1. The Emotion Wheel: Primary and Mixed Emotions
Love
Joy
Acceptance
Joy
Fear
Anticipation
Surprise
Anger
Body Text Types of Emotions: Robert Plutchik’s Emotion Wheel
Primary emotions are: Inside perimeter of wheel. Plutchik suggests that these primary feelings can combine to form other, MIXED EMOTIONS, some of which are listed on the outside
Other mixed emotions are:
Jealousy: distress, anger, contempt, fear, and even shame.
Loneliness: can include anger twoard self and others, estrangement, and depression
Whether you agree with the wheel or not, it suggests many feelings need to be described in more than a single term.
Example
How would I feel? What feelings would I express?
An out-of-town friend has promised to arrive at six. When he hasn’t arrived by 9, you’re convinced -accident. Phone to police,hospitals-friend breezeds in with offhand remark about getting a late start.
You and companion have fight just before leaving for party. Deep inside you know you were mostly to blame, even though you’re not willing to admit. At party your friend leaves you to flirt with several other attractive guests.
Second Level
Third Level
Fourth Level
Fifth Level
Disgust
Sadness
Remorse 1

2. INFLUENCES ON EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION2

3. Influences on Emotional Expression
Culture
Gender
Social Conventions
Social Roles
Inability to Recognize Emotions
Fear of Self-Disclosure 3

4. Culture Collectivist Cultures (e.g. Japan, India)
More apprehensive about relational communication than Americans and Europeans
Prize harmony among members of their “in” group
Discourage expression of negative emotions that might upset relationships among people who belong to it
Frank about expressing negative emotions toward outsiders
Could regard North Americans as overly demonstrative
Certain basic emotions experienced by everyone in the world. Happiness, sadness, surprise, anger, disgust, and fear are universal.Smile and frown known everywhere. 4

5. Culture Individualistic Cultures (U.S., Canada)
Fear of strangers and risky situations more likely to frighten people in the U.S. than in Japan
Feel comfortable revealing their feelings to people with whom they are close
Individualists more likely to hide such emotions as dislike
North Americans might view collectivist Asians as less than candid 5

6. Gender
Research suggests there may be some truth to the cultural stereotype of the unexpressive male and the more demonstrative female.
Women more likely to express feelings of vulnerability, including fear, sadness, loneliness and embarrassment.
Men rarely express the above to male friends, but may open up the the women they love.
From Gendered Lives by Julia Wood 6

7. Gender Difference may also exist in sensitivity to others’ emotions:
Women may have greater ability to recognize emotions that are expressed in the facial expressions, movements, and vocal cues of others.
Gender is not the only variable that affects emotional sensitivity
People generally better at recognizing emotions of members of the same sex
Familiarity with the person leads to greater sensitivity.
Difference in power
Gender differences are statistical averages, and many men and women don’t fit these profiles.
Sensitivity to emotion: Psychologist Robert Rosenthal developed the Profile of Nonverbal Sensitivity (PONS) test to measure ability to recognize emotions expressed in facial expressions, movements, and vocal cues. Women scored significantly higher than men. 7

8. Gender - Women’s Speech Talk is the essence of relationships
Gender - Women’s Speech Talk is the essence of relationships. Women tend to:
match experiences to communicate equality
“I’ve felt the same way.”
show support for others
“I think you did the right thing.”
ask questions for greater understanding
“Tell me more about what happened.”
invite others to speak
“How was your day?” “Tell me about your meeting.”
usually respond in some way to what others say: “Tell me more.” “That’s interesting.” (nod, eye contact)
use more tentative speech with qualifiers
“I’m probably not the best judge of this, but...”
“That was a pretty good movie, wasn’t it?” 8

9. Men’s Speech Men tend to:
give advice
“Don’t let him do that to you.” “You ought to tell him...”
dominate the conversation
boys and men talk more frequently than women
men interrupt to control conversation
express themselves in absolute ways
communicate in general terms, distanced from concrete experiences and feelings
tends not to be highly responsive
“yeah” or “umhmm”
lack of expressed sympathy and understanding
Misunderstandings:
Showing support: George and Martha: Martha says, “I feel so bad for Barbara, and I want to help her, but I don’t know what to do.” George then says, “It’s their problem, not yours. Just butt out and let them settle their own relationship.” Martha explodes, “Who asked for your advice?” George is frustrated and confused. He thought she wanted advice. She wanted comfort. Each is annoyed and unhappy.
Troubles Talk: Read from Gendered Lives, P. 146.
The point of the story: Men speak in a linear manner to get to the point of the story. Women are more likely to focus on details. Men may find women’s way of telling stories wandering and unfocused. Women may think that men leave out all the interesting details.
Relationship Talk: Men are inclined to think a relationship is going all right if you don’t have to talk about it. For women, conversation is a way to affirm closeness. Men communicate to achieve a goal or fix and problem. Women talk to build connections. Men talk to convey information and establish status.
Research suggests that women and men who are androgynous are better communicators-engaging comfortably in both styles. 9

10. Social Conventions
In mainstream U.S. Society unwritten rules of communication discourage direct expression of most emotions
Comfortable with making statements of fact or opinion
Emotions that people share are usually positive.
Communicators reluctant to embarrass
Displays of anger usually suppressed
child raising
work place
personal relationships
Social rules even discourage too much expression of positive feelings 10

11. Social Roles
Sales people taught to smile at customers no matter how obnoxious
Teachers must be rational, instructing students with total impartiality
Students rewarded for asking “acceptable questions, but otherwise being submissive 11

12. Inability to Recognize Emotion
Because of restrictions, many of us lose the ability to feel deeply.
Crying often difficult
Years of denying anger makes the emotion difficult to recognize.
For someone who has never acknowledged love for one’s friends, accepting that emotion is difficult 12

13. Fear of Self-Disclosure
In a society that discourages expression of feelings, emotional self-disclosure can seem risky
Expression of affection might be construed as a romantic invitation
Confession of uncertainty might be viewed as weakness.
Emotional honesty may make others feel uncomfortable
Chance that emotional honesty could be used against you, either out of cruelty or thoughtlessness 13

14. GUIDELINES FOR EXPRESSING EMOTION14

15. Recognize your Feelings
Physiological changes
Nonverbal behavior
Verbal messages 15

16. Choose the Best Language
We suffer from limited emotional vocabularies
Several ways to express a feeling verbally:
Through single words: “I’m angry” (or “depressed,” “curious,”)
By describing what’s happening to you: “My stomach is tied in knots,” “I’m on top of the world.”
By describing what you’d like to do: “I feel like running away,” “I’d like to give you a hug,” “I feel like giving up.”
Emotionally “counterfeit” feelings:
“I feel like (want) to go to the show.” Better: “I’m bored and want to go to the show.”
“I feel like we’ve been seeing too much of each other.” Better: “I think we’ve been seeing too much of each other and I feel confined.”
Our vocabulary for expressing feeling is limited. Ask someone how they’re feeling and they’ll say good, bad, terrible, or great.
MAKE A LIST OF EMOTIONS AS A CLASS. THEN GIVE EMOTION HANDOUT.
Relying on a small vocabulary of feelings is as limiting as using only a few terms to describe color. Ocean/sky/eyes 16

17. Share Mixed Feelings
You might express your anger but overlook the confusion, disappointment, frustration, sadness, or embarrassment that preceded it. 17

18. Recognize the Difference between Feeling and Acting
Because you feel a certain way does not mean you have to act on it
Pretending that nothing is the matter, however, will do nothing to diminish your resentful feelings. 18

19. Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings
Language should refect the fact that you are responsible for your feelings:
Instead of “You’re making me angry,” say, “I’m getting angry.”
Instead of “You hurt my feelings,” say, “I feel hurt when you do that.”
People don’t make us like or dislike them, and believing that they do denies the responsibility each of us has for our own emotions. 19

20. Choose the Best Time and Place to Express Your Feelings
The first flush of a strong feeling is not the best time to speak out.
Wait until you have thought out carefully how you might express yourself in a way that will be heard.
Be sure the recipient of your message is ready to hear you out before you begin. 20

21. Express Your Feelings Clearly
You can often summarize them in a few words --hurt, glad, confused, excited, resentful, etc.
Avoid overqualifying or downplaying your emotions, “I’m a little unhappy” or “I’m pretty excited” or “I’m sort of confused.” 21

22. Express Your Feelings Clearly (Cont’d.)
Avoid expressing feelings in a coded (indirect) manner:
Direct: “I’m lonesome.”
Indirect: “I guess there isn’t much happening, so if you’re not busy, why don’t you drop by?”
People who send coded messages stand less of a chance of having their emotions understood --and their needs met.
Make sure you and your partner understand that your feeling is centered on specific circumstances rather than being indicative of the whole relationship.
Instead of saying, “I resent you,” say, “I resent you when you don’t keep your promises.
Rather than, “I’m bored with you,” say “I’m bored when you talk about money.” 22

23. Feelings and Phrases
Choose a situation from Column A and a receiver from column B.
Create a statement that would effectively express your feelings for this combination.
Column A: Situations
a. You have been stood up for
a date or appointment.
b. The other person pokes fun
at your schoolwork.
c. The other person compli-
ments you on your ap-
pearance, then says, “I
hope I haven’t embar-
rassed you.”
d. The other person gives you
a hug and says, “It’s good
to see you.”
Column B: Receivers
a. An instructor
b. A family member
(You decide which one.)
c. A classmate you don’t
know well
d. Your best friend 23

24. MANAGING DIFFICULT EMOTIONS: Facilitative Debilitative24

25. Facilitative vs. Debilitative
Facilitative contribute to effective functioning
Less intense than debilitative
a little nervousness may improve performance
some anger or irritation may be constructive
a little suspicion can make people more effective communicators
Facilitative of shorter duration
Depression natural after losing a job or after a failed relationship
Life-long grieving over your loss accomplishes nothing
Staying angry for a wrong inflicted years ago punishes yourself. 25

26. STOP DEBILITATIVE FEELINGS!
You Can:
STOP
DEBILITATIVE
FEELINGS! 26

27. THOUGHTS
CAUSE
FEELINGS 27

28. Thoughts cause feelings
It’s common to say that strangers or your boss
makes you nervous like a bee sting causes pain:
Event : Feeling:
Bee sting Physical Pain
Meeting strangers Nervousness
Looking at emotions this way, you seem to have little control over how you feel. But you do: It is not events such as meeting strangers or being jilted by a lover that cause people to feel bad, but rather the beliefs they hold about these events.
Imagine yourself walking by a friend’s house and seeing your friend stick his head out the window and call you a string of vile names. (You supply friend and names.) How would you feel? Probably hurt and upset.
Now imagine that you were passing by a mental institution when the same friend, who was obviously a patient there, shouted the same offensive names at you. Feelings? sadness, pity
From this example you start to see:IT’S THE INTERPRETATIONS PEOPLE MAKE OF AN EVENT, DURING THE PROCESS OF SELF-TALK, THAT DETERMINES THEIR FEELINGS.
Thus the model looks like: NEXT SLIDE (The same principle applies in more common situations-Love) 28

29. Thoughts cause feelings
It’s interpretations people make of an event, during the process of self-talk, that determine their feelings. Thus, a model for emotions, looks like this:
Event Thought Feeling
Being called names “I’ve done something wrong.” hurt, upset
Being called names “My friend must be sick.” concern, sympathy
Hearing, “I love you” “This is a genuine statement.” delight (perhaps) Hearing, “I love you” “S/he’s just saying this anger to manipulate me.”
One study revealed that women are more likely than men to regard expressions of love as genuine statements instead of attributing them to other causes. 29