2. Managing children’s behaviors

3. Objectives Able to identify causes of children’s behaviorAble to identify causes of children’s behavior Able to distinguish between discipline and punishmentAble to distinguish between discipline and punishment Able to encourage desirable behaviour (3P)Able to encourage desirable behaviour (3P) Able to utilize concepts of positive discipline (3P)Able to utilize concepts of positive discipline (3P) Able to apply basic concepts to Letter Friend©Able to apply basic concepts to Letter Friend©

4. In our days… Open question to floor: have anyone of you been disciplined when you were young?Open question to floor: have anyone of you been disciplined when you were young? –What happened? –Why did you want to behave the way you did? –How did your parent respond? –How did you feel about their response? (Fair/unfair, appropriate/no appropriate) –What did their response teach you? –How did you respond to them?

5. Key points How children behave depends on their interpretation of their situation.How children behave depends on their interpretation of their situation. Adults need to understand what the children are trying to accomplish through their behavior, and to respond in ways that are appropriate to the behavior (and child’s age)Adults need to understand what the children are trying to accomplish through their behavior, and to respond in ways that are appropriate to the behavior (and child’s age)

6. Why do children behave the way they do? Reasons for misbehavior: Unmet needsUnmet needs Accidental rewardsAccidental rewards Escalation TrapsEscalation Traps Ignoring desirable behaviourIgnoring desirable behaviour Watching othersWatching others Giving instructionsGiving instructions Emotional messagesEmotional messages Reasons for good behavior: Assured/secure/ lovedAssured/secure/ loved ConfidentConfident AppreciativeAppreciative Show their adequacyShow their adequacy

7. Other factors maintaining misbehavior Genetic make upGenetic make up Poor role modellingPoor role modelling Inconsistent parentingInconsistent parenting Poor parent-child relationshipPoor parent-child relationship External influences/stressors e.g. other caregivers, school, etc.External influences/stressors e.g. other caregivers, school, etc.

8. React or Respond? Prevent or Cure? Punishment or discipline? Punishment Tells children that they have been badTells children that they have been bad Does not tell them what to do insteadDoes not tell them what to do instead Usually does not make sense to children because it does not have anything to do with the behaviourUsually does not make sense to children because it does not have anything to do with the behaviour Is easy and fast, but teaches them the importance of power and that violence is a good way to conflict resolution.Is easy and fast, but teaches them the importance of power and that violence is a good way to conflict resolution.

9. React or Respond? Prevent or Cure? Punishment or discipline? Discipline Teaches children how to actTeaches children how to act Helps children feel good about themselves because it gives them a chance to correct their mistake, and puts them in control of their actions.Helps children feel good about themselves because it gives them a chance to correct their mistake, and puts them in control of their actions. Makes sense to a child because it is directly related to their behaviorMakes sense to a child because it is directly related to their behavior Helps children know what is expected of them even though more time, patience and creativity is needed.Helps children know what is expected of them even though more time, patience and creativity is needed.

10. Positive parenting Behaviors increase or decrease according to the consequences meted out to them. Positive reinforcementsPositive reinforcements –Encouraging desirable behaviour –Promoting children’s development Positive disciplinePositive discipline –Managing misbehaviour

11. POSITIVE REINFORCEMENTS

12. Positive relationships Spend quality time with the childSpend quality time with the child Talk with the childTalk with the child Show affectionShow affection

13. Encouraging desirable behaviour Praise the childPraise the child Give the child attentionGive the child attention Provide engaging activitiesProvide engaging activities

14. Descriptive praise Be clear and specific Describe the behaviour you like Be enthusiastic Mean what you say

15. Teaching new skills and behaviours Set a good exampleSet a good example Use incidental teachingUse incidental teaching Use Ask, Say, DoUse Ask, Say, Do Use behaviour chartsUse behaviour charts

16. Incidental teaching Promotes: LanguageLanguage Creative, independent playCreative, independent play General knowledgeGeneral knowledge Problem solvingProblem solving

17. Incidental teaching How could you use incidental teaching for: Why questionsWhy questions Mispronouncing a wordMispronouncing a word Wanting to show you somethingWanting to show you something Asking for help when frustratedAsking for help when frustrated

18. Ask, Say, Do For washing hair: Ask What is the first thing we do when we wash our hair?Ask What is the first thing we do when we wash our hair? Say First we get under the water and get our hair all wet. Show me how you do it.Say First we get under the water and get our hair all wet. Show me how you do it. Do Guide your child through the task. Give as little help as possible.Do Guide your child through the task. Give as little help as possible. Praise cooperation and successPraise cooperation and success Repeat Ask, Say, Do for each step of the taskRepeat Ask, Say, Do for each step of the task

19. Behaviour charts Describe the behaviour – state it positivelyDescribe the behaviour – state it positively Decide how often a star is earnedDecide how often a star is earned Set a goal (easy at first)Set a goal (easy at first) Decide on rewardsDecide on rewards Decide on consequencesDecide on consequences Get everything readyGet everything ready

20. Using a behaviour chart Praise the child every time they earn a starPraise the child every time they earn a star Give the reward when the goal is reachedGive the reward when the goal is reached Don’t criticise or take away starsDon’t criticise or take away stars Phase out rewardsPhase out rewards

21. POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

22. Ground rules Rules should be: Few Fair Easy to follow Enforceable Positively stated

23. Directed discussion Example: Throwing pencil Gain your child’s attention:Gain your child’s attention: Carl… Carl… State the problem briefly and calmly:State the problem briefly and calmly: You just threw your pencil. Explain why the behaviour is a problem:Explain why the behaviour is a problem: You might break something or hurt yourself or others. Ask your child the correct behaviour:Ask your child the correct behaviour: What’s our rule about keeping your pencil? Have your child practise it:Have your child practise it: OK, show me. Go back and start again. Praise the correct behaviour:Praise the correct behaviour: That’s much safer. I like it when you keep your pencil nicely in the pencil case.

24. For what minor behaviours could you use planned ignoring?For what minor behaviours could you use planned ignoring? When should you stop ignoring a behaviour?When should you stop ignoring a behaviour? What would stop you from using planned ignoring?What would stop you from using planned ignoring? Ideas for planned ignoring

25. Clear, calm instructions Get close – within an arm’s length Get down to your child’s eye level Gain your child’s attention – say their name Get eye contact if possible Use a calm voice Say exactly what you want your child to do Pause briefly to give time to comply Repeat a start instruction once – do not repeat a stop instruction

26. Ideas for clear, calm instructions How would you phrase your instruction? It is time for the child’s TLF lessonIt is time for the child’s TLF lesson The child is jumping on the couchThe child is jumping on the couch

27. Choosing logical consequences The child is throwing/tearing their books at the study tableThe child is throwing/tearing their books at the study table The child is playing roughly with his pencilThe child is playing roughly with his pencil

28. Start routine Compliancee

29. What are some things we can do in Letter Friend based on 3P principles? Ensure safety at HomeEnsure safety at Home Ensure availability of interesting activitiesEnsure availability of interesting activities Set clear ground rules - few, specific, achievable, positively statedSet clear ground rules - few, specific, achievable, positively stated Tell them when they are good – descriptive praiseTell them when they are good – descriptive praise Help them to comply when they aren’t.Help them to comply when they aren’t. 1. Directed discussion –Draw their attention to their behavior –Ask them what they should be doing instead –Ask the child to try the desired behavior and reinforce positively 2. Ask, Say, Do Engage parents’ helpEngage parents’ help

30. What do you think about their behavior? 4 yr old Michelle keeps running to you when you are busy teaching her 6 yr old brother4 yr old Michelle keeps running to you when you are busy teaching her 6 yr old brother Your 5 yr old student writes on the walls with crayons.Your 5 yr old student writes on the walls with crayons. Your 6 year old student refuses to practice writing the alphabets. He asks to do something else that he is more interested in (things that come into his sight). When you refuse, he demands and cries.Your 6 year old student refuses to practice writing the alphabets. He asks to do something else that he is more interested in (things that come into his sight). When you refuse, he demands and cries. Question:Question: –What does the child want? Why do you think he/she does that? –How do parents generally react and how child responds to them? – How do we want to deal with this situation? Is your resolution age-appropriate?