EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS THE ABILITY TO: EFFECTIVELY PERCEIVE AND MANAGE ONE’S EMOTIONS EFFECTIVELY MANAGE EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS OF OTHERS AROUND US

Ever wonder why…. When you are writing a stressful test, you can’t think of the right answer until AFTER you are done the test? When you are having a heated conversation with someone, you are unable to come up with any kind of thoughtful replies or arguments? We fly “off the handle” with someone (saying things we don’t mean, doing things we shouldn’t)? We act differently under stress, than when we are not stressed?

Amygdala – 2 small glands in the midbrain; seat of emotional memory, learning and processing. Answers one critical question of human survival: do I use fight or flight? Neo Cortex – area close to the frontal lobe of the brain; seat of working memory and IQ Helps us make good, reasonable and objective decisions EMOTIONAL HIGHJACK A trigger (relational, environmental stress) causes the amygdala to “fire” Increase HR, BP, reflexes Cortisol (a hormone) is released into the blood stream – affects frontal lobe and Neo cortex Decreased function of logical reasoning abilities The effects of coritsol lasts for up to 20 minutes, and takes 4 hours to flush out of the blood stream.

SAFE – physically, emotionally ACCEPTED – included, liked, needed, paid attention to RESPECTED – understood, treated fairly, dignity VALUED – appreciated, heard, worthy, recognized, praised POWER – choice, control, able to act, have a say WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO – OUR NEEDS

S O S S TOP! – disengage to re-engage more effectively XYGENATE! – hack into the emotional system, flush the cortisol TRENGTHEN APPRECIATION! – remember who you are talking to EEK INFORMATION! – remove the trigger Helping yourself...

LISTEN – help them express their emotions LABEL – acknowledge and (where appropriate) validate emotion LOOK – appropriate behaviours associated with emotions Helping others...