1. Remarriage and Stepfamilies
Chapter 16
Remarriage and Stepfamilies

2. Chapter Outline Remarriage Stepfamilies Strengths of Stepfamilies
The New Stepmother
The New Stepfather
Children in Stepfamilies
Developmental Tasks for Stepfamilies

3. True or False?
About two years is recommended between the end of a marriage and a remarriage.

4. Answer: True
About two years is recommended between the end of a marriage and a remarriage.

5. True or False?
The divorced who live with a new partner before remarriage report a happier remarriage than those who do not live together before a remarriage.

6. Answer: False
Living together is associated with subsequent instability in the new marriage.
Xu, Hudspeth and Bartkowski (2006) analyzed national data on 3480 remarried respondents and found that those who lived together before remarriage reported lower marital happiness than those who had not lived together before remarriage.

7. Remarriage Remarriage for the Divorced
90% of remarriages consist of persons who are divorced rather than widowed.
Preparation for Remarriage
It is not uncommon for persons who are divorced to live together with a new partner before remarriage.

8. Remarriage
Pg. 457
This never-married woman with no children is marrying a man with six children.
Of her experience she said, “It hasn’t always been easy…but it really is worth it.”

9. Remarriage
Pg. 458
Increasingly, the widowed are using the Internet to meet new partners.

10. Stages of Remarriage Boundary Maintenance
A parent must decide how to relate to his or her ex-spouse in order to maintain a good parenting relationship for the biological children while keeping an emotional distance.
Emotional Remarriage
Beginning to trust and love another person in a new relationship.

11. Stages of Remarriage Psychic Remarriage
Giving up the freedom and autonomy of being single to develop a mental state conducive to pairing.
Community Remarriage
A change in focus from single friends to a new mate and other couples.

12. Stages of Remarriage Parental Remarriage
Working out the nuances of living with someone else’s children.
Economic and Legal Remarriage
Alimony and child support can threaten the harmony and economic survival of second marriages.

13. Question
What is the difference between psychic remarriage and emotional remarriage?
Psychic remarriage refers to adjusting to freedom and autonomy. Emotional remarriage refers to beginning to love and trust a new partner.
Psychic remarriage refers to adjustment to children. Emotional remarriage refers to economic responsibilities to the first marriage.
Psychic remarriage refers to connection with a deceased spouse. Emotional remarriage refers to a parent's connection with his/her child.

14. Answer: A
Psychic remarriage refers to adjusting to freedom and autonomy. Emotional remarriage refers to beginning to love and trust a new partner.

15. Remarriage Remarriage for the Widowed
Remarriage for the widowed is usually very different from remarriage for the divorced.
Stability of Remarriages
National data reflects that remarriages are more likely than first marriages to end in divorce in the early years of remarriage.

16. Your Opinion?
To what degree do you believe a father should be financially obligated to his first children before providing money for his second set of children?

17. Question Which of the following is true regarding second marriages?
They have more disposable income.
People remarrying have a longer period of courtship.
They discuss relationship issues more.
People getting remarried are more likely to sign a prenuptial agreement.

18. Answer: D
Regarding second marriages, it’s true that people getting remarried are more likely to sign a prenuptial agreement.

19. Should a Woman Marry a Divorced Man with Children?
Acknowledge that a second marriage is vulnerable.
Question whether living together is beneficial to future marital success.
Delay marriage to a person who has been married before.
Consider a fresh start in a new home.

20. Stages of Parental Repartnering
Transition
Definition
Dating initiation
The parent begins to date.
Child introduction
The child and new dating partner meet.
Serious involvement
The parent begins to present the relationship as “serious” to the child.

21. Stages of Parental Repartnering
Transition
Definition
Sleepover
The parent and partner begin to spend nights together when the child is present.
Cohabitation
The parent and the partner combine households.
Break up a serious relationship.
The relationship experiences a disruption.

22. Stages of Parental Repartnering
Transition
Definition
Pregnancy
A planned or unexpected pregnancy occurs.
Engagement
The parent announces plans to remarry.
Remarriage
The parent and partner create a legal or civil union.

23. Stepfamilies
A stepfamily can be created when a never-married or a widowed parent with children marries a person with or without children.
Most stepfamilies today are composed of spouses who were once divorced.

24. Unique Aspects of Stepfamilies
The children in a stepfamily are biologically related to only one parent.
Only one biological parent in a stepfamily lives with the children.
Everyone in a stepfamily has experienced the loss of a love partner.
Stepfamily members also are connected psychologically to others outside their unit.

25. Stepfamilies:Theoretical Perspectives
Structural-Functional Perspective.
Functionalists view the stepfamily system as vulnerable to an alliance between the biological parent and the biological children who have a history together.
Conflict Perspective.
Conflict in the stepfamily system is seen as desirable in that it leads to equality and individual autonomy.

26. Stepfamilies:Theoretical Perspectives
Interactionist Perspective.
Symbolic interactionists emphasize the meanings and interpretations that members of the stepfamily develop for events and interactions in the family.

27. Question A conflict theorist views conflict in stepfamilies as
unnecessary competition.
too much power is being given to the children.
a symptom of a dysfunctional family.
normal and natural and can lead to equality and autonomy.

28. Answer: D
A conflict theorist views conflict in stepfamilies as normal and natural and can lead to equality and autonomy.

29. Stages in Becoming a Stepfamily
Stage 1: Fantasy
Stage 2: Reality
Stage 3: Being Assertive
Stage 4: Strengthening Pair Ties
Stage 5: Recurring Change

30. Strengths of Stepfamilies
Exposure to a Variety of Behavior Patterns
Happier Parents
Opportunity for New Relationship with Stepsiblings
More Objective Stepparents

31. Question What is the usual order of stages in becoming a stepfamily?
strengthening pair ties, reality, fantasy, resolution, change
resolution, change, reality, fantasy, strengthening pair ties
fantasy, reality, being assertive, strengthening pair ties, recurring change
change, fantasy, resolution, reality, strengthening pair ties

32. Answer: C
The usual order of stages in becoming a stepfamily is: fantasy, reality, being assertive, strengthening pair ties, recurring change.

33. Women in Stepfamilies Accepting Partner’s Children
It’s difficult to love someone else’s children.
Partner’s Children Accepting Stepmother
A stepchild may feel the need to keep an emotional distance in the relationship with the stepmother so as not to incur the anger of the biological mother.

34. Women in Stepfamilies Resenting Alimony and Child Support
It is not unusual for a wife to become upset when her husband sends a portion of his income to a woman with whom he used to live.
Her New Partner and How Her Children Accept Him
For many remarried wives, two concerns are how her new husband accepts her children and how her children accept him.

35. The Stepmother
Pg. 466
The role of stepmom played by Julia Roberts provided insight into this very difficult role.

36. Women in Stepfamilies Having Another Child
Couples with a mutual birth may tolerate more marital stress than couples with no mutual children.
In spite of the decreased satisfaction with one’s stepchildren, having a child in a second marriage is associated with increased stability in the relationship.

37. Men in Stepfamilies
Men with biological children enter stepfamilies with:
An appreciation for the role of parent
some skills in reference to the role
A bond with a child or children who usually live in another house.
The more engaged the stepfather in disciplining his stepchildren, the greater the level of satisfaction.

38. Men in Stepfamilies
Two factors that contribute to a positive stepfather-stepchild relationship:
Active involvement in teaching the stepchild something mutually valued.
An intense love relationship between the stepfather and the biological mother of the stepchild.

39. Stepfather
Pg. 469
This stepfather has been the “real” father in this brides life.
He is giving his stepdaughter away on her wedding day.

40. Children in Stepfamilies
Problems experienced by children in stepfamilies include:
feeling abandoned
having divided loyalties
discipline
stepsiblings

41. Developmental Tasks for Stepfamilies
Acknowledge losses and changes.
Nurture the new marriage relationship.
Integrate the stepfather into the child’s life.
Allow time for relationship between partner and children to develop.

42. Developmental Tasks for Stepfamilies
Have realistic expectations.
Accept your stepchildren.
Establish your own family rituals.
Decide about money.

43. Developmental Tasks for Stepfamilies
Give parental authority to your spouse.
Support child’s relationship with absent parent.
Cooperate with the child’s biological parents.