Leadership The 7 Habits and More!! Joe Coles

Leadership The 7 Habits and More!! Joe Coles jcoles@swprsc.org
Southwest Plains Regional Service Center

PROCEDURES Time Out Foul
If someone puts you down, you can call a foul. If they call a foul on you, you have to give two put-ups about that person.

What to Expect Today . . . . . Welcome Human treasure hunt.
Find your partner- same color card- same number card. 222– Introduce 2- school things 2- outside of school things 2- other things Today--- What do we want to accomplish? Make an impact at your school.

Find your partner– By Card
Visit with your partner Find out: 222 Introduce them: Speak loud enough that all can hear Speak to the entire group Focus and have confidence

7 habits of highly effective teens
} Be Proactive Begin With the End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood Synergize Sharpen the Saw – Improving Yourself You } Relationships

Paradigms and Principles
What you see is what you get Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you see the whole world. George Bernard Shaw English Playwright

WHAT IS A PARADIGM The way you see something Your point of view
Frame of reference Belief They are often way off mark They create limitations Are your paradigms of yourself helping or hindering you? Paradigms of others can be way out of whack Paradigms of life What is the driving force of my life? What do I spend my time thinking about? Who or what is my obsession?

Paradigm Shift Seeing things from another point of view
Be willing to change your paradigm when it becomes clear that it is wrong Change the glasses through which we see the world Open your minds and hearts to new Information Ideas Points of view

Principles What is a principle? A natural law or basic truth
A fundamental truth that is timeless Honesty Service Love Respect Balance

PRINCIPLES NEVER FAIL They will never talk behind your back
They don’t get up and move They don’t suffer career-ending injuries They don’t play favorites based on skin color, gender, wealth, or body features Putting principles first is key to becoming a person of character For every problem, search for the principle that will solve it

THE PRIVATE VICTORY The Personal Bank Account
Starting with the Man in the Mirror

SYMPTOMS OF A POOR PBA Cave in to peer pressure
Wrestle with feelings of depression and inferiority Overly concerned about what others think Act arrogant to help hide your insecurities Self-destruct by getting heavily into drugs, vandalism, or gangs Get jealous easily, especially when someone close to you succeeds

Symptoms of a Healthy PBA
Stand up for yourself and resist peer pressure Not overly concerned about being popular See life as a generally positive experience Trust yourself Are goal driven Happy for the success of others

CHA-CHING! PBA Deposits PBA Withdrawals Keep promises to yourself
Do small acts of kindness Be gentle with yourself Be honest Renew yourself Tap into your talents PBA Withdrawals Break personal promises Keep to yourself Beat yourself up Be dishonest Wear yourself out Neglect your talents

7 HABITS CAN HELP YOU: WHAT EXACTLY ARE HABITS?
Get control of your life. Improve your relationships with your friends. Increase your self-confidence. Be Happy. WHAT EXACTLY ARE HABITS?

#1 Be Proactive Thumb to chest, who needs to be proactive, I do
I Am the Force Accept responsibility for your life Promote personal change Proactive or Reactive…the choice is yours Proactive People Make choices based on values They think before they act Take responsibility for their choices Reactive People Make choices based on impulse (feelings, moods, and emotions) If shaken up, the pressure builds and they explode

#1 Be Proactive Pop vs. Water Proactive Reactive

#1 Be Proactive Hula Hoops You have to turn your Hula Hoop over RULES
Can’t raise over your heads Can’t take apart Cannot step on the ground outside of a hula hoop

WHAT CAN I DO Tell me some Cool things about your School
High Quality Education “Best” Facilities Highly Qualified Teachers “A La Carte” Program (PB&J, Ice Cream) 4 Day week Extracurricular activities “Student of the Month” Coca Cola program Get into groups by cards

Your School What is “Cool” about your school?

#1 Be Proactive I am only one, but I am one. I can’t do everything, but I can do something. That which I can do, I ought to do. That which I ought to do, I shall do. Everyone can do something!!

20 Questions Each participant needs paper and a pencil. Instruct each one to complete the sentence, “I am” -- listing all the “roles” they fill (such as I am a daughter, I am a basketball player, I am a student council member, etc.) Encourage the listing of roles or positions/activities, not personal characteristics/adjectives. Each participant then shares his/her list with the group. Ask each group member to go to 5 other people and tell them a role that that person has.

Thank You Letter

Issues in your school! What are some “concerns” about your school/community?

Some things to think about
Carrying book bags between classes Hall passes in hallway during class time. Speed bumps Lack of school spirit

#2 Begin With The End In Mind
Point down, to sky, to mind Since you are the driver, decide where you want to go and draw up a map to get there.

Which paths will you take The paths you choose today can shape you forever Chair and person sitting How old are you? What are some decisions that you are making now or in the next 5 years that could affect you down the road?

10 Person Triangle Only 3 people can move Rubberbands

Control your destiny or someone else will. What is your mission statement, goals? Personal motto States what your life is about Opens your eyes to what’s really important, what do you value Helps you make decisions Everything about you changes but your mission statement will be like a deep- rooted tree that never moves

Five Keys to Goal Setting Key No. 1: Count the Cost What will it require Am I willing to make the sacrifice Don’t make commitments to myself I know I’m going to break Key No. 2: Put it in Pen “A goal not written is only a wish” A written goal carries ten times the power Key No. 3:Just Do it! There is a time to say I’ll try and a time to say I will!

Key No. 4: Use Momentous Moments Certain moments in life contain momentum and power Starts and finishes or beginnings and ends carry momentum (a new year) Tough experiences can carry momentum Setbacks and tragedies can often serve as springboards for change Key No. 5: Rope Up Borrow strength from others Rope up with friends, brothers, sisters, girlfriends, parents, counselors, grandparents, pastors, or whomever else you can

If you want to be ETRATORDINARY The first thing you have to do is quit being ORDINARY

3 Things to make an impact at your school.
Discuss The 3 things to make an impact in your school School Service Projects

School Service Projects
Mix It Up day Bullying Report Box Read to a grade school kid Sports buddy Class competition Fund raiser Incentive cards Put Up Box SADD Community pep rally’s Student tutoring Big Brother- Big Sister/Friends Homework club Incentives for extra curricular activities

Example Mission Statements I will live by my own policies. I will sleep with a clear conscience. I will sleep in peace. First and foremost, I will remain faithful always to my Faith. I will not underestimate the power of family unity. I will not neglect a true friend, but I will set aside time for myself as well. I will cross bridges as I come to them (divide and conquer). I will begin all challenges with optimism, rather than doubt. I will always maintain a positive self-image and high self-esteem, knowing that all my intentions begin with self-evaluation.

Example Mission Statements Religion Education Succeeding Productive Exercise Caring Truthful Example Mission Statements Care – about the world, about life, about people, about myself Love – myself, my family, my world, knowledge, learning, life Fight – for my beliefs, for my passions, to accomplish, to do good, to be true to myself Rock – the boat, don’t let the boat rock me, be a rock

LIVE YOUR LEGACY, LEAVE YOUR LEGACY How do you want to be remembered 5 years from now? Take a few minutes, fill out the Mission Statement Sheet. Take a break, QUIETLY!!!

#3 Put First Things First
Hands build on top of each other Prioritize, do the most important things first. The habit of will-power (the strength to say yes to your most important things) Won’t-power (the strength to say no to less important things and to peer pressure) It’s all about learning to prioritize and manage your time so that your first things come first not last….and learning to overcome your fears and being strong during hard moments.

Balloons What is taking your time?

Go through an average day and write down the time you spend in each category. Remember, the total time must equal 24 hours. Sleeping ______ Dressing/Hygiene ______ Eating ______ Travel ______ Classes ______ Extra Curricular ______ Work ______ Chores ______ Appointments ______ Study ______ Homework ______ Volunteering ______ Leisure ______ Family ______ Friends ______ Other, specify ______ After looking at this what do you think about the way you spend your time?

Line up No talking, by birthday, shoe size

Quadrant 1: The Procrastinator Addicted to urgency…put things off until they become a crisis Stress and anxiety Burnout Mediocre performance Quadrant 2: The Prioritier Things are important but not urgent Staying balanced is important Control of your life High performance Quadrant 3: The Yes-man Represents things that are urgent but not important Often caves to peer pressure Reputation for being a “pleaser” Lack of discipline Feels like a doormat for others to wipe their feet on Quadrant 4: The Slacker Category of waste and excess Activities are neither urgent nor important Lack of responsibility Guilt flakiness

What are your big rocks????? What do you want to accomplish for the upcoming week? Study for a test Finish reading a book Exercise 3 times Call grandma for her birthday Add in your little to-do’s, daily tasks, and appointments Look ahead on your calendar and record upcoming events and activities.

It’s not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. Edmund Hillary (first person to climb Mt. Everest) Comfort Zone and Courage Zone Putting first things first takes courage You will often have to stretch outside your comfort zone Never let fears make your decisions Show faith in yourself Take a risk

Winning means rising each time you fall Be strong in hard moments Overcoming peer pressure Final Analysis of Habit 3 Putting first things first takes discipline Discipline to manage your time Discipline to overcome your fears Discipline to be strong in the hard moments Discipline to resist peer pressure

Relationship Bank Account
The key to mastering relationships is first mastering yourself, at least to some degree. Life’s most urgent question is: What are you doing for others? Martin Luther King JR.

RBA Deposits Keep promises Do small acts of kindness Be loyal Listen Say you’re sorry Set clear expectations RBA Withdrawals Break promises Keep to yourself Gossip and break confidences Don’t listen Be arrogant Set false expectations

The stuff that life is made of: Keep Promises Keeping small commitments and promises is vital to building trust Do small acts of kindness A hello, a kind note, a smile, a compliment, a hug In relationships, the little things are the big things Be loyal Loyal people keep secrets Loyal people avoid gossip Loyal people stick up for others Listen Most people don’t listen Listening can heal wounds Say you’re sorry Don’t let pride or lack of courage stand in the way of saying you’re sorry Apologies disarm people Set clear expectations To develop trust avoid sending vague messages or implying something that is not true or not likely to happen Build trust by telling it like it is and lay out clear expectations right up front

#4 THINK WIN-WIN Point to head – arm wrestle
HAVE AN EVERYONE-CAN-WIN ATTITUDE!! Life is an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

#4 THINK WIN-WIN Win-Win is not….. Win-Lose
An attitude toward life that says the pie of success is only so big, and if you get a big piece there is less for me Is competitive Winning the game, being the best, having it your way Full of pride Using other people, emotionally or physically, for your own selfish purposes Trying to get ahead at the expense of others Spreading rumors about someone else (as if putting someone else down builds you up) Insisting on getting your way without concerning yourself with the feelings of others Becoming jealous and envious when something good happens to someone close to your

#4 THINK WIN-WIN Lose-Win The Doormat Have your way with me
Wipe your feet on me, everyone else does Is weak Easy to get stepped on Easy to be the nice guy Easy to give in Easy to set low expectations Compromising your standards Giving in to peer pressure is lose-win

#4 THINK WIN-WIN Lose-Lose The Downward Spiral
Usually happens when two win-lose people get together If I’m going down you’re going down with me Misery enjoys company Revenge is lose-lose Lose-lose can occur when you become obsessed with another person in a negative way

#4 THINK WIN-WIN A belief that everyone can win
You care about people and you want them to succeed It’s abundant There is plenty of success to go around It’s teamwork There’s more than enough food for everyone…It’s an All- You-Can-Eat Buffet

#4 THINK WIN-WIN Get into groups and talk about things that are a WIN-WIN situation in your school?

Role Models

Hero For me, a hero does not have to be larger than life. A hero is someone personal to each person. To be a hero, all that is required is love, honor, devotion, and sincerity, without compromise, for another fellow human being. Everyone has the potential within to become a hero, either their own or someone else's. To be a hero, according to the word's Greek origins, means a person protects or serves.

Hero-cont. My personal, modern-day heroes are all the teachers who do it for the kids, not the money. You can tell the difference without even knowing that teacher personally. You can see it in the way her eyes sparkle whenever she is talking to kids or about kids; you can hear the reverence in her voice when she talks about their possibilities; you can witness it modeled in her daily life - her kids are her number one priority - both her own children and those she teaches.

Hero-cont. I have the great fortune to work with two such a heroes. They have given me the strength, courage, and desire to continue my education in order to help the advancement of others. I'm not studying to be a teacher but to be a counselor. They have helped me to see the light. I realize now I don't have to go into private practice but could be much more beneficial in the school system. Heroes come in all forms; my heroes have come in the form of mentors.

Role Model Everyone needs some one to look up to, to admire, to have respect for. Get into groups of 5-6. List 5 to 8 characteristics that you would use to define a positive role model. Not physical. But behaviors, attitudes, life-styles, personality traits that are noteworthy. Share with the group.

#4 THINK WIN-WIN Think of someone that is a role model for you.
Draw things that represent that person. Share

#5 SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
Hand over eyes – then to ears YOU HAVE TWO EARS AND ONE MOUTH FOR A REASON!!!!!

One person leave the room. We will clap loud when they get close, soft when they are far away.

Spacing Out Someone is talking but we ignore them Our mind is wondering or caught up with our own thoughts Pretend Listening Still aren’t paying attention but we pretend to be We make insightful comments, “yeah,” “uh-huh,” “cool” Speaker will get the hint and feel they are not important enough to be heard Selective Hearing Pay attention to only what interests us Word Listening Pay attention but only listen to the words, not the body language, the feelings, or the true meaning behind the words If you focus on words only, you’ll seldom be in touch with the deeper emotions of people’s hearts Self-Centered Listening See everything from our point of view We judge, we advise, and we probe

GENUINE LISTENING SKILLS First, listen with your eyes, heart, and ears 7% of communication is contained in our words 53% comes from body language 40% how we say words, or the tone and feeling reflected in our voice PLEASE HEAR WHAT I AM NOT SAYING! Second, stand in their shoes Try to see the world as they see it Try to feel as they feel Third, practice mirroring Think like a mirror Mirrors don’t judge or give advice they just reflect They don’t mimic Repeat back in your own words what the other person is saying and feeling

The Wright Family Story

Sometime this week, ask your Mom or Dad, “How’s it going?” Open up your ears and practice genuine listening. You’ll be surprised by what you learn. If you’re a talker, take a break and spend you day listening. Only talk when you have to. The next time you find yourself wanting to bury your feelings deep inside you, don’t do it. Instead, express them in a responsible way.

Personality Inventory
Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, Beaver In each box, circle the words that best describe your personality. Double the number of words you circle and write down that number on the line in that box.

Lets discuss the different Personalities

Lion Lions or leaders There many accomplishments inspire awe.
In the military they are the Schwarzkopf's, Patton's, generals President of the company or think they are the president. Take charge sometimes pushy and overbearing.

Lions cont. Step in front of people or over people- all to get things done. Lions don’t waist any time. When stressed out- need to express their anger. Time alone sometimes relaxes them. Under pressure, sometimes become dictators

Otter Fun-loving type. Always looking for a party to happen.
Entertainers, enthusiastic motivators. Those who know people who know people who know people. They know everybody and bring so much fun into our life and world. Even though you may have scored the highest on this area, you may still have some of another personality type. High in two and low in the other two.

Otter’s cont. Otters will forget to bring things that they promised to bring. Can be dangerous and foolish risk takers. Otters are so motivational than people actually believe them. (Trust Me) Very verbal. Under pressure, tend to attack verbally. Otters love to play practical jokes.

Golden Retriever Golden Retrievers are among the most sensitive people on earth. “I won’t hurt you.” “I won’t say mean things to you.” They avoid confrontation. Enjoy routine. Value loyalty. Golden Retrievers are the warm, relational, nurturing ones. They feel deeply and will care enough to buy appropriate card. Can be easily hurt.

Golden Retriever- cont.
Loyal Golden Retriever can become stubborn in refusing to let go of hurts or grief. Gives and likes to receive warm smiles and glances, loyal to the end. Because they are loyal and do not like change, they can take a month to do something spontaneous. Golden Retrievers can feel the hurts of others so deeply. They bring concerns home with them, including the cares of colleagues and schoolmates. Sometimes carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Beaver These people enjoy not only writing instruction manuals, but reading those manuals. They value accuracy, getting things straight, and doing things right. Beavers make good health and safety inspectors, quality controllers, bankers, and accountants. They like quality, not junk. Beavers are serious, they have little tolerance for those who mess up. When your with them, you feel like being extra careful.

Beaver- cont. Beavers are real careful with people close to them.
They take the longest time to take a test or do a project. Hardest on themselves. Often they are pointing out mistakes in themselves. Beaver trait has their socks all color-coordinated and rolled up in the sock drawer. They make their beds every day, not only at home, but in motels. Beavers can be late for meetings because they must do things right. When they start something, they will not quit until they finish.

WE USE OUR STRENGTHS AND BLEND OUR DIFFERENCES
It is very normal for Golden retrievers to have some Beaver in them. It is very normal for a Lion and an Otter to marry a Golden Retriever or Beaver combination. Lions and Golden retrievers sometimes have trouble getting along. For Otters to do well in school, it has to be fun. Teachers, who are usually Beavers, don’t understand Otters as well. Each of us has these personality strengths in combinations which are variable and adjustable. They need to be brought into balance.

Strengths and Differences- cont.
If you have too much of the Lion quality, then try to be gentle and soft with people. The Otter needs to be more of a follow- through person. Golden Retrievers need to practice confronting. Beavers need to realize that nothing is ever as bad as it seems or as good as it appears. Letting go of the need to have everything exactly right is important for a Beaver to do

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The Golden Rule Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Treat others as THEY want to be treated.

Basketball Video

#6 Synergize Arms wiggle WORK TOGETHER TO ACHIEVE MORE

#6 Synergize Geese and Synergy X X X X X X X X

#6 Synergize The “High” Way
When two or more people work together to create a better solution than either could alone. It’s not your way or my way but a better way, a higher way.

#6 Synergize SYNERGY IS: Celebrating differences Teamwork
Open-mindness Finding new and better ways SYNERGY IS NOT: Tolerating differences Working independently Thinking you’re always right compromise

#6 Synergize Ropes Or Human Knot

#6 Synergize Ball Throw Hold your hand up, call name aloud

#6 Synergize Paper plane activity Get with partner
Make a paper airplane using only your non-dominate hands Throw back and forth IT TAKES A TEAM, NO ONE COULD HAVE BUILT THE AIRPLANE BY THEMSELVES WITH ONLY THEIR NON-DOMINATE HAND.

#6 Synergize Synergy doesn’t just happen – IT IS A PROCESS!!

Golden Sheet of Paper Take a gold sheet of paper.
Put your name and today’s date at the top. Pass around to each person from you school. They will put down one leadership quality that you have and pass it to the next person.

#7 SHARPEN THE SAW Arm in chopping motion RENEW YOURSELF REGULARLY.

#7 SHARPEN THE SAW How many of you have flown on an airplane?
The oxygen mask drops down and your niece or nephew is sitting on your lap. Do you put it on you first or your niece or nephew first???

It’ “Me Time” #7 SHARPEN THE SAW Caring For Your Body
You Are What You Eat Use It Or Lose It It’s All About How You Feel, Not How You Look

#7 SHARPEN THE SAW Caring for Your Brain Sharpen Your Mind
Find Your Niche Don’t Let School Get in the Way of Your Education

#7 SHARPEN THE SAW Caring for Your Heart RBA Deposits PBA Deposits
Laugh or You’ll Cry Helps us cope Reduces stress levels Connects us with others

#7 SHARPEN THE SAW Caring for Your Soul Meditating Serving Others
Writing in journals Going for a walk Drawing Praying Thinking deeply Listening to uplifting music Talking to friends Reflecting on goals and mission statements

Tall Nice Happy Outgoing Caring
#7 SHARPEN THE SAW Adjective Cards activity Tall Nice Happy Outgoing Caring

What Do You Value? Take a yellow card, piece of paper, or something to write on. Look at this chart that is on the next slide. Write down the things you value the most!

Write down all of the things below that you value.
popularity patriotism car friends money status clothes fun sincerity honesty work God hobby possession loyalty integrity good looks athletics power vision physical fit freedom family music education leadership knowledge wisdom Place of worship Personal Growth self-discipline other:

Value Now prioritize your list.
Put the most important #1, second, third and so on.

Now look at your top three!
Three ways we demonstrate what we value: By the way we spend the time! By the way we spend our money! By the way we treat others!

Values How did you choose yours? How important are values?
How can we really make sure we honor our values?

7 Habits Review Be Proactive Begin With the End in Mind
Take responsibility for your life! Begin With the End in Mind Mission Statement Put First Things First Prioritize, do the most important things first Think Win-Win Have an everyone-can-win attitude Seek First to Understand Then to be Understood Listen to people sincerely Synergize Work together to achieve more Sharpen the Saw Renew yourself regularly

FIRST IMPRESSIONS You have only ___ to ___ seconds to make a first impression! It takes approximately ____ additional encounters to undo or change a bad first impression!

MEETING AND GREETING OTHERS
Handshake – 3 pumps Eye contact Posture – Lean in Dress – Grooming Energy Level Relax Facial Expression Tone of Voice

How others Best hear us: Body Language -- 55% Tone of Voice -- 38%
Meet and Greet 3 people How others Best hear us: Body Language -- 55% Tone of Voice -- 38% Actual Words -- 7%

I POSSESS Interpersonal Skills Persistence Optimism Self-Awareness
Self-Control Empathy Social Skills Self-Motivation

Interpersonal Skills Combines Empathy and Social Skills – we will come back to later.

PERSISTENCE The ability to stick with something
What happens to a person who has low persistence? What happens to a person with high persistence?

Dog Persistence

PERSISTENCE CONT’D. Chair Sit
How will persistence affect some of the major choices you will make in your life in the next few years? High School College Job Marriage

Optimism The ability to be positive in the face of adversity or struggle. Annie

Optimism What are some situations that would require you to have optimism?

Thank You Letter Think of an adult in your school that you would like to thank! Spend a little time and write them a thank you on a yellow sheet of paper. This note is just between you and them. Fold it over 3 times and tape it. Put the name of the person and the school on the outside.

Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness First Impressions
You have only ___ to ___ seconds to make a first impression! It takes approximately ____ additional encounters to undo or change a bad first impression!

Self-Awareness The ability to understand who you really are.
How do we become more self-aware? Think of some things you would get from developing self-awareness. How can it make a difference in your life?

SELF-CONTROL The ability to control your impulses or urges to do something

Self-Control Self-Control is typically hardest for young and old people, why? What can I benefit from having self-control?

SELF-CONTROL How Well Do You Get Along With Others Handout

Empathy The ability to feel what others feel
Empathy is the Key to being Human Can you see empathy? Can you show empathy to someone else? What does empathy have to do with good character?

Empathy Trait Tracing It is easy to compare ourselves to others and to believe we aren’t good enough if we don’t measure up to the people we admire. Only when we recognize our own unique traits and values as a person and stop trying to be somebody else can we begin to build a good self esteem and a strong sense of who we are.

Empathy Trait Tracing Everyone in the group will find traits in each other that are different from their own. Everyone will take a piece of paper and pen or pencil and to make a list of their own unique traits. Go around and talk to each other. On the piece of each person must write down as many traits from other people in the group as they can find that are different from your own unique traits. The person with the longest list at the end of the time limit wins.

Empathy Trait Tracing Why is it important to find traits in each other that are different and unique? What would life be like if we were all exactly the same? How can you use your unique traits to build on and improve your self-esteem?

SOCIAL SKILLS The ability to interact with others in a positive, successful way. Would you rather go to a surgeon who has learned a technique for surgery or would you want to go to a surgeon who is “skilled” in the use of that technique?

SOCIAL SKILLS What skills seem to be the most important when working with other people? What skills might you need to hold a job?

SOCIAL SKILLS Interview Competition

Self-Motivation What do you think it means to be self- motivated?
The ability to tell yourself what to do, rather than having someone else tell you what to do. FREEDOM If you do what you know you need to do then you will earn more freedom!!

I POSSESS Get with your group by cards.
Come up with a cheer or chant using the I Possess skills. Example – YMCA song

Leadership The 7 Habits and More!! Joe Coles

Similar presentations

Presentation on theme: "Leadership The 7 Habits and More!! Joe Coles"— Presentation transcript:

Similar presentations

About project

Feedback

Log in

Auth with social network:

Leadership The 7 Habits and More!! Joe Coles

Similar presentations

Presentation on theme: "Leadership The 7 Habits and More!! Joe Coles"— Presentation transcript:

Similar presentations

About project

Feedback