BALANCED LIFESTYLES: MANAGING EXPECTATIONS William “King” Cole Series II March 31, 2016 Jennifer Fadden, City Manager City of Colleyville

Stress epidemic 77% of Americans “regularly experience physical symptoms caused by stress 73% “experienced psychological symptoms” 48% say their “stress has increased over the past five years”

Nirvana Like this? Or this?

SELF The imbalance begins… Given the demands on local government managers today, sometimes it can feel like this: FAMILY LEADER WORK

The imbalance continues… When there is illness, dual careers in a marriage, children in crisis (perhaps teenagers or toddlers), or aging parents it can look more like this: SELF WORK LEADER FAMILY

Why balance is a challenge for us  Life in the fishbowl  Around the clock availability through technology  Expectations of availability  MIS/information sharing  Different generations have different needs  Even strengths can become weaknesses in the wrong setting or if they are overused

What others say… …”A very wise city manager once told me, ‘This job will demand enough of you and your family, so when you have an opportunity to go to your kid's activities, do it.’ He went on to say that he missed too many of his kid's events and he regretted not doing when he had the chance. I always have kept that in mind and also stress that with my employees.” -Paul Stevens, City Manager, Waxahachie

Why balance is a challenge for me  Became a city manager (too) young  Two children  Husband with career (multiple)  Aging parents  Community involvement  Professional development

What others say… “In order to be able to balance life and all the roles we play I have found it is critical to surround myself with people I trust and build a good support group. You can't be everywhere all the time so you must be able to trust those that will fill in for you whatever the role (manager, parent, etc.) when you can't be there. Also prioritize and be very intentional with your actions and schedule. I make every attempt not to fill my schedule with just work stuff. I'm intentional about making time for my husband, children, friends, and myself regularly. I also think service in other ways is important. For me, that's service in a leadership role at my church. It helps me keep perspective on things.” -Paulette Hartman, Assistant City Manager, North Richland Hills

What the experts say… (habits of highly effective stress managers) 1.know how to relax 2.eat right and exercise often 3.get enough sleep 4.don’t worry about the unimportant stuff 5.don’t get angry too often 6.be organized 7.manage time effectively 8.have a strong support system 9.live according to your values 10.have a good sense of humor

Techniques for the organization  Flex scheduling  Alternate service hours  Must have adequate staff  Personal leave policies  Floating holiday  Bereavement leave  Create a culture of work/life balance  Walk the talk  Empowerment  Delegation

Techniques for you  Establish boundaries  Relaxation  Exercise  Conversation  Build supportive structures  Self-care  Be able to laugh at yourself

What others say… “I’ve learned that you just have to force yourself to make time. If you don’t it won’t happen. Time off and away from work is critical to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I take two weeks off in June and again in December; it’s my “battery recharging time”. Council knows to expect it and have accepted it as part of my work ethic.” -Bruce Glasscock, City Manager, Plano

What others say… “In order to have balance, you need something to balance that is not ‘work’. A hobby, sport, activity, or just volunteering gives you perspective that will help. Having a supportive spouse is also essential in making sure you can maintain balance. I am fortunate to have a husband that can do a lot of the day-to-day errands so I can still volunteer at my daughters' school and serve on non-profit boards.” -Karen Daly, City Manager, Hutto

Get/stay organized

What I would do differently…  Be deliberate in incorporating work/life balance in my career trajectory  Be more inflexible with boundaries  Be more sensitive to the stress of the job on my health  Lean on peers/colleagues more  Learn to say no to the non-essential, non- important stuff

Take the Wheel of Life Test:

What others say… “It is a myth that you can do it all so we shouldn’t put that kind of pressure on ourselves. Sometimes you are great at work and sometimes you are great at home. You have to build support systems in both arenas to allow you to give the attention where it’s needed most on any given day…understanding spouses, supportive co-workers, competent kids, independent staff.” -Susan Alanis, Assistant City Manager, Fort Worth

Parting thoughts…  Build downtime into your schedule  Drop activities that sap your time or energy  Rethink your errands  Get moving  Remember that a little relaxation goes a long way

BALANCED LIFESTYLES: MANAGING EXPECTATIONS William “King” Cole Series II March 31, 2016 Jennifer Fadden, City Manager City of Colleyville