1. Effective Club Communication
Lee Fogarty, Ph. D.
Proud Governor, District 4
Former Conflict Management Officer, District 4

2. Effective Club Communication
How to talk so others will listen
How to listen so others can talk

3. A team
A team is a small group of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common purpose.

4. Barriers to communication
So, we are working towards a common purpose.
What gets in the way?
information overload
time
energy
message congruency
personality differences
lack of trust

5. We’d be fine if they weren’t so different
Ever wonder why people behave the way they do?
innate personality
cultural differences
learned responses
This adds richness to our culture and our organization
….can make communication more challenging
….causes judgments
May also
create tensions
contribute to conflict

6. Separate realities
This is my favorite theory in terms of communication
Often we decide the things that motivate me will (should) motivate everyone (my father)
To be successful we understand their differences and respond without judgment
This increases positive interaction and reduces conflict

7. This relationship would be great if it weren’t for you
A real title of a book, and often how we think In order to communicate, we need to learn what will work with the other person - what is effective with them, rather than trying to get them to be us The person who is task focused needs to be given reasons not feelings, the person who is relationship focused needs to be addressed in a relational way, the technical person needs to have facts. (AM)

8. Separate realities
In organizations, need to take advantage of different strengths
We need
People who like detailed work as well as those who look at the big picture
Creative people as well as analytical ones
People who work best in groups as well as those who think best on their own

9. Trust
Once we understand personality differences, it is easier to build trust. Trust is the most important ingredient in working with a team. Think of one example of when you felt trust in a friend. Think of one example of when you felt trusted by a friend. How does that feel?

10. What is trust? Basically trusting that you will tell me the truth
Confidence that peers intentions are good
Feel that there is no reason to have to be protective or careful
Comfortable being VULNERABLE with each other
Show weaknesses
Admit skill deficiencies
Ask for help

11. …and this is really about conflict
…how it affects us and how we can learn to deal with it
To deal with conflict
good communication
trust
assertiveness

12. What is conflict?
CONFLICT
What words come to mind?

13. conflict Fear Loss Humiliation Flight Loss of productivity
Hurt, bad, tense, anger
All negative words

14. Conflict
Would this surprise you? “The absence of conflict is not harmony, it’s apathy” Conflict over issues is natural and necessary. Jot down some words that define conflict in a positive way.

15. Positive results of conflict
Better relationships
Increased confidence
Less anger and depression
Greater respect from others
Increased intimacy
Peace
Less fear
Greater sense of personal strength

16. Sources of conflict Poor communication Unclear responsibilities
Differences of goals
Divergent personalities
Differences in methods and styles
Differences in perception or opinions
Conflict of interest
Using the same old solutions over and over

17. Causes of Conflict
Interdependence plus differences can create conflict
Fact of life
No one’s fault
Develops when the concerns of different team members appear to be incompatible

18. Interdependence
Need to work together to satisfy concerns of the team Is high when the team makes decisions that affect all members

19. Differences
Varying responsibilities, values, temperaments, sources of information, experience
The more diverse the above, the more conflict
AND more diversity provides the opportunity for richer understanding of, and approaches to, issues

20. Positive conflict Teams that engage in conflict
Have lively, interesting meetings
Extract and exploit the ideas of all team members
Solve real problems quickly
Minimize politics
Put critical topics on the table for discussion

21. Teams that fear conflict
Have boring meetings
Create environments where back-channel politics and personal attacks thrive
Ignore controversial topics that are critical to team success
Fail to tap into all the opinions and perspectives of team members
Waste time and energy with posturing and interpersonal risk management

22. Conflict Management Styles
Avoidance
Competition
Accommodation
Compromise
Collaboration

23. Tips for Managing Conflict
Control your temper and emotional response
Understand the issues
Pick your battles
Search for a common goal or ground
Look at the context of the conflict

24. Context of conflict What is motivating the other person?
What beliefs or values are influencing their perspective?
What limitations are influencing her perspective (fears, lack of skills, stresses and pressures)?
Ask these questions of yourself, as well

25. Process of conflict management
Analyze the situation
Plan a strategy
prepare your strategy
Implement your strategy

26. Effective tactics Be calm
Maintain eye contact and be aware of body language
Explain your concerns in a descriptive manner
Supply only relevant data
I statements
Clarify other’s message by paraphrasing and get feedback
That is, really listen

27. Personal Action Plan
What are you willing to do differently in the coming weeks? What is one strength of yours in dealing with conflict? What is one area that you could focus on and improve? What is the hardest behavior for you to deal with? Why?

28. Continue the Conversation
Q & A
Please feel free to ask any questions related to communication and this webinar now.
Continue the Conversation
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