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Published bySarah Gallegos Modified over 10 years ago
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Unproductive Core Beliefs Dr. Roe Cal Baptist University 2010 ©
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Its bad to think well of myself… I cant be happy unless a certain condition – like success, money, love, approval, or perfect achievement – is met…
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Ineffective Paradigms I cant feel worthwhile unless a certain condition is met. I am entitled to happiness (or success, health, self-respect, pleasure, love) without having to work for it. One day when I make it, Ill have friends and be able to enjoy myself. Work should be hard and in some way unpleasant. Joy is only gained through hard work. I am inadequate…
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Continuing… Worrying insures that I will be prepared to face and solve problems. So the more I worry, the better. Life should be easy. I cant enjoy it if there is problems. The past makes me unhappy. There is no way around it. Theres a perfect solution and I must find it. If people disapprove of me, it means I am inferior, wrong, or no good. If I try hard enough, all people will like me. If I try hard enough, my future will be happy and trouble free… Life muse be fair. It doesnt matter anyway – translated…I dont matter.
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The I Am… Not… List 10 Afraid… List 10 Working on…
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Injunctions What decisions have you made up about the program… What story did you make up about the event? You attach the meaning… There is no inherent significance in ANYTHING!
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Dont make mistakes! Possible decisions: I am scared of making the wrong decision, so I simply wont decide. Because I made a dumb choice, I wont decide on anything ever again. I better be perfect if I hope to be accepted
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Dont Be The basic message – I wish you hadnt been born… Possible decisions: I will keep trying until I get you to love me If things get terrible, I will kill myself
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Dont be close Related to Dont trust and Dont love Possible decisions: I loved once and it backfired – never again! Because it is scary to get close, Ill keep myself distant.
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Dont be Important If you are constantly discounted when you speak… Possible decision: If, by chance, I ever do become important, Ill play down my accomplishments…
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Dont be a child… Always act adult, dont be childish and make a fool of yourself – keep control of yourself Possible decisions: Ill take care of others and wont ask much of myself. I wont let myself have fun.
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Dont grow… This message is given by the frightened parent who discourages the child from growing up in many ways… Possible decisions: Ill stay a child, and that way I will get my parents to approve of me… I wont be sexual, and that way my Father wont punish and push me away.
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Dont succeed… Possible decisions: Ill never do anything perfect enough, so why try? Ill succeed, even if it kills me. If I dont succeed, then I will not have to live up to high expectations others have for me.
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Dont be you… This involves suggesting to children that they are the wrong sex, shape, size, color, or have ideas or feelings that are unacceptable to parental figures… Possible decisions: They would love me only if I were a boy (girl), so its impossible to get their love. I will pretend to be a boy (girl).
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Dont be sane/Dont be well Possible decisions I will get sick and then I will be included I am crazy.
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Dont Belong… This injunction may indicate that a family feels that the child does not belong anywhere… Possible decisions: Ill be a loner forever… I will never belong anywhere…
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Alcoholic Families Dont Talk Dont Trust Dont Feel Translates to future relationships Programs very powerful Manifested later in life
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