Having fun ignoring signals.

Where do you use feedback in your life?

FEEDBACK - DEFINITION feed·back P Pronun ciation Key (f d b k ) n. Pronun ciation Key 1.The return of information about the result of a process or activity; an evaluative response: asked the students for feedback on the new curriculum. 2.The process by which a system, often biological or ecological, is modulated, controlled, or changed by the product, output, or response it produces.

FOR USEFUL FEEDBACK OBJECTIVES ARE NEEDED

Requirements of Effective Feedback Provide clear, explicit, public Expectations Focus on observing performance Communicate to facilitate thinking, learning and performance of desired behaviors Understand what effective feedback looks, feels, sounds like Use feedback as key aspect of coaching, guiding and counseling Model how to give and receive feedback

Providing Feedback when coaching, guiding and counseling “They call it coaching, but it is teaching. You do not tell them it is so, You show them the reasons why it is so and you repeat and repeat until they are convinced, until they know.” Vince Lombardi

Requirements of Effective Feedback Provide clear, explicit, public Expectations Focus on observing performance Communicate to facilitate thinking, learning and performance of desired behaviors Understand what effective feedback looks, feels, sounds like Use feedback as key aspect of coaching, guiding and counseling Model how to give and receive feedback

McGill and Beatty (in "Action learning: A practitioner’s guide", London: Kogan Page, 1994, p ) provide useful suggestions about giving effective feedback: 1.Clarity -- Be clear about what you want to say. 2. Emphasize the positive -- This isn’t being collusive in the person's dilemma. 3. Be specific -- Avoid general comments and clarify pronouns such as “it,” “that,” etc. 4. Focus on behavior rather than the person. 5. Refer to behavior that can be changed.

6. Be descriptive rather than evaluative. 7. Own the feedback -- Use ‘I’ statements. 8. Generalizations -- Notice “all,” “never,” “always,” etc., and ask to get more specificity -- often these words are arbitrary limits on behavior. 9. Be very careful with advice -- People rarely struggle with an issue because of the lack of some specific piece of information; often, the best help is helping the person to come to a better understanding of their issue, how it developed, and how they can identify actions to address the issue more effectively.

Responding to FEEDBACK Criticism is best dealt with in 3 stages known as the Triple A Principle:

Stage 1 Awareness – take all criticism as "legitimate" and then move to assess its merit. Stage 2 Assessment – of whether the criticism is really valid or not. To determine if criticism is valid you should ask: 1.Is this something I have heard before from others? 2.Is the critic an expert in this field? 3.Does the critic have reasonable standards? 4.Is the criticism really about me, or is the critic upset about something else and taking it out on me? Stage 3 Action – decide what you want to do about the criticism.

1.Valid 2.Invalid 3.Difference of opinion It will help you in your personal development if you can recognise each of these and know what specific actions to take as the best response. There are 3 types of criticism:

Valid criticism This is the hardest to handle because we have to admit to our mistakes. However, we often treat it as more serious than it actually is. One coping mechanism is to recognise that we all make mistakes and, in fact, the more full and adventurous our lives, the more likely we are to make mistakes Best Response The best response to valid criticism is to accept the truth This is a skill that allows you to accept your mistakes and move on. It makes you resilient. The most frequent response to criticism when accepting the truth is "you're right….."

Invalid criticism Criticism is usually classified as invalid if: We are not living up to someone's unjustified expectations of us The criticism is factually wrong It is too generalised to be of any real use It covers an event that happened too long ago to be relevant today. Best Response The best response to invalid criticism is to "fog". This is a calm acknowledgment that there may be some truth in the criticism. It avoids counter criticism and requests specific evidence. Soon the critic learns that it is hard work throwing unjustified criticism at you. Some frequently heard fogging responses are: "you could be right", or "perhaps there is some truth in what you say", or even "what you say makes sense". These responses are usually followed by "could you give me some specific evidence?" Other options for invalid criticism are grinning and bearing it, ignoring it or politely disagreeing.

Best Response The best response to invalid criticism is to "fog". This is a calm acknowledgment that there may be some truth in the criticism. It avoids counter criticism and requests specific evidence. Soon the critic learns that it is hard work throwing unjustified criticism at you. Some frequently heard fogging responses are: "you could be right", or "perhaps there is some truth in what you say", or even "what you say makes sense". These responses are usually followed by "could you give me some specific evidence?" Other options for invalid criticism are grinning and bearing it, ignoring it or politely disagreeing. Invalid criticism

Difference of opinion Some criticism is simply the result of a difference of opinion or values. This kind of criticism is sometimes used to cover feelings of jealousy or insecurity. This kind of criticism must still be dealt with otherwise we will never find out if the criticism is legitimate or not. Best Response The best response to situations where a difference of opinion might exist is to request specific feedback. This exhausts the critics complaints and uncovers their true feelings. It has the dual effect of forcing the critic to clarify matters and to focus on the future rather than the past. The common responses to difference of opinion are: "what exactly did I do that," or "what specifically should I do differently in the future?" or "I'm not sure I'm clear about your complaint".

Consider what may happen when feedback is ignored?

Consider what may happen when feedback is followed?