1. Wellcome Science

2. Communication and Communication Skills/ Part 2
Nataliya Lishchenko

3. Effective Communication Makes Life Works!!!

4. Fundamental Communication Skills

5. What is Listening?
listening: the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to hear something with thoughtful attention
Effective communication is 2-way
depends on speaking and listening

6. Listening vs. Hearing
Hearing- physical process; natural; passive
Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill
Listening is hard!
You must choose to participate in the process of listening.

7. Fast Facts We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm
75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful
20% of the time, we remember what we hear
More than 35% of businesses think listening is a top skill for success
Less than 2% of people have had formal education with listening

8. Percentage of Communication
Mode of Communication
Formal Years
of Training
Percentage of Time Used
Writing
12 years 9%
Reading
6-8 years
16 %
Speaking
1-2 years
30%
Listening
0-few hours
45%

9. Why Be A Good Listener? To be recognized and remembered To feel valued
To feel appreciated
To feel respected
To feel understood
To feel comfortable about a want or need

10. Listening promotes being heard. …”Seek first to understand, then
Listening promotes being heard …”Seek first to understand, then be understood.”
- Stephen Covey (Author of “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”)

11. Listening creates acceptance and openness
Listening creates acceptance and openness …conveys the message that “I am not judging you.”

12. Listening leads to learning. …openness encourages personal
Listening leads to learning …openness encourages personal growth and learning

13. Listening reduces stress and tension. …minimizes confusion and
Listening reduces stress and tension …minimizes confusion and misunderstanding, eliminating related stress and tension

14. Listening is CRITICAL in conflict resolution
…much conflict comes from the need to be heard. Successful resolution depends on being a non-anxious presence.

15. What kind of behavior do you do when you’re not listening
What kind of behavior do you do when you’re not listening? Listening Blocks:
Comparing
Mind Reading
Rehearsing
Filtering
Judging
Dreaming
Identifying
Advising
Sparring
Being Right
Derailing
Placating

16. Bad Listening Habits Criticizing the subject or the speaker
Getting over-stimulated
Listening only for facts
Not taking notes OR outlining everything
Tolerating or creating distraction
Letting emotional words block message
Wasting time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought

17. Effective Listening Four Steps to Effective Listening:
Active Listening
Listening with Empathy
Listening with Openness
Listening with Awareness

18. What is Active Listening?
Active Listening means that you seeking to understand. You make sure that you are getting the correct message without passing judgment.
It includes
“Opening the door” to good conversation
Drawing out a speaker with questions
Reflecting feeling that you hear and see
Paraphrasing to capture content

19. Active Listening (4 Steps)
Question
Reflect-Paraphrase
Agree or desagree

20. Step 1: Listen To Feelings As Well As Words Focus on Speaker
Words – Emotions -- Implications
Focus on Speaker
Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted
What Is Speaker Talking About?
Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?
Look At Speaker
Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers

21. Step 2: Question 3 Purposes Open-ended Demonstrates you are listening
Gather information
Clarification
Open-ended
Tell me more?
How did you feel?
Then what happened?

22. Probing with open-ended comments / questions draws the speaker out
Ask to –
Show interest
(I’d like to hear your opinion on this.”
Encourage more explanation
(What do you think the problem is?)
Keep the person talking
(Tell me more…)

23. Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase
Reflect What Is Said (In your words)
Reflect Feelings
Reframe
Capture the essence of the communication
Remove negative framing
Move toward problem solving

24. You can paraphrase using such lead-ins as:
What I hear you saying is...
In other words...
So basically how you felt was...
Let me understand, what was going for you was...
What happened was...
Do you mean...?

25. PARAPHRASE the speaker to acknowledge the story and capture the content.
CAUTION: Don’t parrot back; be sure to put the message in your own words – that’s active listening.
EXAMPLE: “Let’s see if I got this right. You’re upset because you think we’re going off in the wrong direction and you want to clarify our objective before we write this assignment. Is that right” OR
When you get a clue about why the person is feeling as he or she does, put the message into your own words:

26. Try to paraphrase every time to obtain these five dividends:
Peolpe deeply appreciate feeling heard
Paraphrasing stops escalating anger and cools down crisis
Paraphrasing stops miscommunication. False assumptions, errors, and misinterpretations are corrected on the spot
Paraphrasing helps you remeber what was said
When you paraphrase you’ll find much harder to compare, judge, rehearse, spar, advice, derail, dream, and so on.

28. Step 4: Agree Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing
Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!
Solution Is Near!

29. Activity Speaker – talk for 2 min.
Listener – listen using the skills we’ve discussed

30. You can paraphrase using such lead-ins as:
What I hear you saying is...
In other words...
So basically how you felt was...
Let me understand, what was going for you was...
What happened was...
Do you mean...?

31. Giving a Feedback 3 important rules of giving feedback:
It has to be immediate
Honest
Supportive

32. Evaluating Speeches: Being Compassionate in Criticizing
evaluation approach:
start by saying something positive
focus on the speech, not the speaker
target your criticism*
finish with saying a positive words

33. Listening With Empathy
“Everyone is trying to survive...”
You don’t have to like everyone or agree with them, but recognize that you do share the same struggle...
Every seconds of the day you are trying to survive both phisically and psycologically...

34. Listening With Openness
A scill you can learn
Behaive like an anthropologist talking with a person from another planet or country, trying to understand this person with his/her belives, religion, customs
Do not judge

35. Listening with Awareness
2 components:
To compare what’s being said to your own knowledge of history, people, and the way things are
To hear and observe congruence

36. To be a Good Listener
People want you to listen, so they look for clues to prove that you are.
Maintain good eye contact.
Lean slightly forward.
Reinforce the speaker by nodding or paraphrasing
Clarify by asking questions.
Actively move away from distractions.
Be committed, even if you’re angry or upset, to understanding waht was said

37. For Couples:
Use reciproctal communication – you can really hear each other:
When you’re discussing a topic that is conflict area for you, take turns being the speaker and the listener, switching places after five minutes

38. When you are a speaker: Explain your point of view briefly
Avoid blaming and name calling. Don’t accuse and don’t focus on your partner’s failings.
Talk in terms of yourself and your experience. Focus on what you wnat and what you feel.

39. When you are the listener:
Give your full attention so that you can really understand youyr partner’s feelings, opinions, and needs.
Don’t diagree, argue, or correct anything your partner says.
You can ask questions to clarify an issue, but not to dabate and make counterpoints.

40. So...what?
Reciproctal communication can slow down communication so that conflicts are less likely to escalate while it promotes clarity about the needs and feelings of each partner.

41. Thank You
And...
BE HAPPY IN YOUR LIVES!