1. Development of Friendship

2. What is a friend? How do we form and maintain a friendship?

3. What is Special about Peer Relationships?
Relationships of relative equality
Source of companionship and emotional support

4. Intimacy
The ability to share experiences with others, to establish and maintain a sense of closeness with other people

5. Autonomy
The ability to understand, coordinate, and negotiate one’s own needs and interests with the needs and interests of another person

6. Social Perspective Taking
Understanding of how people’s points of view are coordinated with one another
Robert Selman

7. DEVELOPMENT OF FRIENDSHIP

8. Level 1 Friendship (3-6 yrs)
Social Perspective Taking
difficulty understanding that others have perspectives different from one’s own

9. Level 1 Friendship (3-6 yrs)
Intimacy Function
being in the same place at the same time
sharing through unreflective sensorimotor imitation or “contagion”

10. Level 1 Friendship (3-6 yrs)
Autonomy Function
unreflective physical strategies

11. Level 1 Friendship (3-6 yrs)
Concepts of Friendship
physical or geographical associations
temporary bonds
desires of the self

12. Level 2 Friendship (5-9 yrs)
Social Perspective Taking
difficulty taking two perspectives into account simultaneously

13. Level 2 Friendship (5-9 yrs)
Intimacy Function
sharing through expressive enthusiasm, without concern for reciprocity

14. Level 2 Friendship (5-9 yrs)
Autonomy Function
one-way commands
unchallenging accommodation

15. Level 2 Friendship (5-9 yrs)
Concepts of Friendship
a friend is someone who helps me
lacks mutuality, lacks reciprocity

16. Level 3 Friendship (7-12 yrs)
Social Perspective Taking
understands that reciprocal subjective evaluations take place

17. Level 3 Friendship (7-12 yrs)
Intimacy Function
shared experience through joint reflection on similar experiences

18. Level 3 Friendship (7-12 yrs)
Autonomy Function
negotiation through cooperative or reciprocal strategies designed to protect the subjective interests of the self

19. Level 3 Friendship (7-12 yrs)
Concepts of Friendship
trust, cooperation
reciprocal interest
no sense of an enduring relationship

20. Level 4 Friendship (10-15+) Social Perspective Taking
can assume a third party perspective

21. Level 4 Friendship (10-15+) Intimacy Function
shared experience through collaborative empathic reflective processes

22. Level 4 Friendship (10-15+) Autonomy Function
negotiation through collaborative strategies oriented towards integrating the interests of the self and the interests of the other person

23. Level 4 Friendship (10-15+) Concepts of Friendship
mutual understanding
mutual concern
possessiveness

24. non-subjective relationships
relationship based on a positive feeling
relationship based on reciprocity and trust
relationship based on mutual awareness and understanding

25. Friendship Formation Establishing common-ground activity
GOTTMAN
Establishing common-ground activity
Greater communication clarity
More successful at exchanging information
More skillful at conflict resolution
More self-disclosure

26. Friendships of Very Young Children
Young children aren’t able to articulate their ideas about friendship
Depth of intimacy & strategies for negotiating conflict improve with age
Nonetheless, even toddlers interact differently with friends than with non-friends

27. Friendships of Very Young Children
spend more time with friends
attempt reconciliation more often with friends
quarrel more with friends
are more forgiving of friends
Friends act as a support in times of change

28. Friendships of Very Young Children
Loss of friends is associated with:
decline in social play
distress and anxiety
Early friendships can be stable
more than 50% of preschoolers have reciprocal friendships
more than 60% of these friendships are stable over 6 months

29. Sociometric Techniques
Nominations
Rating scales
Paired comparisons

30. Popularity and Sociometrics

31. Rejected-Aggressive Children
Tend to misinterpret innocent behaviors of others as hostile
Poor social problem solvers
Show severe behavioral problems

32. Does being Aggressive mean being Rejected?
Many aggressive children tend to form their own friendship networks
Many aggressive children have “best friends”
Networks and friendships are composed of other aggressive children

33. Rejected-Withdrawn Children
Shy, passive, socially awkward.
Have negative expectations of how others will treat them.
At risk of being victimized by bullies.

34. Rejected children (aggressive and withdrawn) have more difficulty than other children finding constructive solutions to difficult social situations.
Rejected children suggest fewer and more hostile strategies than do their more popular peers.

35. Neglected Children Socially uninvolved children Are they at risk?
usually well-adapted
not particularly unhappy or lonely
not aggressive or hostile
enjoy solitary activities

36. Is there a connection between being neglected and rejected?
It may be that neglected children are children who were rejected
rejection withdrawal
It may be that neglected children will end up being rejected
withdrawal rejection

37. Controversial Children
hostile and disruptive
BUT ALSO
engage in pro-social behaviors
appear happy and well-adjusted

38. Popular Children Friendly, helpful, considerate
How do they get to be popular?
Make attempts at entering group
Initially go along
Don’t ask too many questions
Don’t try to change group’s agenda

39. Stability of Sociometric Status
In the short term, popular & rejected are more stable than neglected or controversial
In the long term, sociometric status is relatively unstable except for rejected children

40. Close Friendship
Reciprocity
Quality

41. Popularity
Based on how many peers nominate a child as someone with whom they like to play or work.
There is only a partial overlap between popularity and friendship.

42. POPULARITY: involves gaining acceptance among peers
FRIENDSHIP: involves forming a stable & intimate relationship with a peer

43. Parker & Asher (1993) Low accepted children (LA)
High accepted children (HA)
Do LA children they have friends?
What is the quality of their friendships?

44. Parker & Asher (1993) HA more likely to have a best friend than LA
not all HA have a best friend
many LA have a best friend
best friendships of LA are more problematic than those of HA
regardless of status, children without a best friend are more lonely than children with a best friend

45. Popularity & Friendship contribute to children’s well-being
Popularity and Peer Acceptance
serve as a context in which children develop leadership skills, assertiveness, & conflict resolution strategies
Close Friendships
provide a safe context for self-exploration
meet child’s needs for intimacy and social support

46. Consequences of Close Friendships
School performance/adjustment
Social & emotional support

47. How can parents and teachers help children develop the skills for creating and maintaining close friendships?