Presentation on theme: "GENDERED COMMUNICATION PRACTICES"— Presentation transcript:
1 GENDERED COMMUNICATION PRACTICES “Communication between men and women can be like cross cultural communication, prey to a clash of conversational styles” Deborah Tannen (1990)
2 WOMEN’S SPEECH For Most Women Communication is: to establish and maintain relationshipsconversation is for sharing and learning about othersTalk is the essence of relationships
3 EQUALITY Equality between people is generally important try and achieve symmetryoften match experiences“you’re not alone in how you feel“I’ve done the same thing many times”respond and build on each other’s ideasRather than “you-tell-your-idea-then-I’ll-tell-mine,” voices weave together to create conversations.EQUALITY
4 SHOWING SUPPORT Often express understanding & Sympathy “Oh, you must feel terrible”“I think you did the right thing”“I really hear what you are saying”
5 RELATIONSHIP LEVEL Focus on feelings Focus on relationship between communicators rather than contentoften probe to understand feelings“Tell me about what happened?”“How did you feel when it occurred?”“Do you think it was deliberate?”Content is dealt with but also feelings involved.
6 CONVERSATION MAINTENANCE Women’s style is conversational maintenance workefforts to sustain talkoften initiate topics for others“How was your day”“Tell me about your meeting”“Did anything interesting happen on your trip”
7 INCLUSIVITY RESPONSIVENESS usually respond in some fashion verbally and nonverbally more engagedmake other feel valued and included
9 TENTATIVENESS Verbal Hedges Qualifiers “I kind of feel you may be overreacting”Qualifiers“I’m not the best judge of this, but...”Keep Talk Provisional, Tag questions that invite response“That was a pretty good movie, wasn’t it?”“We should get out this weekend, don’t you think?”
10 MEN’S SPEECHGoal of talk is exerting control, preserving independence, and enhancing status.Conversation is the arena for proving oneself & negotiating prestige.
11 Men’s Speech General Tendencies Use talk to establish and defend personal status and ideasWhen comforting, they do so by respecting others independence and avoiding condescending
12 SHOW KNOWLEDGE, SKILL, OR ABILITY Avoid disclosing personal information that might appear weak or vulnerablee.g., someone expresses concern about a relationship with a boyfriend“The way you should handle that is...”“Don’t let him get to you.”“You ought to tell him....”
13 ADVICE Tendency to give ADVICE Instrumental - not feeling, but rather what you should doSuperiority - Maintain controlMen see as “give and take,” Women as lack of concern
14 INSTRUMENTALITYInstrumentality - The use of talk to accomplish instrumental objectivesMen socialized to do things, achieve goalsIn talk this is expressed as problem-solving, getting information, facts, suggesting solutionsThis focus on content works between menShow support in ways learned to do so - solve the problem.
15 CONVERSATIONAL DOMINANCE Men tend to dominate conversations - talk more than womenTalk more frequentlyFor longer durationSelect topic of talkInterrupt moreMen interrupt to control conversationWomen interrupt to show interest, affirm
16 ABSOLUTE, ASSERTIVE TALK Language tends to forceful, direct, authoritativeLess use of hedges and disclaimers
17 ABSTRACT TALK Speak in general terms Fewer concrete experiences More distanced from personal feelingsWorks best in Public situation where theoretical & conceptual, talk is appropriate
18 LESS RESPONSIVE More “minimal response cues” Less sympathy and self-disclosureSympathy seen as sign of condescensionPersonal problems seen as vulnerability
19 Talking about Troubles Woman disappointed in not getting jobMan says, “You shouldn’t feel bad. Lots of people don’t get jobs they want”She thinks, he belittles her experienceHe thinks, he is showing respect by bolstering her independence
20 Talking about Troubles, Cont. Man disappointed is not getting jobWoman says, “Are you okay” What’s bothering you?”He thinks this points out his vulnerabilityShe probes to show she cares
21 RELATIONSHIP TALK WOMEN It’s going fine if there is talk Talk is a process to sustain relationshipTalk is a way to show closeness“We need to talk,” to affirm our caringMENIt’s going fine if there is no need to talkTalk is to solve problemsTalk indicate a problemDuck when she say, “we need to talk”
22 GENDER QUESTIONNAIRE Men talk more than women. T/F T Men are more likely to interrupt women than they are to interrupt other men.Women tend to confront problems more directly and are likely to bring up the problem first.
23 Questionnaire, cont.During conversation men spend more time looking at their partner than women do.FWomen are more alert to nonverbal cues than men are.TGroups that use the male style of sticking to the task get more work done.In general men and women talk about the same things.Women use less personal space than men do.When a man speaks, he is listened to more carefully than a woman, even if the presentation is identical.
24 Questionnaire, cont.In general women speak in a more tentative style than men do.TWomen are more likely than men to disclose personal information.In general men smile more often than women.FWomen are more likely than men to answer questions that are not addressed to them.Women and men are equally emotional when they speak.Men appreciate jokes more than women.
25 Based on Julia Wood’s book Gendered Lives THE ENDBased on Julia Wood’s book Gendered Lives