Presentation on theme: "Do we, parents, rule at home? DISCIPLINARY STRATEGIES."— Presentation transcript:
Do we, parents, rule at home? DISCIPLINARY STRATEGIES
Order at home…Order at home… What do we know about parental authority? At home we ordered? Effective authority Answer to the childrens needs + Requirement of appropriate behavior patterns
How can we respond to our childrens needs? Understanding the changes that occur during adolescence; Understanding the adolescents needs; Acting according to the adolescents changes and needs. At home we ordered? How can we demand appropriate patterns of behavior?
From parents of children to parents of teens... What changes do the adolescents undergo? Fast physical growing-up; More complex thinking; Identity, autonomy, responsibility. At home we ordered?
Which are the adolescents needs? Support; Stability; Monitoring; Rules. From parents of children to parents of teens... Some disciplinary strategies +
Order at home At home we ordered? From parents of children to parents of teens... THE NEW MEANING OF AUTHORITY Facilitate and encourage autonomy
Support your adolescent What messages should we convey to the teenager? I love you, I accept you as you are; I appreciate the positive things you do; I know what you need and Ill try to correspond; I am available when you need me; Affection, respect, interest, attention to changes, supervision, have clear boundaries, communication. At home we ordered? Support, affection, involvement…
Communicating with your teen Make it happen Create communication moments Listen Stop, look, do not interrupt, help your teen to express himself, understand and convey understanding Talk Look, speak calmly and confirm that the other understands At home we ordered? Support your teen
Provide stability to teen The importance of family routines Facilitate the organization of the working time; Facilitate coordination among the members of the family; Make daily routines predictable. At home we ordered? Structured environments contribute to the teens stability and safety Boundaries, rules, expectations, control, monitoring
Monitor your teen Encourage autonomy and respect the teens choices. Key Questions: Where is he? Who is he with? What is he doing? When does he come back home? At home we ordered?
Set rules Set reasonable rules; Set explicit, clear, pratical and positive rules; Establish a reasonable number of rules; Set the rule when there is obedience and consequences for transgression; Do not set rules that can not or will not be accomplished; Try to establish general rules for the whole family; Require systematic accomplishment of the rules. At home we ordered?
Disciplinary Strategies How to avoid and deal with difficulties? DEVELOP A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP Time, communication, support PRAISE AND REINFORCEMENT LIMITS AND RULES Remove attention THE COST OF RESPONSE PUNISHMENT At home we ordered?
Praise and reinforcement Positive Reinforcement – implementation of positive consequences when a desirable behavior occurs. Objects, privileges, activities, attention, praise, affection... 1.Select the reinforcement; 2.Apply it in a systematic and consistent way; 3.First apply it consistently and later intermittently; 4.Start with immediate reward and step by step delay the reward; 5.Talk to your teenager. At home we ordered?
Praise and reinforce Positive reinforcement: praise The teen needs to be praised and valued. The praise should be specific and realistic I like the sweater youre wearing. It suits you well. vs You're the prettiest girl in school; I was pleased with your results vs You are very intelligent. When my son behaves properly or achieves a desired behavior, do I praise him? At home we ordered?
Praise and reinforcement Negative reinforcement – Use negative or unpleasant consequences. Objects, privileges, activities, attention, praise, affection... At home we ordered?
Remove the attention By giving attention to an undesirable behavior, even in a negative way (scold, blame), is a way to strengthen them. Identify what happens after the inappropriate behavior occurs (adult attention or other young, perks and rewards, interruption of negative conditions); When facing an undesirable behavior either "pretend not to see or hear it" or move temporarily away from the situation; Speak with a neutral emotional tone and do not use negative verbalizations. At home we ordered?
The cost of response Cost of response – loss of privileges valued by the youngster, because of inappropriate behavior. Remove an activity or pleasant consequence; Negotiate with the youngster the costs associated with the undesirable behaviors; Costs must have a logical relationship with the undesirable behaviors. At home we ordered?
Punishment Punishment – Use a negative consequence according to the inappropriate behavior. Punishment may be necessary in situations of risk to oneself (the teenager who transgresses) or to the others; Punishment highlights the condemnation of the bad behavior and reinforces its negative value. At home we ordered?
Punishment Choose a negative consequence for the youngster proportional to the behavior ; Warn about the consequences when there is transgression and explain the reasons for the prohibition; Do not apply the punishment when emotionally uncontrolled (when feeling angry, annoyed); Monitor the implementation of the consequence by making it clear what is forbidden behavior and consequences. AVOID THE USE OF PUNISHMENT At home we ordered?
Behaviour agreement 1.Establish behaviour changes or the rules to accomplish; 2.Establish positive consequences when there is good behaviour; 3.Establish unpleasant consequences when there is transgression. It is a written and signed agreement; Rules and behaviours should be set in reduced number and clearly (what to do, how often, how long, …), and formulated in a positive way and be possible to achieve; The consequences should be identified according to the characteristics of the adolescent and their implementation should be feasible; Stipulate the beginning and the end of the agreement - When the intended objectives are achieved, the agreement should finish. Promotion of cooperation and negotiation At home we ordered?
Order at home… How to avoid and deal with difficulties? DEVELOP A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP Time, communication, support PRAISE AND REINFORCEMENT LIMITS AND RULES Remove attention THE COST OF RESPONSE PUNISHMENT When there is adequate behavior, do I praise my child? Do I praise my child? Do I spend positive time with my child? Do I establish clear rules and consequences when there is transgression? Do I only concentrate myself on negative behaviors? Do I avoid to focus on undesirable behaviors? At home we ordered?
EPIS Methodology http://epis.pt/epis/homepage.php Applied by APPIS on the field, in Paredes
Discipline to educate, not to punish... At home we ordered?
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