DBQ feedback Do Now: Read over the exemplar DBQ by “Sam Student.” After you are done, on a separate sheet of paper list three things that you think this essay does well.

Be careful with the scaffolding questions: Document 2: Many people missed that Rome’s large size was the second cause being discussed here. Document 3: Many people got the first question wrong. You had to clearly state that Rome’s economic prosperity stopped when expansion stopped. Document 6: You had to be clear that Rome was being invaded by foreign (German) tribes, and the attacks were NOT unified.

Introduction Make sure your introduction has historical background information and a thesis statement with specific causes that you can analyze in the body paragraphs. Use the historical context to help you with the background information.

Make sure you are not just providing information, but using that information as part of an argument that answers the essay question: In some of the paragraphs on Christianity, people wrote extensively about the differences between the Christian religion and the Roman religion and how Christians were persecuted, but did not go on to explain how this actually weakened Rome and contributed to the collapse. In some of the paragraphs on military problems, people mentioned that the Romans had a shortage of soldiers and had to turn to German mercenaries, but did not explain why that would be really harmful to Rome.

Make sure you are NOT quoting from the documents, but putting information from the documents into your own words, and citing that information every time you use it. For example (from the underlined area in the first body paragraph): Because of Christianity, people’s beliefs and feelings overall changed. They lost all of their military spirit and silenced their usual aggressive attitudes because of their newfound beliefs. The normal virtues of Roman society were discouraged by the rise of Christianity. Also, a lot of the money people had, which kept the empire running, was devoted to charities and churches as a sign of their devotion to the church (Document 2).

Many people could have made clearer and more specific arguments regarding slavery and the latifundias For example (from the underlined area in the second body paragraph): These slaves led to the ability for wealthy families to own latifundias, or great estates. They, because of the amount of crops they were able to produce, were able to dominate the market and all agriculture, forcing many small farmer out of business. This left them to drift to the cities looking for work, adding to the already high unemployment rate. It was small farmers who ended up being unemployed, NOT the slaves. Don’t write about the patricians stealing land from the plebeians during the Punic Wars. It happened 600 years before the fall of the Western Roman Empire.

Some people need to expand the amount of outside information in the essay. The example essay does an excellent job of blending together information from the documents with information from notes and handouts to answer the essay question.

A few things I was surprised more students didn’t do: Very few people really talked about the welfare program from document 4, and how this harmed Rome’s economy. Many students did not mention the invasions in Document 6 as part of Rome’s military problems or size problems!

DBQ rewrite assignment (due Friday) If you received above an 83 (B), you have the option of rewriting your DBQ. You can handwrite or type a new version of the essay, based on the comments I gave you and the feedback you received today. I will then average your score on the rewrite with your original grade, and that will be your final grade for the assignment. – When you turn this in, the original draft should be attached to the revised draft. If you do not do this, I will not grade the rewrite. – Do NOT consult any websites in rewriting your essay. Any essays that contain plagiarized material will not be graded. – Any student who received below an 83 (B) on the essay IS REQUIRED TO DO THIS REWRITE.

Coming up in Social Studies 9R! Tomorrow: I will hand out and go over a new thematic essay on belief systems, where you will have to write about Islam and either Christianity or Judaism. We will write that thematic essay in class on Tuesday, March 1. On Wednesday, we will start a new unit on the Middle Ages. On Friday, rewrites of the DBQs will be due.