How to Achieve Coherence at a Micro Level Dr. Richard Johnson-Sheehan Professor of English, Purdue with additions & changes by Tina Heller, 2015 Rationale: Welcome to “How to Achieve Coherence at a Micro Level.” This presentation is designed to introduce technical writers to the basic principles of coherence at a paragraph level The 25 presented here are designed to aid the facilitator in an interactive presentation of the elements of coherence. This presentation is ideal for technical writers who are struggling with coherence in their writing. This presentation may be supplemented with the following INDOT OWL resources: - “Micro Coherence” handout - “How to Achieve Coherence at a Macro Level” PowerPoint - “Macro Coherence” handout Directions: Each slide is activated by a single mouse click, unless otherwise noted in bold at the bottom of each notes page Writer and Designer: Joshua Prenosil Contributors: Richard Johnson-Sheehan, David Blakesley, Jeffrey Hoogeveen Revising Author: Allen Brizee Developed with resources courtesy of the Purdue University Writing Lab © Copyright Purdue University, 2000, 2006, 2008

The manner in which something is written is important. Know your audience. Know what your audience does NOT know. Explain. Be clear & concise. Rationale: Welcome to “How to Achieve Coherence at a Micro Level.” This presentation is designed to introduce technical writers to the basic principles of coherence at a paragraph level The 25 presented here are designed to aid the facilitator in an interactive presentation of the elements of coherence. This presentation is ideal for technical writers who are struggling with coherence in their writing. This presentation may be supplemented with the following INDOT OWL resources: - “Micro Coherence” handout - “How to Achieve Coherence at a Macro Level” PowerPoint - “Macro Coherence” handout Directions: Each slide is activated by a single mouse click, unless otherwise noted in bold at the bottom of each notes page Writer and Designer: Joshua Prenosil Contributors: Richard Johnson-Sheehan, David Blakesley, Jeffrey Hoogeveen Revising Author: Allen Brizee Developed with resources courtesy of the Purdue University Writing Lab © Copyright Purdue University, 2000, 2006, 2008

Coherence Use parallel sentence structure. Repeat key terms. Coherence describes a writer’s ability to connect ideas and provide information in a fluid and comprehensible way. At the paragraph level coherence at achieved through lexical (ex: use of synonyms, an audience’s background knowledge, etc.) and sentence structure choices (ex: compound sentences, introductory phrases, subordinate clauses, etc.) Basically, a reader needs you to Use parallel sentence structure. Repeat key terms. Use transitional words and phrases. The presenter might additionally explain that writers can achieve coherence by using the genre appropriate to their purpose and audience. For an introduction to genres, the presenter should see the “Macro Cohesion” PowerPoint. Click mouse to advance slide.

Coherence lexical choices(ex: use of synonyms, an audience’s background knowledge, etc.) Unfamiliar or scientific terms need to be defined for readers. Click mouse to advance slide. Forest foliage…purple forest flowers…bluebells Forest foliage (plants) include the Mertensia virginica, or Virginia bluebell, and the Campanula rotundifolia, the Bluebell Bellflower.

Coherence sentence structure choices (ex: compound sentences, introductory phrases, subordinate clauses, etc.) Bluebells grow in the forest, and they cover the ground in delicate blooms. In the deepest forests, bluebells blanket the ground. The forest ground looks like a sea because bluebells surround the tree trunks. The presenter might additionally explain that writers can achieve coherence by using the genre appropriate to their purpose and audience. For an introduction to genres, the presenter should see the “Macro Cohesion” PowerPoint. Click mouse to advance slide.

Coherence Examine the coherence of the following paragraph. In Given-New chains, the “given” is the previously explained or presented and the “new” is the new material or information. Topic Sentence (main paragraph idea) + Restrictive sentences (narrow) + Illustrations (examples) Proceed to the next slide. Click mouse to advance slide.

Two Systems of Organization Notice how Given-New and T-R-I function at once! Business school professors perennially debate over whether maintaining an old employee is more costly than hiring a new one. The issue has strong proponents on each side. Human resource experts maintain that keeping an old employee requires fewer man hours for training and orientation. However, management gurus insist that having the right person in the right position increases the overall productivity of a team or workgroup. Between these two arguments are the economists who study new hiring practices in a company-specific context. Topic Sentence Restrictive Sentence The paragraph was taken from two previous PowerPoints on issues in technical writing. In “Five Principles of Readability,” this paragraph was used to demonstrate the given-new method of sentence structure. In “Intraparagraph Organization,” this paragraph introduced the Topic-Restriction-Illustration (T-R-I) method of paragraph organization. A presenter might point out how these methods of paragraph organization function concurrently. The presenter can emphasize that some systems of organization are not mutually exclusive. Rather, many times, two systems of organization can work in tandem to make a paragraph readable. Click mouse to advance slide. Illustrations Restrictive Sentence new information = red old information = blue

Coherence Paragraphs can also achieve coherence The paragraph is coherent because it uses two powerful systems for paragraph organization: given-new and T-R-I. Paragraphs can also achieve coherence by using parallel sentence structure, by aligning the subject of a paragraph for successive sentences. Consider the following paragraph… Here, the presenter should tell the students/participants that given-new and T-R-I are not the only way a writer can effectively organize sentences. The writer can also organize sentences by using particular genres, as previously mentioned, by using parallel sentence structure, and by aligning the subject of paragraphs for successive sentences. Click mouse to advance slide.

Why is this paragraph coherent? Everyone at NASA is excited about Jules Verne. The satellite, Jules Verne, launched into low Earth orbit atop an Ariane 5ES carrier rocket on Friday. It lifted off from ELA-3 at the Guiana Space Centre at 4:03:04. The spacecraft separated from the carrier rocket 1 hour 6 minutes and 41 seconds after lift-off, and navigation systems were subsequently activated. Two days later, on 11 March, the four main engines of the satellite fired for the first time, marking the beginning of several orbital insertion boosts. By all accounts, the operation of the satellite and its propulsion systems were successful. The presenter should allow students/participants several minutes to read over the paragraph. Then, the presenter should facilitate a discussion about why this paragraph is readable. Students may argue that the paragraph is readable because it has relatively short, subject-verb-object sentences. Or, they may argue that the paragraph is readable because it uses plain language. Both of these answers are valid, and the presenter should encourage the students/participants to think about the characteristics of the paragraph that facilitate coherence. Click mouse to advance slide. The paragraph above has been modified from Wikipedia.com. The original can be accessed at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jules_Verne_ATV.

Parallel Sentence Structure Everyone at NASA is excited about Jules Verne. The satellite Jules Verne launched into low Earth orbit atop an Ariane 5ES carrier rocket on Friday. It lifted off from ELA-3 at the Guiana Space Centre at 4:03:04. The spacecraft separated from the carrier rocket 1 hour 6 minutes and 41 seconds after lift-off, and navigation systems were subsequently activated. Two days later, on 11 March, the four main engines of the satellite fired for the first time, marking the beginning of several orbital insertion boosts. By all accounts, the operation of the satellite and its propulsion system were successful. If, in the course of the preceding discussion, the students suggest that the paragraph is readable because it has an subject-verb sentence structure, the instructor can point out that S-V and S-V-O are two of many sentence structures a writer can adopt. S-V and S-V-O are particularly effective because English lends itself to those grammatical constructions. For more information on the S-V-O sentence order, the presenter should consult the “Five Principles of Readability” PowerPoint. Click mouse to advance slide. Subject Verb The paragraph above has been modified from Wikipedia.com. The original can be accessed at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jules_Verne_ATV.

AV – launched, lifted, separated LV – were In addition to the Parallel Sentence Structure, notice the writer’s overwhelming use of action verbs as opposed to linking verbs: AV – launched, lifted, separated LV – were This creates a faster, more concise, clearer piece of writing and better argumentation.

Cohesion • Sense of sentence-by-sentence flow by which the reader moves through a passage, with each sentence connecting to the previous one and the one that follows • The beginning of a sentence is its topic: it’s what the sentence is about • The end of a sentence is its stress: it’s what the sentence delivers, what’s most important about it

Coherence • Coherence refers to the overall sense of unity in a passage, including both the main point of sentences and the main point of each paragraph. • Coherence focuses the reader’s attention on the specific people, things, and events you are writing about

Cohesion For Cohesion in Sentence Beginnings . . . Put the OLD FIRST • Begin your sentences with information familiar to your readers • Don’t begin a sentence with a bit of new information • Don’t begin a sentence with a bit of technical information • Use your openings to refer back to previous material or gently introduce a new topic

Cohesion For Cohesion in Sentence Endings . . . Put the NEW LAST • End your sentences with new information your readers cannot anticipate • Don’t end a sentence with old information • Put the new, technical, and difficult information at the end of the sentence • Use transitions to convey the connections between the ideas in your sentences

Parallel Sentence Structure Parallel sentence structure is effective because it puts the reader into a rhythm of reading S-V-O. The reader comes to expect that the subject from the preceding sentence will be described and elaborated upon in the proceeding sentences. Consider the sentence in the next slide. Does it use parallel sentence structure? Proceed to the next slide. Click mouse to advance slide.

Parallel sentence structure? The public typically has mixed reactions to the space program and NASA. It is thought by some that the space program just costs too much. “14 billion dollars is what it costs to launch and maintain a manned spacecraft, which is ridiculous,” says Bill Starkson, a conservative taxpayer. When a spacecraft is successful, the public is thought to approve of its nation’s accomplishments. This is true, but by a small margin. Only 56% of them approved of the last successful shuttle launch. The instruction should give the students/participants several minutes to read the sentence and analyze its sentences’ structures. Then, the instructor should facilitate a discussion about the paragraph’s sentence structure. In this case, the paragraph is difficult to read because the paragraph uses an expletive (“It is thought…”) inverted sentence order (“…,” says Bill Starkson…), and the passive voice (…the public is thought…). The paragraph does not accompany its T-R-I sentence structure with given-new or parallel organization. For more information on these sentence-level issues, see the “Five Principles of Readability” PowerPoint. Click mouse to advance slide.

Parallel Sentence Structure Rewrite the following paragraph so that its sentences are parallel, S-V-O. The public typically has mixed reactions to the space program and NASA. It is thought by some that the space program just costs too much. “14 billion dollars is what it costs to launch and maintain a manned spacecraft, which is ridiculous,” says Bill Starkson, a conservative taxpayer. When a spacecraft is successful, the public is thought to approve of its nation’s accomplishments. This is true, but by a small margin. 56% of them approved of the last successful shuttle launch. The presenter should allow students/participants to work individually, in pairs, or in groups to reorganize the paragraph. After the students/participants have had an appropriate amount of time to rewrite the sentences, the instructor should ask the students/groups to presenter their paragraphs to the class. After the student/groups have read or presented their paragraph, the instructor should ask the students how they determined which changes to make: How did they locate faulty sentences? How did they decide which subject to put at the beginning of the sentence? Click mouse to advance slide.

Parallel Sentence Structure The public typically has mixed reactions to the space program and NASA. Some people just think space exploration costs too much. Bill Starkson, a conservative taxpayer says, “14 billion dollars is what it costs to launch and maintain a manned spacecraft, which is ridiculous.” When a spacecraft is successful, the public is thought to approve of its nation’s accomplishments. This is true, but by a small margin. Only 56% of the public approved of the last successful shuttle launch. In this case, the sentences were rewritten to provide the reader with information on the the public/taxpayers. Though the paragraph talks about the space program, the paragraph is really about the public’s approval or disapproval. So, the writer of this sentence decided to put the public/taxpayers in the subject slot in each sentence. Though they retained the passive voice in one sentence (“…the public is thought…”), most of the sentences are in the active voice. Click mouse to advance slide. Verb Subject

Repetition of Key Terms You’ll notice that in the two example paragraphs, key terms are repeated again and again. This repetition helps the reader zero in on what’s important and process the information in the paragraph. This creates a thread or path in the writing. Take another look at the paragraphs… Proceed to the next slide. Click mouse to advance slide.

Repetition of Key Terms The public typically has mixed reactions to the space program and NASA. Some people just think space exploration costs too much. Bill Starkson, a conservative taxpayer says, “14 billion dollars is what it costs to launch and maintain a manned spacecraft, which is ridiculous.” When a spacecraft is successful, the public is thought to approve of its nation’s accomplishments. This is true, but by a small margin. Only 56% of the public approved of the last successful shuttle launch. Repetition of key terms and their easily-identifiable synonyms are essential features of cohesion. The paragraph is principally about people/taxpayers, the space program, and the products of the space program, the spacecrafts. Key terms are repeated quite frequently in this short paragraph. The presenter should point out that here the writer uses ‘shuttle’ and ‘spacecraft’ interchangeably and ’people,’ ‘public,’ and ‘taxpayer’ interchangeably. Easily-identifiable synonyms helps the paragraph avoid monotony while retaining the benefits of key term repetition. Click mouse to advance slide.

Repetition of Key Terms Everyone at NASA is excited about Jules Verne. The satellite Jules Verne launched into low Earth orbit atop the maiden flight of the Ariane 5ES carrier rocket on Friday. It lifted off from ELA-3 at the Guiana Space Centre at 4:03:04. The spacecraft separated from the carrier rocket 1 hour 6 minutes and 41 seconds after lift-off, and navigation systems were subsequently activated. Two days later, on 11 March, the four main engines of the satellite fired for the first time, marking the beginning of several orbital insertion boosts. By all accounts, the operation of the satellite and its propulsion systems were successful. In this example, the writer does the same thing. The paragraph is principally about the spacecraft and its propulsion system, and the writer uses key terms, synonyms, and a pronoun to reiterate those themes throughout the paragraph. If students/participants ask how frequently a writer should repeat key terms, the presenter should tell the students that no particular number or ratio exists. Writers get a feel for how frequently they should repeat key terms by reading and using language over time. Repetition of key terms is a flexible heuristic that a writer should employ as they consider sentence structure, purpose, audience, and genre. Click mouse to advance slide. The paragraph above has been modified from Wikipedia.com. The original can be accessed at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jules_Verne_ATV.

Repetition of Key Terms You’ll notice that the key term isn’t always repeated in its original form. Sometimes, a synonym is used to identify the term. In the previous paragraph, Jules Verne, satellite, and spacecraft are all used interchangeably. The presenter should emphasize that if the writer had used ‘Jules Verne Satellite’ throughout the sentence, the term would have become monotonous; it would have made the paragraph less readable. Using synonyms throughout the paragraph adds stylistic qualities to the sentences, and it improves readability and coherence. Click mouse to advance slide.

Repetition of Key Terms Pronouns can also be used to refer to key terms. Consider the following sentence: “It lifted off from ELA-3 at the Guiana Space Centre at 4:03:04.” This sentence uses the subjective pronoun ‘it’ to stand for the Jules Verne satellite. Subjective pronouns are pronouns that can serve as the subject of a sentence. A presenter can point out that objective pronouns are different from subjective pronouns. Subject pronouns represent doers or agents in a sentence while object pronouns represent entities that receive the action of the verb. Whereas the subject/agent slot uses the pronouns you, I, he, she, it, they, and we, the object slot uses you, me, him, her, it, they, and us. Click mouse to advance slide. Subjective pronouns include you, I, he, she, it, they, we.

Practice Example Using parallel sentence structure, rewrite the following paragraph by using synonyms and pronouns for “car”: Not maintaining a car can cost much more in the long run. A study was done by UIC economists that shows that letting car trouble continue doubles the repair cost. According to the American Mechanic Association, not fixing your car can also cost lives. Cars that are not maintained can stall out or seize. Sometimes it happens on the road. In order to keep a car running well and stay safe, it’s best to spend the money up front and have the car maintained regularly. The presenter should allow the students/participants to rewrite the paragraph individually, in pairs, or in groups. After the students have rewritten the paragraph using synonyms and pronouns, the presenter should ask them to share their paragraph with the class. The presenter should ask the students why they made the lexical choices they did. Click mouse to advance slide.

Practice Answer Not maintaining a car can cost much more in the long run. A study by UIC economists shows that letting car trouble continue unchecked will double the repair cost. Additionally, not fixing your vehicle can cost lives. According to the American Mechanic Association, vehicles that are not maintained can stall out or seize. Sometimes they stop running on an interstate or highway, causing crashes and deaths. In the interest of saving money and staying safe, it’s best to spend the money up front and have your car maintained regularly. A presenter should tell the students/participants that writers can use a variety of combinations as they replace key terms with synonyms and pronouns. This paragraph is only one of many examples of effective replacement. Click mouse to advance slide.

Practice Answer Note that in real paragraphs, writing in parallel sentences isn’t always possible. Variation is a good thing; switching between given-new and parallel Sentence structure can help keep a reader interested. Notice, too, that a certain amount of direct repetition is always necessary. Look again at the practice example: Proceed to the next slide. Click mouse to advance slide.

Practice Answer Not maintaining a car can cost much more in the long run. A study by UIC economists shows that letting car trouble continue unchecked will double the repair cost. Additionally, not fixing your vehicle can cost lives. According to the American Mechanic Association, vehicles that are not maintained can stall out or seize. Sometimes they stop running on an interstate or highway, causing crashes and deaths. In the interest of saving money and staying safe, it’s best to spend the money up front and have your car maintained regularly. The instructor should ask the students to consider the sentence structure of the paragraph above. Does it use given-new, parallel sentence structure, and/or T-R-I? How do these systems of organization contribute to cohesion and readability? Click mouse to advance slide.

Transitional Words and Phrases The previous paragraph is additionally successful because it uses transitional words and phrases to move between ideas. Proceed to the next slide. Click mouse to advance slide.

Transitional Words and Phrases Not maintaining a car can cost much more in the long run. A study by UIC economists shows that letting car trouble continue unchecked will double the repair cost. Additionally, not fixing your vehicle can cost lives. According to the American Mechanic Association, vehicles that are not maintained can stall out or seize. Sometimes, they stop running on an interstate or highway, causing crashes and deaths. In the interest of saving money and staying safe, it’s best to spend the money up front and have your car maintained regularly. The presenter should explain that transitional adverbs and transitional phrases provide connections between ideas that would not exist otherwise. The ‘additionally’ above signals to the audience that the sentence will provide another reason for a premise established earlier in the sentence. The ‘Sometimes’ provides a link to the previous sentence and places a caveat on the proceeding statement. This paragraph provides a lot of information in a relatively short space. It would not be able to do so in such a cohesive manner without the assistance of transitional words and phrases. Click mouse to advance slide.

Transitional Words and Phrases To provide more information: additionally, again, also, besides, furthermore, in addition to, moreover, too To compare and contrast: also, although, but, however, in contrast, nevertheless, on the contrary, on the other hand To indicate chronology: after, finally, first/second/third, meanwhile, later, before, afterward, then, next A presenter should emphasize that these are only the most commonly-used transitions for these purposes. The experienced writer can typically compose transitional phrases appropriate to their purpose and audience using prepositional phrases and combinations of the transitions listed above. Click mouse to advance slide. To summarize: finally, in closing, in conclusion, in other words, in short, in summary, therefore, to close, to summarize.

Adapted from The Thompson Handbook by David Blakesley and Jeffrey L Adapted from The Thompson Handbook by David Blakesley and Jeffrey L. Hoogeveen and Technical Communication Today by Richard-Johnson Sheehan Adaptation by Joshua Prenosil and Richard Johnson-Sheehan Thank you for using a Purdue OWL resource. Click mouse to advance slide.

For More Information Contact the Purdue Writing Lab: Drop In: Heavilon 226 Call: 765-494-3723 Email: owl@owl.english.purdue.edu On the web: http://owl.english.purdue.edu Thank you for using a Purdue OWL resource.