situations where you have to act immediately Time to think problems - Situations where you do not have to take immediate action 17

Problem Situations “Time to think” “In your face” A report from a father when he finds his daughter doing drugs I walked into the room and saw her using. I felt like waves of heat were flaming around me and my insides started shaking. I clenched my jaw and my fists “I read the list of people who made the team and my name wasn’t there. I felt my head start to throb, my mouth got dry and my muscles got tight 18

Feeling and Thinking Skills – Their Temperature Feelings Thinking 19

Problem Solving – Skill 1: Stop and Think Step 1: Stop! Pay attention to your warning signs Bodily Sensations Risk thoughts Risk feelings Step 2: Think! Reduce your risk Be quiet Get space Calm down

Stop and Think Skill Step 1: Stop! Pay attention to your warning signs 21

Problem Solving – Skill 1: Stop and Think Step 1: Stop! Pay attention to your warning signs Bodily Sensations Risk thoughts Risk feelings 22

Problem Solving – Skill 1: Stop and Think Step 2: Think! Reduce your risk Be quiet Get some space Calm down 23

Calm Down Thoughts I can handle this Chill ! Take time to think Stop and think This is a problem Life is crazy, but I am calm I will decide what happens next Just count to 10 What is happening here? 24

Lesson 18 – Problem Solving Skill 2: State the Problem

Problem Solving – Skill 2: State the Problem Step 1: Identify a warning sign Step 2: Describe what happened objectively Step 3: Identify a risk reaction 26

State the Problem 1. Start with “I” 2. Objective description of situation 3. Identify reaction I (think or feel) ________ because _________ , and my risk is to react by ______. 27

Reaction to Roster I read the list of people who made the team and my name wasn’t there. I felt angry, embarrassed and disappointed. I felt my head start to throb, my mouth got dry and my muscles got tight 28

Father’s Reaction to Daughter I walked into the room and saw her using. I felt like waves of heat were flaming around me and my insides started shaking. I clenched my jaw and my fists. I thought, “My daughter is wasting her life.” “She must be selling to have money to do this” 29

Which steps are missing? “You give me a hard time and I’ll give you a hard time” Supervisor example – Statement 1 30

Identify the steps “I think my supervisor likes to put me down because he told me to redo the last job he gave me in front of the other workers, and my risk is to react by telling him off” Supervisor example – Statement 2 31

What steps are missing? “My friend is no longer my friend and he will certainly figure that out the next time I see him” Friend example – Statement 1 32

Identify the steps “I feel disrespected because my friend did not show up at the time we set for the meeting, and my risk is to make fun of him next time I see him” Friend example – Statement 2 33

What steps are missing? “Stores charge way too much money for what things are worth so you gotta’ do what you gotta’ do” Money example – Statement 1 34

Identify the steps “I feel frustrated because I don’t have enough money to buy something I want, and my risk is to steal it” Money example – Statement 2 35

Mental Toolbox Stop and Think State the Problem 36

Homework 37