Self Observation and Deep Feeling Exercise – Note the details in black in your observation Thoughts/Rationale for your response Feelings Physical Sensations Event Trigger Resulting Behavior(Habit) (energy, tension, tightness, warmth, numbness anger, anxiety, joy, excitement Observable as language (stories, interpretation, justification, etc.) Reward!
FEELINGS HAVE INTELLIGENCE Gifts we gain when we own our feelings
Current Thoughts without judgment Adult FeelingsGifts we gain when we feel and own these feelings My husband doesn’t spend time with me. I get angry with him. I do not like being lonely. Lonely, aloneHelps me to reach out to others- reach in to know myself Joy, well beingHelps me grow I wish to connect with her but she doesn’t want to speak with me. Being rejected like that feels painful to me. PainIncreases my ability to heal, face reality, regrow SadnessDevelop empathy- to care for myself and others Anger(Adult) not rageEnergizes my inner power, validates our right to be treated with respect and dignity I feel really scared when I hear people screaming. I get really anxious about the future FearStrengthens self protection and boundaries. Makes me call out to Krsna LoveExtends my ability to give unconditional nurturing Oh I feel awful, I made a mistake again. ShameHumility, a sense of human ness, I can make mistakes
Current Thoughts without Judgment Adult EmotionGifts we gain when we feel and own these feelings ExhilarationPositive Energy, power to persist until I succeed GuiltHelps me set limits and have adult standards- gives me the energy and ability to make amends to others I am happy that I was able to help them well. WorthwhileHelps me grow my self esteem WorthlessMakes me more ready to grow and climb upwards I am so confused right now. I cannot make sense of this situation. It is hard to remain in this confusion and not know what step to take ConfusedGives me the ability to understand other people’s confusion and the willingness to seek clarity for my own beliefs DevastatedHelps me connect with my deepest core pain and my wounded inner child and to learn how to nurture them safely in grown up ways
How do you feel about yourself or others in the situation?
Self –Acceptance is being and neutral and compassionate. I am tiny and imperfect, yet lovable. Krsna loves me unconditionally- I will make the change because I wish to reciprocate with His love I did it because she triggered me. Its not my fault How could I do something so stupid? Hmm. That was not very nice of me to respond like that. I really hurt her. She must have felt terrible I lovingly accept myself with my imperfect parts. I don’t have to convince myself or others that I was perfect in responding in the wrong way. I care for myself. I lovingly accept myself with my imperfect parts. I don’t have to convince myself or others that I was perfect in responding in the wrong way. I care for myself.
Step 2:Self Acceptance – Don’t beat yourself up – Don’t cover for yourself – Be neutral and compassionate!! I am tiny, imperfect and lovable I deeply care for myself, my relationship with Krishna – Krsna is loving, He accepts us completely with all our faults – Compassionate to my own myself- accepting myself in that situation then from the platform I can bring about some change. – E.g. If we hurt someone but they still love us, then we are inspired to make a change so we do not hurt them again. E.g parents love their child anyway- so the child feels the impetus to change. Am I comfortable with myself being imperfect? Can I tolerate myself with my imperfect parts?
Step 2:Self Acceptance From Acceptance comes Transformation Self AcceptanceHumility Impetus to Change our belief system/thoughts
THE NEED FOR PRAYER AND SURRENDER Activating the natural internal pause button
Bg 2.62Bg 2.62 — While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from lust anger arises. Bg 2.63 — From anger, complete delusion arises, and from delusion bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and when intelligence is lost one falls down again into the material pool. Bg 2.63
Step 4:Prayer We feel humbled by our behavior. We find this internal work very hard to do on our own We cry out the Holy Names so Krsna protects us from ourselves Self AcceptanceHumility Impetus to Change Really cry out to Krsna for help
Bg 2.64 — But a person free from all attachment and aversion and able to control his senses through regulative principles of freedom can obtain the complete mercy of the Lord. Bg 2.64 Bg 2.65 — For one thus satisﬁed [in Kṛṣṇa consciousness], the threefold miseries of material existence exist no longer; in such satisﬁed consciousness, one’s intelligence is soon well established. Bg 2.65 Bg 2.66 — One who is not connected with the Supreme [in Kṛṣṇa consciousness] can have neither transcendental intelligence nor a steady mind, without which there is no possibility of peace. And how can there be any happiness without peace? Bg 2.66
Ananda Maya(Complete bliss) Vijnana Maya(Transcendental Knowledge) Mano Maya/Jnana Maya(Mind- mental speculation) Prana Maya(Life Air)Anna Maya(Food) To know we are spirit soul servant of Krishna We understand we are not the body, but the soul, we are separate from the thinking feeling and willing. But we do not know we are servant of Krishna Platform of the mind. Philosophical inquiry is a step above concerns for the pressing matters of life. The thoughtful person rises above the masses to the stage called jnana-maya. After this one lives in the consciousness of being alive. If one can continue his life without being attacked or destroyed, one thinks himself happy.. Our thoughts focus on work, family, friends, politics, entertainment, and so on In the beginning of life, every living entity is food conscious. A child or an animal is satisfied only by getting nice food. This stage of consciousness, in which the goal is to eat sumptuously, is called anna-maya Thinking, Feeling and willing is limited to the body and its effects. Thus we create different bodies for enjoyment! Thinking, Feeling and Willing is about pleasing Krsna and His devotees Material Pool
STEP 5:PATIENCE Enthusiasm and Determination utsāhān niścayād dhairyāt tat-tat-karma-pravartanāt saṅga-tyāgāt sato vṛtteḥ ṣaḍbhir bhaktiḥ prasidhyati There are six principles favorable to the execution of pure devotional service: (1) being enthusiastic, (2) endeavoring with conﬁdence, (3) being patient, (4) acting according to regulative principles [such as śrava ṇ a ṁ kīrtana ṁ vi ṣṇ o ḥ smara ṇ am – hearing, chanting and remembering K ṛṣṇ a], (5) abandoning the association of nondevotees, and (6) following in the footsteps of the previous ācāryas. These six principles undoubtedly assure the complete success of pure devotional service.
We sometimes see previously hidden aspects of our own makeup, of our personality and character. – Often these aspects were hidden only from us and not from others. These shocking new glimpses of ourselves, these realizations that we are not exactly who we thought we were, may bring disappointment. They arise naturally as a result of our inner work and present us with a choice. – We may wallow in self-pity and self-hatred and, thereby, short-circuit the process of practice. Or we may simply accept that the good in us exists alongside the not-so-good, and practice with renewed vigor toward transformation. – Not necessarily seeking to change the details of our personality, but rather seeking to change our being. As we do this internal work……..
The Holy Name and the processes of devotional service bring us to the Lotus Feet of Krsna. As a by product they remove all the causes of suffering and distress. The techniques discussed here can support our devotional practices and the chanting of the Holy Names.