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Attitudes and the Spiritual Life-026 08-05-07 The Enneagram and The HAM’s: Power HAM Strategies; The 5, 6 and 7.

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Presentation on theme: "Attitudes and the Spiritual Life-026 08-05-07 The Enneagram and The HAM’s: Power HAM Strategies; The 5, 6 and 7."— Presentation transcript:

1 Attitudes and the Spiritual Life The Enneagram and The HAM’s: Power HAM Strategies; The 5, 6 and 7

2 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Healthy Fives on the other hand find a way to enter life, to form relationships and to make meaningful intellectual and personal contributions. They cease to fear being overwhelmed by the world and are thus able to engage it more fully. They cease to fear being overwhelmed by the strength of their own emotions and therefore develop the capacity to give and receive love.

3 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Fives with a Four wing tend to be somewhat more emotionally centered than those with a Six wing and also tend to be more drawn to the arts and humanities. This is hardly a rigid rule however. Fives with a Four wing tend to be attuned to meaning and metaphor as much as to fact and function.

4 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Fives with a Six wing are often systematic thinkers who are drawn to more analytic disciplines than those with a Four wing. And they generally have an extra layer of detachment to their personality as compared to those with a Four wing. They are also more likely to be able to work within a system or to find a place for themselves in the world of business, academia and law than are the more impractical Four wingers.

5 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Five's are generally willing to break with established systems of thought if their own investigations lead in that direction. Thus, their thought systems are sometimes revolutionary. In this regard, consider Darwin, Freud and Marx. Scientific revolutions were likewise inaugurated by the the theories of Newton and Einstein, both Fives.

6 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Fives and Ones are easy to mistype as both are focused on competency and tend to detach from emotions under stress. Ones, however, are much more focused on action and are generally more comfortable taking on leadership roles than are most Fives. Ones are also generally more judgmental of what they perceive to be rule violations or moral lapses than are Fives who tend to adopt more of a "live and let live" attitude when it comes to the petty vices.

7 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Intellectual Threes can sometimes mistype or be mistyped as Fives. In general, Threes are more self-confident, optimistic, image conscious and socially competent than are Fives. Fives tend to be more intellectually innovative, personally idiosyncratic, reclusive and emotionally sensitive than Threes.

8 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Fives, especially with the Four wing, sometimes mistype as Fours. Such Fives recognize that they have strong emotions and don't identify with the often extremely cerebral portrait of type Five. But, Fives, unlike Fours, always retain some degree of discomfort when it comes to the experience and expression of their emotional states. Fives tend to fear emotional overwhelm; Fours to welcome it.

9 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 As Sixes are often intellectual, they sometimes mistype or are mistyped by others as Fives. This is especially likely to occur if the wing is strong. Sixes tend to be more grounded than Fives however and usually form bonds with their fellow humans more readily than do Fives. In addition, Sixes have a much more immediate relationship to their emotions than do Fives whose primary defense is detachment.

10 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Fives can be self-confident, especially in their areas of expertise and Eights can be intellectual and more self-restrained than type descriptions would indicate, so a mistype is possible. Socrates, an Eight, for instance, is frequently mistyped as a Five, and Nietzsche, a Five, has been mistyped as an Eight. But Socrates impressed others as much by his powerful presence as by his intellect, whereas the very sensitive Nietzsche frequently had a hard enough time getting out of bed.

11 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 The mistype between Fives and Nines is a common mistype. Both Nines and Fives are withdrawn types and many Nines are intellectual, so there are some real commonalities. But Nines are generally attracted to thought which offer some sense of comfort and harmony. Fives, on the other hand, are frequently attracted to what disturbs them. More noticeably, Nines tend to relate to a wide variety of people easily and comfortably; this is hardly ever the case with Fives.

12 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Unhealthy Fives become overly enamored of their own systems of thought. They cut themselves off from the world and from human involvement. They become increasingly alienated, and even misanthropic. As they become more and more ungrounded, their thought systems take on a darker and darker tinge. (Timothy McVeigh, Ted Kaczynski and Vladimir Lenin)

13 Attitudes-026LWBC The Enneagram - The 5 Human contact is so overwhelming, and life itself is so terrifying that they try to stay removed. Fives can be stingy with sharing themselves, their emotions, and their energy. This gives people the mistaken impression that they are cold and unfeeling. This is far from the truth, they are actually overly sensitive.

14 Attitudes-026LWBC The Five Striving to be Detached: –The desire to be autonomous, independent, and able to find serenity with your own thoughts. Appraisal Belief: The world demands too much from me and gives me too little. “Ultimately, the only power to which man should aspire is that which he exercises over himself.” Elie Wiesel( ) The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves.William Hazlitt( )

15 Attitudes-026LWBC The Five Developing My Self Concept: I learned to protect myself from intrusive demands and being drained of my resources by becoming private and self- sufficient. I do this by limiting my desires and wants and by accumulating a lot of knowledge. Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD) Let not thy will roar, when thy power can but whisper.Dr. Thomas Fuller( ), Gnomologia, 1732

16 Attitudes-026LWBC The Five My Positive Self Concept: Scholarliness. Being knowledgeable. Thoughtfulness. Calmness in crisis. Being respectful. Keeping confidences. Dependability. Appreciation of simplicity. Self Concept Warning: Strong feelings, especially fear. Feeling that people or circumstances are intrusive or demanding. Feelings of inadequacy and emptiness.

17 Attitudes-026LWBC The Five Appraisal Attribution: I focus on the intellectual domain. Facts. Analysis and compartmentalized thinking. Intrusions or demands on me. Appraisal Attitudes: Observing from a detached stance. Learning all there is to know about a subject. Thinking and analyzing in advance. Dampening and reducing feelings. Self- containment, withdrawing, conserving. Maintaining sufficient privacy, boundaries, and limits.

18 Attitudes-026LWBC The Five Negative Self Concept Triggers (Stress): Failing to maintain sufficient privacy, boundaries, and limits. Becoming fatigued. Having desires, needs, and wants that lead to dependency. Trying to learn everything there is to know before taking action.

19 Attitudes-026LWBC The Five Temptation to Emotional Revolt: Being considered factually incorrect. Demands, intrusions. An overload of emotional input. Not having the opportunity for enough private time to restore my energy. My Emotional Revolt: Self-containment and withholding. Tension and disapproval. Short bursts of temper.

20 Attitudes-026LWBC The Enneagram - The 5 “I have a special relationship with my mind” Fives you may know: Bill Gates, Scrooge, Buddha, T. S. Eliot, John Paul Sartre, Rene Descartes, Timothy McVeigh, Joe DiMaggio, Albert Einstein, H. R. Haldeman, Ted Kaczynski, Johnny Carson, billionaires Howard Hughes, J. Paul Getty, Bill Gates; Jacqueline Onassis and Vladimir Lenin.

21 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 As Fives get healthy, they share more and more and they do especially well when they can share information. Then they can give and still have what they give away! So fives can contribute beautifully to the common good through their wisdom and information.

22 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 In Batman Returns, Bruce Wayne is a reclusive Five, who helps the world by playing an Eight hero, Batman. He uses all his wonderful technology to save the day. Batman is an intellectual, he and the fiendish ones are always engaged in a battle of wits. Fives like that, they win at battles of wits.

23 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 What Bruce Wayne does, professors do daily - they wage war on ignorance, barbarism, bad taste etc. in their young charges. (And they just HATE those days when students can come barging into their offices with all sorts of sticky problems and can stay as long as they need to...)

24 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Bruce Wayne would be a Five with a Six wing (the love of science and technology hints at that) and he is a self-preservation five. Fives with Six wings are your classical nerds. Bill Gates is a Five with a Six wing (and a strong connection to eight - he's ruthless in his drive to amass wealth and power).

25 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 The Self-Preservation subtype of the Five is usually characterized as most like a hermit. They are intensely sensitive, so they build extra strong boundaries and the Self-Preservation Five builds their boundaries physically. One way other people drain a Self-Preservation Five's energy is through their expectations. The acute sensitivity of the SP Five senses what the other person wants and feels obliged to respond to their wants and expectations.

26 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 All Fives love privacy and none more than the SP Five. All fives tend to compartmentalize their life, having friends who do not know each other, having a strong relationship but not thinking about that person for long periods of time because they're thinking about something else. The Self-Preservation Five tends to physically act this out a bit more, hiding in books and removing themselves from social engagements for long periods.

27 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Even though Self-Preservation Fives are usually quite introverted, they can often be pulled into a social role if that is expected of them. These are the fives who can live in their rooms for long periods of time. A library can be heavenly. Lots of quiet (enforced, too!) and lots of information around.

28 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 The SP Five will have to physically isolate him or herself in order to let strong feelings emerge into awareness. Only when they are alone can they trust these feelings not to get them into trouble. They must protect themselves from invasion in the emotional realm. Like all SP's they tend to worry more than the other two subtypes.

29 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 The Social Five Social Five may seem like an oxymoron, a contradiction in terms, but Fives have their social subtype just like all the rest of the numbers. In any fixation that practices detachment, the detachment is for the sake of superiority (Power). The reason people withdraw is to establish themselves as independent, not needing others.

30 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Anyone who can get along without other people feels superior to them, and "ordinary" folk tend to look up to people who can "go it alone." We often attribute great wisdom to them. Literature is full of wise old men or women who live alone in the woods.

31 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 They spend their time thinking, while we are practicing commerce or one of the other mundane activities of life. They are spiritually superior.

32 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 The superiority might not be entirely intellectual. A Social Five, like Johnny Carson, has an unerring sense of what needs to be laughed at. Humor is distancing. The person making the jokes is the person on top, in control - the person with the Power.

33 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Now, the problem for the Social Five is to be superior while still somehow in the group. A common way they do this is by joining a group that is itself superior. Mensa (the elite group of high IQ people to whom you can belong if you can prove you have a 140 IQ or better) was probably started by a 5. At any rate, IQ scores measure what Fives do best.

34 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 They love to belong to a group that shares superior information. The ideal job for a Social Five is editor of a newsletter that only goes to 32 people, and these 32 people are the only people in the world in this field of high level arcane research. And they never meet, they only communicate through the newsletter.

35 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 The Social Five does not care what the “everybody” thinks, but they are intensely concerned about their position in the elite group. The question is what do the people who matter think? Social Fives are often a bit more extroverted than the other two subtypes, but the extroversion usually shows up when they are dealing with information.

36 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Social Fives can work within an organization or community, but they require a lot of autonomy. The faculty member who fusses and fumes over all the paperwork and social obligations of teaching, who resents faculty meetings, but nevertheless wants to be invited to a symposium on marine microbiology as an expert could easily be a Social Five.

37 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 The autonomy is also for the sake of self- sufficiency. When you combine self-sufficiency with distance, you get hierarchy. Not necessarily a political hierarchy, but a hierarchy of whose opinions are the most valuable. In an organization, fives can work with others, but a private office is pure gold.

38 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Fives often flourish in academia where intellectual prowess is valued, where research is valued more highly than teaching, where bureaucracies are kept at arms length by tradition or policy and where one's social needs can be met by exchanging information.

39 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 This exchange can be in the form of teaching, but it can also be sharing research or publishing. The function of the group is not so to provide support or pleasant companionship, it serves rather to establish identity. The Social Five is concerned about where he or she stands in the group.

40 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Is their work, their intelligence, adequately respected? Respect is more important than love; respect means power, love only means appreciation. This can flip, however. If a Social Five cannot achieve independence, they may become abjectly concerned about their relationships, especially romantic and family relationships.

41 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Social Fives will probably be friendly. They feel distant, not hostile. So if you have something real to talk to them about, they will be fine conversationalists. But they don't like small talk and you can see them fade from the conversation. Actually, what you feel is yourself fading from their view.

42 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 They can be fierce snobs. Civilized, proper, but several steps above the mundane and ordinary, especially in the quality of their information and their judgments about complex matters. Like all of us, Sexual Fives are polarized about a central issue. The central issue for Five is boundaries. They are protective of their boundaries because they are hypersensitive.

43 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Sexual Fives tend to remember brief, intimate, torrid love affairs forever. They are replayed in the mind and are always a source of emotional charge. Rehearse and replay are general Five characteristics. The Sexual subtype chooses intimacy as the content of his rehearse and replay.

44 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Sexual Fives can have deeply intimate relationships without romance. One can be a behind-the-scenes advisor and confidant. Fives would have no trouble advising the president of the firm and having a profound love affair with him and never letting those two worlds meet.

45 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 When an intimate Five has shared deeply, they can go for long periods of time without communication. They are like camels that drink deeply of intimacy and then go for weeks without drinking again. Emotional experiences "keep" in the Five's retentive mind, so they don't have to enter the outside world for more experiences.

46 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Chernick notes that "The Five tendency to keep emotionally-charged relationships separated from each other lends itself to a kind of lust for intense, brief, highly meaningful encounters." Keep in mind how mental the Five is. Their way of making contact is through information.

47 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 That's why we have so many professorial Fives. They may be totally unknown to their students, but the professor is sharing themselves when they share their ideas. Now transfer this to an intimate setting. When a Five starts to share themselves, they will lead with information.

48 Attitudes-026LWBC The 5 Now the information is intimate. It won't be small talk, it will be thoughtful, detailed and will be information that tells you about their inner self. In sex, lies and video tape, James Spader gets his friend's wife to talk about sex almost immediately. No small talk, no information about extraneous matters. He wants intimate information. And when he gets it, he is turned on.

49 Attitudes-026LWBC The Sexual Five James Spader plays a Sexual subtype Five. You can notice the pronounced polarity. On the one hand, he is close mouthed, uncommunicative and seeking privacy, like any Five. On the other hand, he is alone with his friend's wife (Andi McDowell) for only minutes and he is talking extremely intimately with her. They discuss sex clinically, like a good Five would like, but it is also more than clinically.

50 Attitudes-026LWBC The Sexual Five This is the polarity in a Sexual Five. Tom Condon remarks they can "go from enigmatic, deliberate distance to intense unguarded openness.” This flip flop is an indication of the Five's ambiguous feelings about boundaries.

51 Attitudes-026LWBC The Sexual Five It is precisely because they reveal themselves so totally that they keep such high fences. In sex, lies and videotapes, the very Fivish Spader gets women to reveal secrets. That's the currency of intimacy for the Sexual subtype of Five. Intimate Fives don't share intimately with more than one or two persons. Key disclosures are the centerpiece of the relationship.

52 Attitudes-026LWBC The Sexual Five What Fives lack in breadth they make up in depth and they share totally with one or at the most two people. (Their sexual sharing is very complete and can become a little kinky as they explore how much can be shared). However, sexual sharing is usually accompanied by sharing of inner feelings and thoughts - especially thought.


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