1. Obama’s AMERICAN RECOVERY AND REINVESTMENT ACT (the so-called “stimulus” package) WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! THE ECONOMY

2. WHY did you throw water on the grease fire??

3. I HAD to do SOMETHING!

4. But WATER on a GREASE fire?

5. Well there was this guy from Chicago telling me it would be irresponsible not to do it.

6. He said, “Quick, sign this and I’ll fix everything.”

7. What did you sign?

8. a “GREASE FIRE RECOVERY AND REINVESTMENT” contract

9. Let me see that…

10. You agreed to pay for a Nationalized Healthcare bureaucracy, and pay $198 million in lump-sum payments to aging Filipino veterans of World War II, $650 million for TV converter boxes, $1 billion to deal with census problems, $88 million to help move the Public Health Service into a new building, $2.1 billion to pay off a shortfall in public housing accounts, $30 million to save Nancy Pelosi’s mouse...

11. BIG GOVERNMENT My what big ears you have! The better to make big earmarks with!

12. Hey, where’d everybody go? Who’s gonna’ pay for the TV converter boxes? and Pelosi’s mouse, and Nationalized Health Care, and... Hey, Joe, remind them that it’s Patriotic to pay for this stuff!