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Q UINCY COLLEGE Paralegal Studies Program Paralegal Studies Program Interviewing & Investigation The Listening Process, Listening Skills, and Active Listening.

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Presentation on theme: "Q UINCY COLLEGE Paralegal Studies Program Paralegal Studies Program Interviewing & Investigation The Listening Process, Listening Skills, and Active Listening."— Presentation transcript:

1 Q UINCY COLLEGE Paralegal Studies Program Paralegal Studies Program Interviewing & Investigation The Listening Process, Listening Skills, and Active Listening

2 The Listening Process

3 Listening Definition Definition -The physical and psychological process that involves acquiring, assigning meaning and responding to symbolic messages from others -The physical and psychological process that involves acquiring, assigning meaning and responding to symbolic messages from others.

4 The Listening Process Acquiring Acquiring Attending Attending Understanding Understanding Responding to messages from others Responding to messages from others

5 Acquiring Acquiring - The act of picking up stimulus through the senses. Acquiring - The act of picking up stimulus through the senses. Hearing AbilityHearing Ability -Hearing is the physical process of receiving sound. Noise and Barriers to HearingNoise and Barriers to Hearing -Loud noises, etc -Mismatched verbal and non verbal cues -Irritating mannerisms -Attitude and emotions of the receiver

6 Misconceptions about Listening

7 Attending The act of choosing - consciously or subconsciously - to focus your attention on verbal or nonverbal stimuli. The act of choosing - consciously or subconsciously - to focus your attention on verbal or nonverbal stimuli. Choosing to Attend Choosing to Attend -Your own needs, interests, attitudes and knowledge help us make choices -Your own needs, interests, attitudes and knowledge help us make choices.

8 Understanding Understanding—A complex mental process that involves decoding the symbolic message received from others and then interpreting and assigning a personal meaning to that message. Understanding—A complex mental process that involves decoding the symbolic message received from others and then interpreting and assigning a personal meaning to that message. Decoding Decoding Interpreting Interpreting

9 Understanding Decoding—A listener’s assigning meaning to a sender’s words and non-verbal clues. Decoding—A listener’s assigning meaning to a sender’s words and non-verbal clues. -Listen carefully -Filter message based on own experiences Knowledge, culture and language skills that affect your ability to decode messages. Knowledge, culture and language skills that affect your ability to decode messages.

10 Understanding Interpreting—The process in which you personalize the sender’s message to determine its meaning to you. Interpreting—The process in which you personalize the sender’s message to determine its meaning to you. Receiver determines the actual meaning of the message. Receiver determines the actual meaning of the message. Personal filters Personal filters

11 Responding Response—The listener’s internal emotional and intellectual reaction to a message. Response—The listener’s internal emotional and intellectual reaction to a message. We respond We respond -Emotionally -Intellectually -Analyze and evaluate response -Encode choices about what to say or do

12 Reacting to Messages Reaction Reaction -Emotional -Intellectual Analysis and Evaluation Analysis and Evaluation -Logic and reasoning Feedback/Choice Feedback/Choice -What is the best way to frame my response?

13 Providing Feedback Importance of Giving Appropriate Feedback Importance of Giving Appropriate Feedback -Responsibility to the speaker to provide some idea about whether the message was received -How listener interpreted the message Benefits of Appropriate Responses and Feedback Benefits of Appropriate Responses and Feedback -Hallmark of competent communicator -Keeps communication cycle going Responding and Providing Feedback Appropriately Responding and Providing Feedback Appropriately -Good listener -Overreacting

14 Factors that Affect the Listening Process Noise Noise Barriers Barriers Memory Memory

15 Factors that Affect the Listening Process Noise - The internal and external distractions that interfere with listening and concentration. Noise - The internal and external distractions that interfere with listening and concentration. -Internal—confusion, stress, excitement, impatience, annoyance -External—too warm/cold, static on phone line, loud talking

16 Factors that Affect the Listening Process Barriers—prevent or block communication. Barriers—prevent or block communication. -External—speech problems, incompatible language, hearing loss -Internal—bias, prejudice, intolerance fear

17 Factors that Affect the Listening Process Memory—The process of retaining or recalling information. Memory—The process of retaining or recalling information. Without memory, there would be no learning. Without memory, there would be no learning. Selective memory Selective memory

18 ListeningSkills

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20 Characteristics of Listening Passive Listening Passive Listening Impatient Listening Impatient Listening Active Listening Active Listening

21 Characteristics of Listening Passive listening - The listener does not actively participate in interactions. Passive listening - The listener does not actively participate in interactions. -Lazy listeners -View communication as a one-way process -Easily bored, ask few questions -No rewards for passive listening

22 Passive Listening Silence can be useful, but... Silence can be useful, but... When there is no verbal response to the person talking, it can be uncomfortable or misinterpreted. When there is no verbal response to the person talking, it can be uncomfortable or misinterpreted. Not intereste d

23 Characteristics of Listening Impatient listening - short bursts of active listening are interrupted by noise and other distractions. Impatient listening - short bursts of active listening are interrupted by noise and other distractions. -Forgets details -Makes mistakes -Tuned out

24 Types of Impatient Listening

25 Characteristics of Listening Active Listening - the listener participates fully in the communication process. Active Listening - the listener participates fully in the communication process. -Listen attentively -Provide feedback -Strive to understand and remember messages

26 Kinds of Listening Critical Critical Deliberative Deliberative Empathetic Empathetic

27 Critical Listening Critical listening - comprehend ideas and information in order to achieve a specific purpose or goal. Critical listening - comprehend ideas and information in order to achieve a specific purpose or goal. Comprehend and understand sender’s message. Comprehend and understand sender’s message.

28 Deliberative Listening Listening to understand, analyze, and evaluate messages so you can accept or reject a point of view, make a decision or take action. Listening to understand, analyze, and evaluate messages so you can accept or reject a point of view, make a decision or take action. Example: Jury deliberation Example: Jury deliberation -Juries use deliberative listening in order to reach decisions on guilt or innocence, as well as sentencing.

29   Observe the speaker’s use of language and nonverbal cues to identify, analyze, and evaluate his or her attitudes or feelings. Then, determine whether these behaviors support or counteract the speaker’s message.   Analyze the speaker’s motivation or intent.   Reflect on your own responses and reasons for accepting or rejecting the speaker’s message.   Form reasoned responses and give appropriate feedback. Delay action if necessary.   Reserve judgment if you are unsure of all the facts.   When you feel you have enough information, make responsible decisions and take prudent action. TIPS FOR DELIBERATIVE LISTENING  Identify your goal or purpose for listening.  If possible, gather information before the listening experience to provide a basis for evaluation, deliberation, and judgment.  Listen specifically to understand, analyze, and evaluate the message.  Organize your listening to grasp the speaker’s claim or idea, the use of supporting information, the reasons to support the speaker’s claim, and the use of emotional appeals and persuasive strategies. TIPS FOR DELIBERATIVE LISTENING  Identify your goal or purpose for listening.  If possible, gather information before the listening experience to provide a basis for evaluation, deliberation, and judgment.  Listen specifically to understand, analyze, and evaluate the message.  Organize your listening to grasp the speaker’s claim or idea, the use of supporting information, the reasons to support the speaker’s claim, and the use of emotional appeals and persuasive strategies.

30 Empathetic Listening Listening to understand, participate in and enhance a relationship. Listening to understand, participate in and enhance a relationship. Goal is to develop understanding and appreciation of the meanings and feelings expressed by a message sender. Goal is to develop understanding and appreciation of the meanings and feelings expressed by a message sender. Empathy is not sympathy. Whereas sympathy is "feeling for someone," empathy is "feeling AS someone." Empathy is not sympathy. Whereas sympathy is "feeling for someone," empathy is "feeling AS someone."

31   Analyze your own responses, feelings, biases, or prejudices toward the speaker, the message, or the situation.   Use personal perception checks such as, “Is this what the speaker really is saying, or is this just what I am hearing and telling myself about the speaker’s message?”   Try to paraphrase the sender’s message.   Ask questions to help the sender clarify his or her meanings and feelings. TIPS FOR EMPATHETIC LISTENING  Listen carefully to the speaker’s words to understand the meaning of the speaker’s message and the feelings he or she is expressing.  Observe the speaker’s nonverbal behaviors to analyze his or her feelings about the listener or the relationship involved and the context of the situation.  Monitor your understanding of the speaker, the message, and the situation. TIPS FOR EMPATHETIC LISTENING  Listen carefully to the speaker’s words to understand the meaning of the speaker’s message and the feelings he or she is expressing.  Observe the speaker’s nonverbal behaviors to analyze his or her feelings about the listener or the relationship involved and the context of the situation.  Monitor your understanding of the speaker, the message, and the situation.

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33 Bad Listening Habits Criticizing the subject or the speaker Criticizing the subject or the speaker Getting over-stimulated Getting over-stimulated Listening only for facts Listening only for facts Not taking notes OR outlining everything Not taking notes OR outlining everything Tolerating or creating distraction Tolerating or creating distraction Letting emotional words block message Letting emotional words block message Wasting time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought Wasting time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought

34 Why don’t we listen? We are busy We are busy Distractions Distractions Thinking of other things Thinking of other things Thinking about what we’ll say next Thinking about what we’ll say next Want to immediately problem-solve Want to immediately problem-solve We think faster than we speak We think faster than we speak

35 Fast Facts We listen at wpm, and think at wpm We listen at wpm, and think at wpm 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful 20% of the time, we remember what we hear 20% of the time, we remember what we hear Less than 2% of people have had formal education with listening Less than 2% of people have had formal education with listening

36 Average Communication Skills Mode of Communication Formal Years of Training Percentage of Time Used Writing 12 years 9% Reading 6-8 years 16 % Speaking 1-2 years 30% Listening 0-few hours 45%

37 Why Be A Good Listener? Needs of the Client… To be recognized and remembered To be recognized and remembered To feel valued To feel valued To feel appreciated To feel appreciated To feel respected To feel respected To feel understood To feel understood To feel comfortable about you To feel comfortable about you

38 ActiveListening

39 Overview What is active listening? What is active listening? Why do we practice it? Why do we practice it? How do we practice it? How do we practice it?

40 Active Listening Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding to others. Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding to others. Focuses on the speaker. Focuses on the speaker. Facilitates common understanding and relationship building - w Facilitates common understanding and relationship building - when relationships are strong, communication flows.

41 Benefits of Active Listening Allows you to make sure you hear the words and understand the meaning behind the words Allows you to make sure you hear the words and understand the meaning behind the words Avoid or clarify misunderstandings Avoid or clarify misunderstandings Build trust Build trust Get others to talk Get others to talk Get more information to be better able to persuade, influence, and negotiate Get more information to be better able to persuade, influence, and negotiate Achieve RAPPORT Achieve RAPPORT

42 The Need for Active Listening Hearing someone merely means that you are aware that he/she has said something Hearing someone merely means that you are aware that he/she has said something Listening to someone means that you: Listening to someone means that you: Give him/her your open and complete attention Give him/her your open and complete attention Try to make sense of what he/she is saying Try to make sense of what he/she is saying Let him/her know that you are trying to understand Let him/her know that you are trying to understand

43 Four Active Listening Techniques Reflective Responses Reflective Responses Requests for Clarification Requests for Clarification Encouragement Encouragement Empathizing Empathizing

44 What must happen first? Know yourself. Know yourself. Understand your communication style. Understand your communication style. Be aware of your non-verbal communication. Be aware of your non-verbal communication. Be aware that the meanings and use of facts and language are subjective. Be aware that the meanings and use of facts and language are subjective.

45 Active Listening (4 Steps) 1. Listen 2. Question 3. Reflect- Paraphrase 4. Agree

46 Step 1: Listen To Feelings As Well As Words To Feelings As Well As Words Words – Emotions -- Implications Words – Emotions -- Implications Focus on Speaker Focus on Speaker Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted What Is Speaker Talking About? What Is Speaker Talking About? Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others? Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?

47 Attention Give the speaker your complete attention, i.e., be quiet and DON’T timeshare! Give the speaker your complete attention, i.e., be quiet and DON’T timeshare! Let the speaker know that you are listening by nodding your head and/or saying that you are following what he/she is saying (e.g., “Uh-huh”, “I understand”, “I see” ) Let the speaker know that you are listening by nodding your head and/or saying that you are following what he/she is saying (e.g., “Uh-huh”, “I understand”, “I see” ) Pay attention to body language Pay attention to body language

48 Attending Posture Nonverbal skill = SOLER S = squarely face person S = squarely face person O = use open posture O = use open posture L = lean toward the person L = lean toward the person E = use eye contact E = use eye contact R = relax, keep it natural R = relax, keep it natural

49 Attitude Remain neutral (non-judgmental) as you listen Remain neutral (non-judgmental) as you listen Don’t give advice, criticize, or interrupt -- unless you are asked Don’t give advice, criticize, or interrupt -- unless you are asked Try to see the point from the speaker’s point of view (i.e., empathize) Try to see the point from the speaker’s point of view (i.e., empathize)

50 Physical Environment Ensure privacy Ensure privacy Minimize interruptions Minimize interruptions Eliminate barriers Eliminate barriers

51 Do Be attentive to the speaker Suspend judgment while you listen Do Be attentive to the speaker Suspend judgment while you listen Don’t Compare one situation with another Rehearse what you will say next Attempt mind-reading Don’t Compare one situation with another Rehearse what you will say next Attempt mind-reading Listen

52 Step 2: Question Ask for more information about some point that you don’t get Ask for more information about some point that you don’t get Ask the speaker to give an example of what he/she is saying Ask the speaker to give an example of what he/she is saying Ask the speaker to clarify some point that is not clear to you Ask the speaker to clarify some point that is not clear to you 3 Purposes 3 Purposes Demonstrates you are listening Demonstrates you are listening Gather information Gather information Clarification Clarification

53 Questioning Skills Ask questions…not too many Ask questions…not too many Avoid “why” questions Avoid “why” questions Ask open-ended questions Ask open-ended questions

54 Active listening involves.... Open-Ended Questions Open-ended questions invite a thought out response – a detailed response  Tell me more.  How did you feel?  Then what happened?  Who was there?  What did they do?  How did that work?

55 Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase Reflect What Is Said (in your words) Reflect What Is Said (in your words) Reflect Feelings Reflect Feelings Reframe Reframe Capture the essence of the communication Capture the essence of the communication Remove negative framing Remove negative framing Move toward problem solving Move toward problem solving

56 The Listening Response Acknowledges what the other person says Acknowledges what the other person says Tests the meaning with the other person Tests the meaning with the other person Encourages the other person to say more Encourages the other person to say more Explores the other person’s perspective Explores the other person’s perspective

57 Restate State in your own words what you think is the speaker’s cognitive message State in your own words what you think is the speaker’s cognitive message Introduce your restatement as your interpretation, not as what the speaker said Introduce your restatement as your interpretation, not as what the speaker said Try to show that you are working to understand, not to point out where he/she is wrong Try to show that you are working to understand, not to point out where he/she is wrong

58 Interpret State in your own words what you think is the speaker’s emotional message State in your own words what you think is the speaker’s emotional message Acknowledge feelings - tell the speaker how strongly he/she feels about the point being made (often expressed by his/her intensity level) Acknowledge feelings - tell the speaker how strongly he/she feels about the point being made (often expressed by his/her intensity level) Give the speaker a chance either to agree with you or to temper his/her feelings about the point he/she just made Give the speaker a chance either to agree with you or to temper his/her feelings about the point he/she just made

59 Active Listening Statements “If I understand you, this is what happened...” “If I understand you, this is what happened...” “You seem to be feeling ” “You seem to be feeling ” “What do you mean?” “What do you mean?” “So what I hear you saying.....” “So what I hear you saying.....” “Let’s go over what you have done so far....” “Let’s go over what you have done so far....”

60 Don’t Judge Attempt to advise Divert Be concerned about being right Placate Don’t Judge Attempt to advise Divert Be concerned about being right Placate Do Reflect back to demonstrate your interest and provide feedback Summarize key points to confirm that you understand Do Reflect back to demonstrate your interest and provide feedback Summarize key points to confirm that you understand Reflect-Paraphrase

61 Step 4: Agree Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It! Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It! Solution Is Near! Solution Is Near!

62 Agreement First try to get agreement from the speaker that you have heard and understood him/her correctly First try to get agreement from the speaker that you have heard and understood him/her correctly Then summarize the points that he/she has made during the conversation Then summarize the points that he/she has made during the conversation And summarize the points with which you agree and those with which you disagree, emphasizing your common ground And summarize the points with which you agree and those with which you disagree, emphasizing your common ground

63 Active listening builds stronger attorney-client relationships …creates a desire to cooperate because the client feels accepted and acknowledged. Active listening facilitates client acceptance and openness …conveys the message that “I am not judging you.” Active listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgment …a way of saying, “You are important.” Active Listening Summary

64 Active Listening In-Class Exercise 1

65 End of The Listening Process, Listening Skills, and Active Listening End of The Listening Process, Listening Skills, and Active Listening


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