1. Social Skills for Success Melinda Cardone, Program Manager Independent Living Resource Center, Inc. Jefferson City, MO

2. Learning Objectives Participants will be able to define social skills/soft skills. Participants will be able to describe at least three ways social skills benefit them. Participants will be able to describe how social skills fit into the workplace. Participants will learn about and practice three communication social skills. Meeting Someone New Listening Conversing

3. What are Social Skills? Social Skills or Soft Skills Personal Attributes Used to communicate and interact with each other Verbal and non-verbal How do you get social skills? Find training Look online Practice

4. Why do I need Social Skills? Benefits to You Improved Relationships Better Communication Greater Efficiency Advancing Career Prospects Increased Overall Happiness Benefits to an Employer People are more willing to help each other Save time More productive

5. What Soft Skills do Employers Look For? Communication Written, Oral, and Nonverbal Listening Active Listening Relationships Working Within a Team Manage Conflict Network Leading Any Employee at Any Level Observe Practice Set an Example Initiative Enthusiasm Development of Skills

6. Communication Speaker encodes a message (what speaker says or writes) Listener decodes a message (What listener hears) Feedback (What listener thinks speaker means) Speaker confirms message is understood (what speaker does mean)

7. Communication: Meaning of a Message What percentage of each of these components contribute to the meaning of a message? _____ %Words _____ %Non-Verbals _____ %Body Language

8. Communication Helpers The Source – Planning Your Message Encoding – Creating a Clear, Well Crafted Message Choosing the Right Channel Decoding – Receiving and Interpreting a Message Feedback

9. Communication Hindrances Noisy environment Negative attitude Poor listening Closed mind Unclear enunciation Uninteresting subject matter Speaking too fast Making assumptions Speak too softly Unfamiliar vocabulary Sentences too complex

10. Non-Verbal Communication Body Language: The gestures, postures, and facial expressions by which a person manifests various physical, mental, or emotional states and communicates nonverbally with others. As you observe others, you can identify some common signs and signals that give away whether they are feeling confident or not. As well as deciphering other people’s body language, you can use this knowledge to convey feelings that you’re not actually experiencing.

11. Social Skills: Verbal Communication Meeting Someone New Listening Conversing

12. Social Skill: Meeting Someone New Introducing Yourself When Keep it simple; “Hello, I am Melinda.” Identify yourself; “I’m the Program Manager with Independent Living Resource Center.” Introducing Others Speak to the person you wish to honor first. Present the other person to them Use courteous language “I’d like to introduce…”, “I’d like you to meet…”. Use Preferred Names and Titles Mr., Mrs., Dr., etc.

13. Social Skill: Meeting Someone New Shaking Hands When You are introduced to someone You say goodbye to someone At the beginning or the end of meetings It seems appropriate within a business context How Extend right hand straight Grasp firmly Keep hand perpendicular to ground Shake once, at most twice Maintain eye contact State your greeting

14. Practice 1. Introduce yourself to two new individuals in the room. 2. Introduce one of your new contacts to the other. 3. Don’t forget to shake their hand!

15. Social Skill: Listening To listen is to make an effort to hear something; to pay attention to, heed. (www.thefreedictionary.com)www.thefreedictionary.com Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk. -Doug Larson

16. Social Skill: Listening Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others. We listen to obtain information. We listen to understand. We listen for enjoyment. We listen to learn.

17. Social Skill: Listening SOLER Approach S ---- Squarely face O ---- Open posture L ---- Lean forward slightly E ---- Eye Contact R ---- Relax

18. Social Skill: Listening Reflections – statements that express the meaning of what was just heard. Examples: “So” or “It sounds like” Summaries – provide an opportunity to structure the conversation. Examples: “Let me see if I understand…”, “Let me see where we’re at…” Affirmations – statements that make people feel good, build collaboration, and encourage others. Examples: “I really like your perspective on…”

19. Practice 1. Find a partner 2. Partner A discusses his or her last vacation experience. 3. Partner B listens intently, doing everything he or she can to convey active, interested listening using the SOLER approach. 4. After 2 minutes, switch roles and repeat the exercise.

20. Social Skill: Conversing Engaging in conversation. Exchanging information verbally. Dialogue, not a monologue. Are you really listening, or are you just waiting for your turn to speak? -John Milton Fogg

21. Social Skill: Conversing Starting a Conversation Greet the other individual(s). Face the person Establish eye contact Make small talk. Things that interest the other person Continuing the Conversation Is the other person listening? Eye contact Body language

22. Social Skill: Conversing Asking Questions Open Questions are “open-ended” when they are phrased in such a way that they cannot be answered “yes” or “no”. Example: “How do you feel about this?” Closed Questions are “closed-ended” when they are phrased so that they can be answered “yes”, “no” or with a “fact”. Example: “Where did it happen.” Respond Appropriately: Feedback Be candid, open, and honest in your response. Assert your opinions respectfully. Treat the other person in a way that you think he or she would want to be treated.

23. Practice 1. Find a new partner. 2. Person 1 describes their dream job to person 2. 3. Person 2 use conversation skills: active listening, asking questions, feedback, etc. 4. After 2 minutes switch roles and repeat the exercise.

24. Wrap Up/Key Points Social skills are an important piece of being successful in employment and daily life. Employers do look for social skills; especially communication skills. Social skills include: Meeting Others Listening Conversing

25. What have you done today? Learned what Social or Soft Skills are. Met at least 4 new people. This is NETWORKING! Practiced three social skills. NOW WHAT?!?!

26. Challenge Introduce yourself to one new person by the end of dinner and learn three things about them using your listening and conversing skills. How does this challenge make you feel? What barriers are there to you completing this challenge? How will you deal with these feelings? How can we overcome these barriers?

27. Resources MindTools: www.MindTools.comwww.MindTools.com Centers for Independent Living: www.mosilc.orgwww.mosilc.org Independent Living Resource Center, Inc.: Melinda Cardone, Program Manager 573-556-0400 melinda@ilrcjcmo.org www.ilrcjcmo.org