1. Conflict Management Leadership Development for Real Estate Management Professionals An IREM ® Workshop

2. Have you read the IREM White Paper on Conflict Management? Q&AQ&A

3. Today’s agenda  Recognize why conflict isn’t all bad  Discover 5 basic strategies to manage conflict  Handle difficult people effectively  4 mistakes not to make  Tactics to manage conflict POSITIVELY!

4. What causes conflict? Q&AQ&A

5. Conflict occurs when people’s concerns appear incompatible and their goals contrast. QUOTES Source: Introduction to Conflict Management by Kenneth W. Thomas

6. Studies show... 60-80% of organizational issues come from difficulties in work relationships. Source: Managing Differences: How to Build Better Relationships At Work and Home by Daniel Dana, 2005, 4 th Ed. How much time does it cost?

7. How is conflict at work valuable? Conflict at work

8. Conflict can...  Result in more high quality decisions  Lead to learning & innovation  Reduce tension and strengthen teamwork  Resolve key issues

9. If we manage conflict constructively, we harness its energy for creativity and development. QUOTES Source: Workplace Wars and how to End Them: Turning Personal Conflicts Into Productive Teamwork by Kenneth Kaye

10. PositiveNegative Improved critical thinking and creativity Poorer communication Clarified thoughts and feelingsResistance to teamwork/less collaboration Better decision-making and problem- solving Poorer decision-making (issues remain hidden) Key issues surfacedNegative feelings Improved understanding of othersStress Catalyst for changePolitical backstabbing/revenge Increased effort and productivityReduced productivity Possible effects of conflict

11. Barriers to successful conflict management  Focusing on the symptoms  Resolving problems for the team  Resentfulness

12. Styles of conflict management

13. When to use the competing style  Quick action required  Important issues  Compromise isn’t possible  The last resort

14.  When you are wrong  To create “good will”  To develop others  When retreating is wise When to use the accommodating style

15.  Time constraints  Lack of trust for collaboration  Temporary solution while exploring collaborative solutions  Other party refuses to collaborate When to use the compromising style

16.  Issue is of low importance  Buying time  Reduce tensions  Need a better time and place When to use the avoiding style

17.  Consensus & commitment is important  Build a foundation for future collaboration  Need to meet everyone’s interests  Need to repair relationships  Whenever you can! When to use the collaborating style

18. CHECKLIST Tactics to manage conflict positively 1.Prepare 2.People vs. Problem 3.Consider SBI 4.Use mental jiujitsu 6.Encourage creativity 5.Highlight what you agree on

19. Prepare  Self Awareness  What’s troubling you, what is your real interest  What might you be doing to escalate the conflict  Social Awareness  What’s troubling them, what is their real interest  What are they doing to escalate the conflict

20.  Conflict creates strong emotions  Don’t assume “evil intent”  Separate “people” vs “problem” issues, but deal with both  Use a “Virgin Eye” Separate the people from the problem

21. Communication Techniques  Poor communication = greater conflict  Use SBI Model to diffuse emotions

22. SBI Model S ituation When and where did it happen B ehavior What did the person do I mpact What were the results of the behavior (keep to the facts) Take the emotion out of your communication

23. Example: SBI Model Situation “I was looking at the budget forecast you submitted last Friday.” Behavior “The analysis you provided on the numbers was very concise and well supported by the facts.” Impact “I was very impressed by your work, and I think you can handle some additional duties.”

24. Avoid pitting your strength against theirs directly; instead, use your skill to step aside and turn their strength to your ends. QUOTES

25.  If pushed, do not push back  When they assert their positions, do not reject them  When they attack your ideas, don’t defend them  When they attack you, don’t counterattack  Sidestep their attack and deflect it against the problem. Mental Jiujitsu

26.  Find common interests  List points of agreement  Break disagreements into “smaller” conflicts  Any progress is good progress Highlight areas of agreement

27. What inhibits creativity and collaboration? Q&AQ&A

28. Encourage Collaboration  Seemingly contrasting goals may not be mutually exclusive  Don’t “divide the pie,” make it bigger!

29. Foster creativity  Use a variety of approaches  Incorporate key behaviors  Consider development tactics

30. Dos and Don’ts Source: SHRM, Society for Human Resource Management Do Address the conflict quickly Focus on the problem Be open to solutions Acknowledge the other person’s feelings Recognize mistakes Don’t Focus on personality traits Interrupt Attack Disregard the other person’s feelings Email

31. Development tactics 1. Ask others 2. Take inventory 3. Get feedback 4. Keep a log 5. Take action 6. Go to lunch

32. Q UESTIONS ?

33. Material in this workshop is drawn from the IREM White Paper on Conflict Management This instructive series of white papers teaches you the core competencies and best practices you need to lead in the real estate management industry. Available for download at: http://www.irem.org/resources/ Leadership-Competencies-Guide IREM Leadership Development White Papers

34. You may find the resources listed here helpful in furthering your understanding of the topics covered in this workshop. Resources  IREM Leadership Competencies White Papers www.irem.org/resources/Leadership- Competencies-Guide www.irem.org/resources/Leadership- Competencies-Guide  IREM Education (Courses, On-Demand Learning, Webinars) www.irem.org/education www.irem.org/education  Principles of Real Estate Management, 16th Edition Special thanks to: Shannon Alter Alter Consulting Group www.alterconsultinggroup.com 714.833.6797

35. Thank you! For more information on this and other industry topics, visit www.irem.org today! www.irem.org