1. 1 Florida 4-H Leadership Series Communications The activities in this lesson are taken from Unlock Your Leadership Potential, Leader’s Guide, Florida 4-H Program

2. 2 “Communication is the single most important leadership skill.” Lin Bothwell The Art of Leadership

3. 3 Leadership is Enacted Through Communication Communication Oriented Responsive and receptive to questions from participants Ask and persuade rather than order or command Explain the reasons behind changes and policies

4. 4 Types of Communication Speaking Listening Non Verbal Writing

5. 5 Communication Apprehension Group Discussions Public Speaking One on One Formal Meetings

6. 6 Talking Terror Interpreting Your Score Low CA: Overall score is less than 55. Low CA’s talk a great deal; they even talk with people when they are not particularly motivated to talk. High CA: Overall score is greater than 83. High CA’s are more withdrawn in conversation and appear tense and shy. Moderate CA: Overall score is between 55 and 83. Moderate CA’s recognize that at times there are times to talk and times when they should not talk. Their level of participation in conversation varies.

7. 7 Listen To Me! Activity Listener Evaluator Solution-Seeker

8. 8 Show interest. Be understanding of the other person and use words such as “I see” or “I understand” to confirm your understanding. If there is a problem, listen for the cause and single it out. Help person associate problem with the cause. Encourage the speaker to develop ability and desire to solve his or her own problem. Learn to be silent. Restate what the speaker has said to let him or her know you are listening. End the conversation by repeating and confirming what has been discussed. Concentrate intently on the speaker. Practice reinforcing nonverbal behaviors, such as leaning forward, establishing and maintaining eye contact, etc. Be alert and attentive. Imagine yourself in this person’s place.

9. 9 Good Listening Is An Active Skill Observing – what one does Hearing – what one says and how one says it Feeling – how one is feeling Sensing – what one has not said, but wishes to or means to say

10. 10 Listening Skills 1. Have a purpose or reason for listening. 2. Ask questions. 3. Provide speaker with verbal and nonverbal feedback 4. Be aware of your attitudes towards the speaker and attempt to listen objectively. 5. Wait before responding. Do not formulate your response while the speaker is delivering the message.

11. 11 6. Listen with your eyes as well as your ears. 7. Listen for feelings as well as information. 8. Look for important themes. 9. Avoid imposing your values on the speaker. Listen in a non-judgmental way. 10. Overlook negative aspects of the speaker’s delivery which might interfere with your understanding the message.

12. 12 Nonverbal & Verbal Cues Uh.. Um..

13. 13 I/You Messages YOU I

14. 14 Change the following You messages to a more positive I message. 1.You never call me.1. I wish you would call me more often. 2.You don’t listen to me!2. 3.Everyone here hates me!3. 4.That’s a dumb idea.4. 5. No one does anything here.5. 6.You annoy me, go away!6. 7.Leave me alone!7. 8. You lied to me.8. 9.Who invited you!9. 10.You did a horrible job.10. 11.You make me so mad.11. 12.You are so inconsiderate!12. Sometimes I feel I am not being listened to. I sometimes feel people dislike me. Maybe we could try a different idea. Let’s everyone work hard together. I need some time to myself right now. I feel that you don’t have time for me anymore. Is something wrong? I don’t think that I was told the complete truth. I didn’t know you were coming. I think you can do a little better. I get angry at you sometimes when you… Sometimes I think you don’t consider how I feel.

15. 15 Discussion Leadership Qualities of the Leader Interest in the topic Able to involve everyone in the discussion Able to balance the viewpoints Has a basic plan, but is flexible Directs the discussion, keeps focus on goals

16. 16 Review – Communications That Empower Active Listening. Asking for more information. Paraphrasing. Checking your assumptions about the other person’s feelings. Sharing information to help the other person understand your point of view. Reporting your own feelings. Offering alternatives. Vineyard & Lynch: Secrets of Leadership

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18. 18 Talking Terror Indicate in the space provided the degree to which you agree or disagree with each statement by noting whether you: 5 Strongly Disagree; 4 Disagree; 3 Are Undecided; 2 – Agree; 1 – Strongly Agree. There are no right or wrong answers. Work quickly to record your first impression. You do not have to answer any question you do not wish to answer. ___ 1. I dislike participating in group discussions. ___ 2. Generally, I am comfortable while participating in group discussion. ___ 3. I am tense and nervous while participating in group discussions. ___ 4. I like to get involved in group discussions. ___ 5. Engaging in group discussion with new people makes me tense and nervous. ___ 6. I am calm and relaxed while participating in group discussions. ___ 7. Generally, I am nervous when I have to participate in a meeting. ___ 8. Usually I am calm and relaxed while participating in meetings. ___ 9. Usually, I am calm and relaxed when I am called on to express an opinion at a meeting ___ 10. I am afraid to express myself at meetings. ___ 11. Communicating at meetings usually makes me uncomfortable. ___ 12. I am very relaxed when answering questions at a meeting. ___ 13. While participating in a conversation with a new acquaintance, I feel very nervous. ___ 14. I have no fear of speaking up in conversations. ___ 15. Ordinarily, I am very tense and nervous in conversations. ___ 16. Ordinarily, I am very calm and relaxed in conversations. ___ 17. While conversing with a new acquaintance, I feel very relaxed. ___ 18. I’m afraid to speak up in conversations. ___ 19. I have no fear of giving a speech. ___ 20. Certain parts of my body feel very tense and rigid while I am giving a speech. ___ 21. I feel very relaxed while giving a speech. ___ 22. My thoughts s become confused and jumbled when I am giving a speech. ___ 23. I face the prospect of giving a speech with confidence. ___ 24. While giving a speech, I get so nervous that I forget facts I really know.

19. 19 Talking Terror Score Sheet This score sheet will help you compute an overall communication apprehension score and a summary of your apprehension in four specific situations: group, meeting, dyadic (one on one), and public. Group Score: Question 2 ___ Meeting Score: Question 8 ___ +Question 4 ___ + Question 9 ___ +Question 6 ___ + Question 12 ___ Total ___ Total ___ - Question 1 ___ - Question 7 ___ - Question 3 ___ - Question 10 ___ - Question 5 ___ - Question 11 ___ Total ___ Total ___ Add 18 Add 18 Final Score ___ Final Score ___ Dyadic Score: Question 14 ___ Public Score: Question 19 ___ +Question 16 ___ +Question 21 ___ +Question 17 ___ +Question 23 ___ Total ___ Total ___ -Question 13 ___ -Question 20 ___ -Question 15 ___ -Question 22 ___ -Question 18 ___ - Question 24 ___ Total ___ Total ___ Add 18 Add 18 Final Score ___ Final Score ___ Overall Communication Apprehension (CA) = Add your group, meeting, dyadic, and public scores. Overall CA Score = ____

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