浙江省高考写作新题型练习 阅读 P18 At first my new surroundings were difficult to tolerate… 这一段，完成以下写作任务： 1. 用约 30 个词概括这个段落的主要内容。 (5 分 ) 2. 该段落提到，未来世界的技术飞速发展，但四面八 方飞驰而来的 “ 汽车 ” 仍使交通处于无序状况。放眼当 下，由于车辆、行人不遵守交通规则而使交通处于无 序状态，甚至酿成灾难的案例比比皆是。用约 120 词 就此谈谈你的看法，内容包括：（ 20 分） （ 1 ）你认为你所在的地区最突出的一个违反交通规 则的现象是什么？ （ 2 ）造成该现象的原因是什么？ （ 3 ）作为中学生，我们可以做些什么？

写前活动 审题 字数 (120 字 ) 要点 (3 点，分为 3 个自然段 ) 所在的地区最突出的一个违反交通规则的现象 造成该现象的原因 ( 不够深入 ) 作为中学生，可以采取的措施 三点之间的逻辑联系？ 逻辑不够严密或者错误 先学会写语法正确、地道的文章，在此基础上加工 ( 太多 中式英语 ) 时态、人称的一致、单复数

表达错误 ( 语法错误 ) The most outstanding phenomenon which breaks the rules is that drivers always run the light when there is no cop or which leads to a mess in traffic or even serious accidents. They don’t aware the importance of the waiting time. There existing a large number of people are deeply absorbed in chatting with friends… It is people’s unaware of traffic rules that make the city suffered. Just make an influence on parents by persuading them not to do it, then on the neighbors, at last, by running campaigns, using the Internet we surely can affect the nation.

表达错误 ( 中式表达 ) People’s thought that I just park for a while so it doesn’t matter can’t avoid the blame. Once there are plenty of passers-by going to cross the road, they will set off, pretty harmoniously. One person cross it, the second, the third and so on. The traffic lights is so long that waste them too much time. walk through the cars

表达错误 ( 学会简洁表达，避免从句、形、副 滥用 ) It can put people’s life in a dangerous condition. It can put people’s life in danger. Because of the increasing population of people who own cars car owners, rule breakers… We should obey the traffic rules, then we will have the chance to ask others to do something. We should start from ourselves by obeying the rules, thus teaching others by example. The phenomenon that is quite common is that some people cross the roads wherever they like.

逻辑错误 / 不够严密 break the rules, which contributes to the sharply increasing number of accidents raise their awareness of traffic rules… My suggestion is that the government can make more strict rules, which is of great use for those who always break the rules. So troublesome the practice is, it should not be encouraged. A senior high school students as I am, I have responsibility to reduce the phenomena. Many big cities have made some laws to restrict the increasing of the cars, but the practice doesn’t influence on the traffic obviously. Such as talking and eating, which indirectly results in the accidents. with the least attention paid to…

语言鉴赏 I suggest students commute between home and school by bus or on foot which not only strengthens students’ self-care ability but also is beneficial for students’ health. Secondly, parents are supposed to be informed of the significance of obeying traffic rules thus creating pleasant and peaceful surroundings for students. YLB The universal lack of the awareness of the importance of observing traffic rules has already driven us to a dangerous situation where pedestrians and drivers … that they lose sight of their safety, which may even lead to severe accidents. YY The traffic department neglecting management is another contributing factor. This encourages them to regard their bad behaviours as a daily habit. LH

Nowadays, there widely exists a scene where walkers are blocked by the constantly rushing vehicles in front of the zebra crossing where traffic lights are absent, especially during rush hours. Worse still, the zebra crossing seems to be no longer as safe as expected when tragedies happen on it. NKR Being equipped with discipline is fundamental while legal preparation is another safety belt. ZSQ

One of the most serious phenomena of traffic problem in my hometown is drunk driving, which causes a lot of traffic accidents. In my opinion, because of drinking, they lose their control, and the sad event happen, which makes a large number of economy and social loss. It due to the lack of responsibility of the drivers, once they escaped from being caught, they would do it again. The behaviour ignores the driver’s life and the law. From my own perspective, as a senior high school student, I have responsibility to reduce the phenomena. Though I can’t prevent the drivers from wine, I can take action to suggest my relatives no to do that. What’s more, I can tell the students around me to do so. Actions speak louder than words, if everyone does it, the sad event will cut down soon. 9 分作文

As far as I am concerned, the most serious traffic problem in my area is that people are always crossing roads without looking at traffic lights, which has been called Chinese road- crossing nowadays. So common is the phenomenon that it causes traffic jam or mess everywhere they are crowds crossing roads, as well as gives rise to accidents putting those pedestrians at risk. Objectively speaking, the main factor of the problem is people's lack of awareness of traffic rules' importance. Some of them break rules even without knowing that, and the others sensible of the rules also behave badly only driven by the culture of following others. Meanwhile, the unreasonable layout of the city traffic system is another contributing factor. For instance, greean-light time is so limited in some busy roads which pushes poeple to go through red lights in order to save time. 16 分作文

From my point of view, it’s a duty of us citizens to deal with the problem, especially us students. Above all, we ought to observe the traffic rules instead of following others who ignore them. Only since then can we educate people around us and raise their awareness by setting an example. 16 分作文

Traffic jam, sometimes, may not result from the drivers but the cars parked badly on the road. Apart from it, parking at random, a disturbing phenomenon, not only brings you parking tickets, but also does much harm to society. The limited parking space mainly contributes to the troublesome phenomenon, while the mounting number of private cars makes it worse. Nevertheless, the subjective reason also plays a role in it. For lack of the awareness of observance of the traffic rules, the public park cars at random for their own convenience. To dispose of the problem, it's the most important to build more parking lots and pay more attention to the sustainable city expansion. Meanwhile, our behaviours are at the disposal of our mind, hence the need to raise the public awarenss and call on citizens to park in a correct way. 17 分作文