1. KSF Communication - Level 3 or 4 accomplice.uk.com
Conflict Management
KSF Communication - Level 3 or 4
accomplice.uk.com
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Welcome
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Aim
To increase our ability to recognise and positively deal with conflict situations
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Programme
Welcome
Aim and Programme
Recap (Team to advise on progress since last event)
Conflict – Definition; Symptoms and Causes
Natural Styles in Conflict Situations
Dealing with Conflict – Best Practice
Review & Evaluation
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5. Your Personal Objective
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6. Feedback on Team Actions Since the Team Time Out
Recap
Feedback on Team Actions
Since the Team Time Out
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What is conflict?
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Programme
Welcome
Aim and Programme
Recap (Team to advise on progress since last event)
Conflict – Definition; Symptoms and Causes
Natural Styles in Conflict Situations
Dealing with Conflict – Best Practice
Review & Evaluation
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A competition among parties to change or maintain their relative positions of power and resources with respect to one or more issues.
Judy Bradt
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10. Being able to work with others is one of the most sought after skills
Being able to relate to colleagues is essential for everyone
KSF Communication - Level 3 or 4
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11. How would you recognise conflict?
Symptoms of Conflict
How would you recognise conflict?
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Symptoms of Conflict 1
Ideas or suggestions attacked before a fair hearing (including facilitator’s)
Comments made with vehemence
Subtle attacks at a personal level
Accusations “you don’t understand x, y, z”
Contributions are ignored or talked over
Selective hearing (distortion) of another’s views
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Symptoms of Conflict 2
Selective hearing (distortion) of another’s views
Atmospheres of impatience, discomfort
Body language – aggressive, avoidance, withdrawal
People state the group
is too large, small, wrong people
Doesn’t have the right expertise, authority to achieve its task
People take sides and refuse to move from their positions
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Causes of Conflict
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15. Case Study
Reflect on scenario (s) in which there has been or is conflict
Who is in conflict – and why?
What is causing the conflict?
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16. Sources of Conflict In the conflict scenario you describe,
what caused the conflict to happen?
What other things cause conflict?
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Sources of Conflict 1
Difficult or impossible task
Powerless to make or influence decisions
Inadequate problem-solving methods and tools
Inadequate decision-making methods
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Sources of Conflict 2
Power or status issues within the group that have not been resolved
Outside interests conflict with the group’s
Apathy created by a few members
Personality differences
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19. Maslov’s Hierarchy of Needs
A.H. Maslov, A Theory of Human Motivation, Psychological Review 50 (1943):
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Cause of Conflict
Conflict is based around two independent variables
Conflict styles (and a road map) comes from knowing how assertive or cooperative a person/group is
The inventory assesses five dimensions of behaviour
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"Don't just focus on what you want to say. “Most misunderstandings arise because of how you say it."
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22. Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument [TKI]
Increasingly assertive
Competing
(win – lose)
Collaboration
(win – win)
Increasingly cooperative
Compromising
(partial win-
partial lose)
Avoiding
(lose – lose)
Accommodating
(lose - win)
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23. Assertiveness & Rights
To be assertive, one must be clear about their (and others) rights while communicating.
The five basic rights of every individual:
You have the right to do anything as long as it does not hurt someone.
You have the right to maintain your dignity by being assertive - even if it hurts someone else (provided you are not intentionally trying to hurt them i.e. being aggressive).
You have the right to make a request from someone, as long as you recognize that the other person has the rights to say no.
In many interpersonal situations the rights aren't clear. But you always have the right to discuss the problem with the persons involved, to clarify it.
You have the rights to your rights.
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Programme
Welcome
Aim and Programme
Recap (Team to advise on progress since last event)
Conflict – Definition; Symptoms and Causes
Natural Styles in Conflict Situations
Dealing with Conflict – Best Practice
Review & Evaluation
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Natural Styles
Teddy Bear
“Smoothing”
Owl
“Confronting”
Fox
“Compromising”
Low Importance R E L A T I O N S H I P S High Importance
Turtle
“Withdrawing”
Shark
“Forcing”
Low Importance G O A L S High Importance
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TURTLE
WITHDRAWING
SHARK
FORCING
‘TEDDY’
SMOOTHING
FOX
COMPROMISING
OWL
CONFRONTING 15 17 20 23 29 2 13 24 27 33 3 19 18 22 4 5
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Natural Styles
Teddy Bear
“Smoothing”
Owl
“Confronting” 1=
[1] 5
Fox
“Compromising”
Low Importance R E L A T I O N S H I P S High Importance
Turtle
“Withdrawing”
Shark
“Forcing”
[4]
Low Importance G O A L S High Importance
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29. Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument [TKI]
Increasingly assertive
Competing
(win – lose)
Collaboration
(win – win)
Increasingly cooperative
Compromising
(partial win-
partial lose)
Avoiding
(lose – lose)
Accommodating
(lose - win)
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30. TKI Process – Individual Practice
Individual use of the TKI
Examine the 5 modes
Discuss how your behaviour differs from the group
Suggest how your style may be affecting your current relationships
Propose strategies for improvement
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31. TKI Process – Facilitators Practice
e.g. analyse and select the appropriate conflict-handling method for a situation:
Conflict and change management
Enhancing communication
Performance improvement
Stress management
Team building
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Programme
Welcome
Aim and Programme
Recap (Team to advise on progress since last event)
Conflict – Definition; Symptoms and Causes
Natural Styles in Conflict Situations
Dealing with Conflict – Best Practice
Review & Evaluation
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33. A Continuum of Approaches
Simple discussion between people to negotiate and issue on their own with no outside assistance
Adjudication – conflicted parties abide, by law, to the decision of a third party (a judge) who bases her decision on legal precedents
Conflicting parties have decreasing control
over the process and outcome
Dugan, A Nested Theory of Conflict (Leadership Journal, 1999)
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34. Implications for Facilitators & Groups
Assist parties keep track of ideas and suggestions – resurrect useful ones
Formal role of mediator to guide and support a voluntary dialogue – without authority to enforce or impose a solution
Focus on drawing out parties’ ideas and help them evaluate their suitability
‘Third-party’ role – and suggest solutions
Increasingly directive
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35. Dealing with Group Conflict
State what you see going on
Ask for confirmation
Ask the group members to diagnose what is happening
Ask for suggestions about what to do
Work to reach agreement
Ensure the agreement is acted upon
by both parties
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36. Resolving Conflict NIS ONE
Ensure the needs of each party are understood
Ensure both understand the impact of each party’s position upon the other
Clarify the source of the conflict
Identify and quality the options (and resources) required for resolution
Negotiate towards resolution: listen, learn, seek flexibilities:
Room to move
Middle ground
win-win situations
Ensure resolution is experienced
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Gaining Agreement (1)
Check you understand their perspective:-
Invite the other person to explain their views
Listen
Repeat their views back to them
Invite the them to confirm you have heard.
If misunderstanding continues, repeat a-d again
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Gaining Agreement (2)
Check you have explained your perspective so that they understand it:-
Ask other person to allow you to explain your views – and gain agreement!
Explain your views
Ask them to repeat your views back to you
Confirm that they have understood correctly
If misunderstanding continues, repeat a-d again
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Conflict Resolution
Role Play
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Programme
Welcome
Aim and Programme
Recap (Team to advise on progress since last event)
Conflict – Definition; Symptoms and Causes
Natural Styles in Conflict Situations
Dealing with Conflict – Best Practice
Review & Evaluation
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Review
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Evaluation
CPD
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Close
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44. Assertiveness - Definition
To be able to interact with people while standing up for your rights.
Being assertive is to one's benefit most of the time but it does not mean that you always gets what you want.
The result of being assertive is that
you feel good about yourself
other people know how to deal with you and there is nothing vague about dealing with you.
Adapted from Winkipedia
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45. Assertiveness - Characteristics
They feel free to express their feelings, thoughts, and desires.
They know their rights.
They have control over their emotions – including anger.
It does not mean that they repress their feelings.
It means that they control them for at difficult moments and can then talk about it later in a logical way.
They have a good understanding of (and care for) the feelings of the person with whom they are communicating.
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46. Assertiveness Techniques
The Broken Record
repeating your requests every time you are met with illegitimate resistance However, a disadvantage with this technique is that when resistance continues, your requests lose power every time you have to repeat them. If the requests are repeated too often it can backfire on the authority of your words. In these cases it is necessary to have some sanctions on hand.
Fogging
Find some limited truth to agree with in what an antagonist is saying
Agree in part or agree in principle.
Negative inquiry
request further, more specific criticism.
Negative assertion
agreement with criticism without letting up demand
‘I’ statements
voice one's feelings and wishes without expressing a judgment about the other person or blaming one's feelings on them.
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A person is aggressive when they impose their will onto another person and tries to force them to submit. Examples of aggressive behaviour are fighting, accusing, threatening, and a general disregard for the other persons feeling. Aggression is about dominance.
People behave passively when they let others push them around, when they do not stand up for themselves, and when they do what they are told regardless of how they feel about it. Passivity is about submission. Nobody likes being dominated, but it might seem like the smart thing to do at the time (perhaps to avoid disagreement or confrontation).
Assertiveness is about finding the middle path. We behave assertively when we stand up for ourselves (when required), express our true feelings, and do not let others take advantage of us while, at the same time, being considerate of others' feelings.
Assertivness is not about simply choosing between an aggressive or passive style of communication. It's about respecting the rights (personal boundaries) and feelings of others and expecting others to respect your rights and feelings too. If someone doesn't respect your rights and feelings, you communicate it to them. It isn't about scoring points or getting even by lashing out at them (aggressive) or feeling hurt and not talking about it so as to not embarrass the other person (passive). - for self and others.
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Assertiveness training emphasizes that to be assertive, one must be clear about their (and others) rights while communicating. The five basic rights of every individual:
You have the right to do anything as long as it does not hurt someone.
You have the right to maintain your dignity by being assertive - even if it hurts someone else (provided you are not intentionally trying to hurt them i.e. being aggressive).
You have the right to make a request from someone, as long as you recognize that the other person has the rights to say no.
In many interpersonal situations the rights aren't clear. But you always have the right to discuss the problem with the persons involved, to clarify it.
You have the rights to your rights.
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49. Assertive Behaviour - Characteristics
Openess implies being clear and specific about what you want, think and feel. A lack of openness often leads to misunderstanding. "I didn't like that movie", "I feel irritated when you show up late", "I want to eat Chinese. Can we get Chinese?" are statements that are clear and unlikely to be misinterpreted.
Directness means addressing the person / situation directly. For example, if you are in a group and want to say something to someone, communicate directly with that person instead of addressing the whole group and hoping that the person gets the message. Or, if you want your husband to get you vegetables from the supermarket, address it directly, "Will you please get a packet of frozen peas from the supermarket?" instead of asking, "Will you, by any chance, be going out today?".
Honesty in communication implies that you be truthful and not mislead the other person. Example: your friend says, "I don't like your hairstyle" and you reply, "Yes, I don't too" when in fact you actually do. When we aren't honest, we deprive the other person a chance to get to understand and know us better.
Appropriateness implies taking the social and cultural context into consideration before communicating. Asking out a girl in a bar might be appropriate, but trying to get a date with a widow on her husbands funeral can certainly get you into trouble. In other words, don't forget your manners!
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Becoming Assertive
Understand the basic concepts
Practice non-verbal cues:
Stand straight ; Make eye contact; Speak loud enough
Practice Verbal Responses:
saying yes or no, when we want to
ask favours and make requests
communicate our feelings and thoughts in an open and direct way
handle put downs
Learn
adaptive behaviours in job situations
the ability to form and maintain a social network
develop close, personal relationships
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