Presentation on theme: "Student Aspects, Summer Follow up, and The Crucible evaluations."— Presentation transcript:
1Student Aspects, Summer Follow up, and The Crucible evaluations. Writing comments, improvementsand suggestions
2Read and follow instructions! It sounds simple, elementary even, but many student lose points by failing to follow the instructions.
3General Writing Requirements for Miller’s English IIIA this is an advanced English class; work should be presented using correct grammar and solid writing skillsessays and paragraphs should be titledwrite in third person (never use second unless in quotation; first is allowable only when noted)a paragraph needs a topic sentence; an essay needs a thesis statement
4General Writing Requirements for Miller’s English IIIA continued discuss literature in the present tensewhen responding to a prompt regarding literature with a paragraph or essay, always introduce the author (full name) and title—later the author may be referred to by his last nametitles of major works (like The Crucible) are italicized or underlined (in-class writing); minor works are placed in quotationsavoid absolutes—always, never, etcetera
5General Writing Requirements for Miller’s English IIIA continued do not write “I believe,” “I think,” “I feel,” etcetera—if a writer is sharing someone else’s ideas, parenthetical citation will give credit; otherwise all statements are considered the author’swhat is written in English class (with very few exceptions) is formal—avoid contractions, symbols, and abbreviations
6General Writing Requirements for Miller’s English IIIA write legibly—it’s wrong if Ms. Miller can’t make it outavoid careless errors—the title of the play should be spelled correctly—it’s on the test; ditto for characters’ names; do not call a play a novel, etcetera
7Easy Grammatical Fixes NEVER place a single comma between a subject and its verbNEVER place a colon immediately after a be verbMany rules of English grammar have exceptions: these do not—memorize them
8Aspects of Literatureits’ is not a word it’s = the contraction of it is its = the possesive of it
9Aspects of LiteratureUse present tense to discuss literature as well as film and television. Student error: “A plot-twist is an unforeseen sudden change in the plot of which the reader did not expect. Rod Sterling’s The Twilight Zone was notorious for including plot twists at the end of the episodes. What is wrong?
10Aspects of Literature“A plot-twist is an unforeseen sudden change in the plot of which the reader did not expect. Rod Sterling’s The Twilight Zone was notorious for including plot twists at the end of the episodes.Wording: “unforeseen sudden”Past tense: “did not expect” and “was”Improvement: Plot twists offer unforeseen changes. Notoriously, Rod Sterling’s The Twilight Zone includes plot twists to conclude episodes.
11Aspects of Literature“There” statements: Expletives are words or phrases which add nothing to sentences. The most commonly utilized expletives in student writing are there statements (there is, there are, there have been, there was, there were, etc.)
12Aspects of Literature “There” statements continued There statements weaken prose. Ridding papers of there statements offers the fastest way to strengthen weak writing.Good news: it is fairly easy to rid writing of there statements.Offer: anytime a student is writing in/for my class and can’t think of anything to write but a there statement, he should ask for help. I will help the student eliminate it and learn to do so himself
13Aspects of Literature“There” statements continued Student example “There are millions of books in the world, but only a select few are chosen to become part of the elite, the classics.”
14Aspects of Literature“There” statements continued “There are millions of books in the world, but only a select few are chosen to become part of the elite, the classics.” Improvement: Despite millions of books world wide, only a select few find elite status: the classics.
15Summer Follow UpRun-on sentences (r/o) A major issue which shows up again and again in student writing is run-on sentences. In order to correct run-on sentences, students must understand dependent and independent clauses.
16Summer Follow Up Run-on sentences cont. Clauses Clause: a group of words with a subject and a verbDependent (aka subordinate) clause: a clause that can’t stand alone as a sentence (contains a subject and a verb but not a complete thought)Independent clause: a clause that can stand alone as a sentence (complete thought)
17Summer Follow UpRun-on sentences cont. Another aid in eliminating run-on sentences is an understanding of sentence types.
18Summer Follow Up Run-on sentences cont. Simple sentence: a sentence containing only one independent clauseCompound sentence: a sentence containing two or more independent clauses
19Summer Follow Up Run-on sentences cont. Complex sentence: a sentence containing one independent clause and at least one dependent clauseCompound/complex sentence: a sentence containing at least one dependent clause and two (or more) independent clauses
20Summer Follow UpRun-on sentences—punctuating independent clauses Two independent clauses may be written as two separate sentences—utilize a period and a capital letter to correct. Two independent clauses may be divided with a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, but, so, etc.). Two independent clauses may be separated by a semicolon.
21Summer Follow Up Run-on sentences—punctuating independent clauses Two independent clauses may be separated by semicolon, a conjunctive adverb (however, therefore, moreover, nonetheless, etc.), and a comma.Two independent clauses may be separated by a colon if the first introduces a second clause which modifies the first. (This usage occurs infrequently—do not force!)
22Summer Follow UpStudent example: “She doesn’t feel as if her life is missing much, she doesn’t need all the comforts of Western society.” What causes the run-on sentences above? How can the error be corrected?
23Summer Follow UpRun-on sentences cont. “She doesn’t feel as if her life is missing much, she doesn’t need all the comforts of Western society.” “. . . much. She. . ..” “. . . much, and she ” “. . . much; she ” “. . . much; moreover, she ”
24The Crucible Evaluation Question 7 Is The Crucible chiefly concerned with religion, morality, history, or justice? Select one and defend the selection with two-to-four sentences of logical support.
25Question 7 - Student Response This student receive 5/5 for the response. The main concern of The Crucible is morality and the irony of what some people believe to be good morals. This is illustrated in the fact that people with the best morals are the ones that die for it because they refuse to lie after being accused. Also, the people who mistakenly have bad morals, such as the court, are the ones who condemn those with good morals.
26Question 7 – Student Response What is good?Follows instructionsProvides thoughtful and logical commentaryAnswers questionWhat could be improved?pronoun issuesfewer be verbs; more action verbs
27The ParagraphsThe instructions: select three of the following and discuss in a well-developed (approximately seven-to-twelve sentences), MLA formatted, third person, present tense paragraph.
28The Paragraphs Identify and discuss a major irony in The Crucible. A promptIdentify and discuss a major irony in The Crucible.
29Student ExampleIn Arthur Miller’s the Crucible, there are several examples of irony throughout the novel. Back in the late seventeenth century, people were very superstitious and the littlest thing out of the ordinary would raise confusion. Salem goes into ruins because no one is there to take care of anything. While trying to save Salem from witches, they ultimately lead to the ruin of their village. (continued next slide)
30Student Example continued With liveston running amuck, rotting crops lay in the fields, and children left uncared for, Salem was left in a shadow of its former self. What they did to Salem was worse than what they were trying to protect it from.What is good about this response?What about this response needs improvement?
31Student Example Positives Some knowledge of history and play is demonstratedIntroduces title and author’s full nameDiscusses an irony (although it is never labeled as such)
32Student Example Negatives Discusses literature in the past tenseSome questionable word choiceComma spliceRun-on sentence“there” statementEnds paragraph with a prepositionCalls play a novelSalem exists today, so the witch trials did not cause its ruinLack of clarity (“liveston”)?
33Student ExampleOne major irony in The Crucible reflects on Puritan values. A citizen may be openly accused of witchcraft with little or no proof. The courts have been created in such a way that somebody accused of witchcraft is nearly automatically sentenced to death. Escaping this fate is only possible by confessing to the crime, whether or not the “perpetrator” is guilty. (continued on next slide)
34Student Example continued This means, for an innocent person, they must confess to being a witch/warlock to live. One would think the Puritans would wish to persecute confessed dealers with Satan, not free them! This ironic, religious value defines a crisis in The Crucible.What is good here?What here needs improvement?
35Student Examples Positive responds to prompt (discusses an irony)follows instructions (7-12 sentences, present tense, third person)seems knowledgeable about play and time period (Puritan community)understands ironyclear and confident voice
36Student Example Negatives no introduction of authorpronoun/antecedent agreement erroruses “one” to avoid first/second personcomma issuesoccasional awkward wordingUnderlining?
37The ParagraphsSame instructions: select three of the following and discuss in a well-developed (approximately seven-to-twelve sentences), MLA formatted, third person, present tense paragraph.
38The Second PromptConsider the deleted scene, Act 2, Scene 2. Discuss how the scene might have changed the play and why Miller might have decided to remove it.
39Student ExampleIn Aurthor Miller’s The Crucible, the deleted scene, Act 2, Scene 2, is open to interpretation. One reason it may have been taken out is the difference in the characters’ emotions. John Proctor is seen as almost a “bad guy” because his relationship with Abby is more developed here and it shows that(continued on next slide)
40Student Example Continued John still is leading her on a little and showing the relationship still exists. In the rest of the play, Proctor looks like he totally regrets the relationship and treats Abby hatefully, contrasting to this scene. Continually, Miller may have decided that he didn’t want the reader to feel sympithetic to Abby because of (continued on next slide)
41Student Example Continued Proctor’s treatment of her. Miller may have wanted Abby to look justified in her constant struggle to win Proctor over. Finally, it is possible that Miller simply didn’t like the flow of the play with Act 2, Scene 2, included a decided to take it out. Miller’s reasoning to vague & unknown, but the play runs just smoothly without the scene as with.
42ConsiderationWhat is good here?What here needs improvement?
43Student Example Positives Introduces play and author (although spelled incorrectly)Uses present tenseUtilizes third personTitle set off appropriately
44Student Example Negatives Awkward word choice at times Spelling Misreading of play suggested (Proctor does not treat Abby hatefully in Act 1) Support needed (example: how might the deleted scene make Abby look justified or the audience gain sympathy) Proof reading—too many errors/concerns, even for an in-class write Sentence structure
45Student ExampleIn the play The Crucible, Arthoir [spelling unclear on student copy] Miller origianally had a scene in Act 2 in which Proctor confronts Abigail on everything she is doing, but Miller later excluded that scene from the play. If Miller had kept the scene in the play, the viewers would see a different side of Abigail and may have a different perspective on her than without the scene. (continued on next slide)
46Student Example Continued In the scene, it becomes more and more obvious that there is something wrong with Abigail. She goes off on rants about people in Salem and how they are all hypocrites, and she still believes that John Proctor wants his wife dead so he can be with Abigail, even though he tries to tell her forcefully that he loves his wife and doesn’t want Abigail. It becomes clear that Abigail has(continued on next slide)
47Student Example Continued something wrong with her through the stage notes when it says Proctor begins to see her madness. This scene softens Abigail’s character because it shows she’s crazy, and viewers may feel sympathy toward her. The sympathy for her is not wanted because she is the main antagonist in the play. Miller might not want that feeling toward her because it would soften the whole take of the play.
48Student ExampleWhat here is good?What here needs improvement?
49Student Example Positives Introduces title and author (possible spelling error)Seems thoughtfulMinimal grammatical errorsKnowledge of play and characters demonstratedResponds to promptShows knowledge of literary devices
50Student Example Negatives SpellingWord choice (more variety needed)Sentence structure occasionally awkward“there” statementSeems redundant at timesFails to set off title appropriately