Your Thoughts Objectives: * Understand that we are responsible for our own thoughts. * Define and understand the concept of automatic thoughts.

Personal Responsibility for One’s Thoughts ➢ What are some things leaders are responsible for ? ➢ Make your own list. ➢ Share it with your table group. As a group, decide on the three most important things you think leaders should be responsible for. ➢ Someone from your group share with the class.

Three Things Leaders Are Responsible for: ➢ 1) Their thoughts, ➢ 2) Their attitudes, and ➢ 3) Their actions ➢ The first thing leaders are responsible for is their thoughts! ➢ Why would a leader need to take responsibility for what he/ she is thinking?

What are some ways people can impact the way we think about ourselves? ➢ We’ve discussed several times before in Teen Leadership how much we are influenced by the data/ input we receive from others as we grow up. Remember?

➢ As a baby we begin to receive feedback about who we are, and this process results in the formation of our self-concept. We developed either healthy or unhealthy self-concepts based upon what kind of feedback we received and what we did with that feedback. ➢ We began to develop thoughts about ourselves that were very much impacted by the comments and behaviors of others towards us. ➢ If they’re negative, those thoughts can actually limit us.

Now, who’s in charge of my thoughts? ➢ Do you know anyone who was born wanting to be a failure in life? ➢ I don’t believe there is any such thing as a born loser! ➢ You were not born with a desire to fail, you were born with a desire to excel! ➢ You were born thinking you could do anything…until somebody started teaching you otherwise. ➢ Have any of you ever heard of any babies who were born with a fear of walking or… can you imagine a baby being born thinking, “You know? I think when I grow up I want to be a failure.” ➢ Little babies want to try everything! In fact, as babies, we were born with only two known natural fears: ● A fear of falling ● A fear of loud noises

Who’s in charge of your thoughts? ➢ …are you a born failure? ➢ …are you ever going to amount to anything? ➢ …are you a total mess-up? ➢ I don’t think you are, but who’s responsible for what you think about yourself? Am I?

That’s right! ➢ You and only you are responsible for what you think! ➢ You are responsible for every thought you have…and not just thoughts about you, but thoughts about others, too… and not just thoughts about others, but thoughts about events occurring in your life, as well!

Automatic Thoughts ➢ Define “automatic thoughts.” What does that sound like to you? ➢ Have you ever been working on something, and it doesn’t work out, so you immediately get down on yourself? ➢ Or…someone suggests that you would be a good person for a certain job, but you know you couldn’t do it. ➢ These responses are prompted by what are known as automatic thoughts. ➢ Many of these automatic thoughts seem to be present with us even when we don’t want them to be. It’s very likely that many of them originated when we were children, but we are not doomed to be controlled by them!

Examples of automatic thoughts… ➢ Strong people don’t ask for help. ➢ If others criticize me, I must have done something wrong. ➢ I should be happy all the time. ➢ Everyone should like me. ➢ I can’t help what happens to me. ➢ What’s wrong with me? ➢ Have any of you ever had these kinds of thoughts? How do they make you feel? What do you do with them?

We all struggle… ➢ The truth is, all of us struggle with thoughts such as these. ➢ …, is making mistakes terrible? Why?/ Why not?

Again, who’s in charge of what I think? ➢ That’s right. I am! ➢ So, who is in charge of yours?

Talk about this… ➢ How do you think emotionally-healthy people tend to see themselves? ➢ What are the thoughts emotionally-healthy people tend to think about themselves?

➢ Did you know that researchers have discovered that “emotionally-healthy people” tend to look at themselves in unrealistically positive ways? ➢ In other words…they’re probably not looking at themselves as realistically as we’d think they should. ➢ In fact, they’re probably thinking too highly of themselves, but…because they do, they also tend to be happier, healthier, and less stressed-out!

➢ On the other hand, it’s the people who judge themselves more accurately who tend to suffer from depression! ➢ In other words…they’re “right on” in their self- evaluations, but when they realize their shortcomings, it depresses them! In fact, many of them develop a sense of hopelessness about their lives. ➢ So, even though I may not really be as good a person as I think I am, I’m still happier and healthier than people who are better judges of themselves! ➢ Doesn’t that seem strange? ➢ What that says to me is that I need to work on thinking more positively about myself…and others, too!

Remember, you’re responsible for all of your thoughts. ➢ Thoughts about yourself…I can choose to think better thoughts about myself! ➢ Thoughts about others…I can choose to think more positively about other people! ➢ Thoughts about events…I can really choose to think differently about situations that occur…such as the car that pulls out in front of me! ➢ I choose the thoughts I want to have!