1. CEDAR Borders Children Experiencing Domestic Abuse Recovery End of 5th CEDAR Borders group work programme The 5 th children and mother’s groups finished mid-May and were celebrated with an end of group party. We were delighted to be able to run both a children’s group (aged 7-11) and also a young persons group (aged 12-15). The children’s group had an away day at Bowhill adventure playground and the young people chose to visit Go Ape at Glentress Forest. All the group facilitators, mothers and children come together for these exciting, fun (and sometimes scary!) events. Referrals  The referrals came from Children 1st, Integrated Children’s Services, Education and self referrals.  The families were from the Tweeddale, Cheviot and Teviot localities.  Four children completed the primary school age 7-11 group (2 boys and 2 girls) and five young people completed the teens group (2 boys and 3 girls).  Six mums started group but one was unable to complete it due to personal commitments, the other five mums completed group. All mothers were fully engaged in feedback each week and the use of CEDAR tools at home. Partnership working  We continue to build a pool of facilitators and are delighted we have both men and women delivering the group to give us a good balance of positive role modelling.  Education have again been strong partners with such a willingness to support the children. Special thanks to Earlston High, Kingsland Primary, Parkside Primary, Peebles High School, Priorsford Primary, Stirches Primary and Jedburgh Grammar School. Facilitators who delivered the 5th CEDAR group Our focus was increasing and building upon existing learning about domestic abuse with other non-specialist agencies in the Scottish Borders. Our highly committed facilitators for this group came from Berwickshire Housing Association, Eildon Housing Association, Scottish Borders Council, Wheatlands Children’s Unit and Scottish Borders Rape Crisis Centre. What partners said “xxx has told me he feels more confident for doing cedar and thank you for the weekly updates they are really helpful.” “thank you for all the support you give to our young people, I saw you had an article in the newspaper too and just want to say what a fantastic job cedar does.” What facilitators say “ One mum said that she struggled to get her daughter into school each day and Cedar is the first thing that has worked; she said it makes her feel normal.” “ We reflected on the long term impact of Cedar on young people and were in agreement we were not there to “fix” them but to sow seeds for the future and their own relationships.” “There are friendships emerging in the group, some shared interests and a sense of enjoying each other’s company and these are children who have also been bullied at school, so this is a positive outcome.” CEDAR Borders Bulletin – July 2015

2. CEDAR Borders Children Experiencing Domestic Abuse Recovery What children said “.Can I do cedar again when I am older” “.the adults at groups are a bit silly, a bit fun and I like seeing them and my other new friends” “I have told my friend about cedar and think he should go too so he can be safe” What mothers said “I remember the tears during the first two groups. CEDAR has given me a tower of strength. I don’t know how I would have coped without it. I feel a great sense of freedom from all the self blame that I had. “ It’s very difficult to acknowledge that you need to come to a group like CEDAR. “I can be open in here, I kept a lot from my mum, I don’t want to worry her but I suppose that what our own kids are now thinking.” “It’s taking a long time for me to feel distanced from the past but my boys are getting older and I finally feel life is getting better.” “I like being able to talk openly and not be judged. We all have different stories but they are all similar.” Next Steps  The next Cedar group commences in September, please contact elizabeth.parker@scotborders.gcsx.gov.uk for a referral form.elizabeth.parker@scotborders.gcsx.gov.uk What we learned  It can take the first 6 or 7 weeks for the CYPs to gain confidence and feel comfortable contributing in group.  Teenagers will not all have the same perception about violence – it will relate to their degree of exposure.  The CYP accept that their behaviour has consequences in group and that they are there to be role models for each other.  Group is the one thing that is just about the children and they can talk about things that they would never normally discuss. Once their confidence increases they can truly be themselves and act like children.  It is important to have male facilitators as role models who use positive reinforcement. What referrers need to know  CEDAR is predominantly a children’s programme and helps mothers see the Domestic Abuse through a child’s eyes.  CEDAR strengthens the mother child relationship by opening up communication between them.  Assessments must take place no later than 4 weeks before group to enable the Coordinator to build a trusting relationship as women and children are nervous about attending group.  Children’s confidentiality and rights are very important to them and were able to build up trust and openness with the facilitators on this basis.  Next CEDAR groups start in September this year, please use details below to make a referral. CEDAR Borders Bulletin – July 2015