1. Understanding Parenting Styles and Personality Development L.L. Mulhollem Counseling and Psychotherapy www.llmcounseling.com.

2. Understanding Parenting Styles and Personality Development Today, we will be reviewing snapshots of a program which offers a healthy perspective of parenting. We have integrated Biblical truth with the newest research in parenting and developmental stages.

3. o Program can be customized by topic o Topics are customized to need o Customizations are tailored for group size o The goal is to create a comfortable environment, encouraging interaction

4. What are Parenting Styles ? Considering each Developmental Stage Healthy Parenting & Considering Cultural Views Understanding How God Designed Us: Neuroscience Considering Each Stage and Healthy Parenting

5. Four topics will be considered today  Discipline versus Punishment  What are Parenting Styles?  Cultures Past & Present in Relationship to Parenting Styles  Personalities: Developmental Overview Depending on your platform, the following presentations are offered: 45-60 minute overview (ex: teacher/parent conferences) 3-4 session weekend seminar (ex: Friday evening, Saturday morning & early afternoon) 4-5 individual sessions (ex: Sunday School series)

6. Four topics will be considered today  Discipline versus Punishment  What are Parenting Styles?  Cultures Past & Present in Relationship to Parenting Styles  Personalities: Developmental Overview With the first topic, we focus on laying a foundation of types of parenting, cultural changes, and word descriptions and definitions, to ensure everyone is on the same page.

7. What has changed over the years ? SAMPLE

8. * What are Parenting Styles ? * Considering each Developmental Stage * Healthy Parenting & Considering Cultural Views * Understanding How God Designed Us: Neuroscience * Considering Each Stage and Healthy Parenting The second topic, developmental stages, primarily focuses on children. However, this can be adapted to consider adult developmental stages, such as aging parents.

9. Each developmental stage is broken down and discussed from each of the four constructs. This allows the parents to get a better understanding of where their children are, what they are capable of understanding, and considering age appropriate discipline. Each developmental stage is broken down, allowing a better understanding of where, what, capability of the child’s understanding.

10. We will consider the Biblical definitions of a “child”, as well as the different aspects the Bible uses for the word “child”.

11. Overview of Parenting Styles Overview of Developmental Stages Understanding How We Are Designed Wrapping it Up Healthy Parenting & Considering Cultural Views Every wonder why cultures and generations each have vastly different views on parenting? We consider these topics, looking at myths and truths from each culture and generation.

12. Connecting Parental Psychopathology and Parental Styles (Mulhollem, 2011) “Studies have proven a significant relationship.... What appeared to be a key to this generational circle is parenting styles.” (Brook, Balka, Fei, & Whiteman, 2006; Brook, Balka, Fei, & Whiteman, 2006; Laird, Marrero, & Sentse, 2010; Moilanen, Shaw, & Fitzpatrick, 2010; Murray, & Farrington, 2005; Nishikawa, Sundbom, & Hägglöf, 2010; Roelofs, Meesters, ter Huurne, Bamelis, & Muris, 2006; Surcinelli, Rossi, Montebarocci, & Baldaro, 2010; Vostanis, Graves, Meltzer, Goodman, Jenkins, & Brugha, 2006). In an age where people want more than the “how”, but also the “why”, actual clinical research is implemented to show why these techniques are important in healthy child rearing.

13. The topic Understanding How God Designed Us has been found to generate the most class interaction. The focus: Neuroscience and Brain Development

14. Points of discussion: o Overview of the Brain o Brain versus Heart, What does the Bible say? o Plasticity of the Brain o The Effects of Faith on the Brain o The Effects of Parenting on the Brain o The Effects of Technology on the Brain

15. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 1 Corinthians 13:11 Understanding the difference between a child’s brain and an adult’s brain is discussed.

16. Our View of Who God Is: How the Brain Grows Its Neuronetwork If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing! 1 Corinthians 13 Research shows our view of God has a direct relationship in maturation of certain parts of the brain including our ability to make logical decisions and control our emotions. - T. Jennings, 2013 Even our understanding of who God is changes our neuro-network, effecting the brain. We discuss and consider the proven research.

17. Technology has altered human physiology. It makes us think differently, feel differently, even dream differently. It affects our memory, attention spans and sleep cycles… (some) experts have praised the effects of tech on the brain… others fear tech has crippled our attention spans and made us uncreative and impatient when it comes to anything analog. When considering technology, we cogitate research that shows physical, emotional and psychological responses.

18. 12 - 21 Months 22 - 36 Months 3 – 6 Years6 – 11 Yrs. Our last topic focuses on healthy discipline within each developmental stage.

19. 22 - 36 Months Remember:  Preoperational stages start at earlier months  Self-conscious self-evaluation (pride, shame & guilt) reading others emotions  Motivation is to earn praise and avoid disproval  Increases interest in others, especially children (30-36 months) Discipline:  Lots of two way positive interaction like reading, playing, and healthy touch – PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE  Encourage basic Biblical principles (consequence of choices)  Vocabulary rapidly growing – encourage memorization of basic Biblical references.  Father and Mother relationship is important for child’s foundational security.  Avoid punishment based on “feelings” but more “dictatorship” style for foundational right and wrong. SAMPLE

20. The Car Theory Biblical rearing can be related to owning a car. Putting gas in the car is just one important part of maintenance. If your only focus is putting gas in the car, it will become unbalanced and will eventually render useless. With children parents or caregivers need to focus on all aspects of their lives in terms of healthy discipline. If you focus on just one, whether it be punishment, education, affection, or other, the child will become unbalanced. SAMPLE

21. Remember that as parents, YOU hold the reigns of the majority of your child’s development. Remember the age of your child and conduct appropriate communication for that developmental stage. Parental Support: religious/faith groups, parents groups, and close friends of the same sex Lastly, six final constructs in stress management are considered, assisting in healthy parenting!

22. Additionally, we take time to answer individual questions and generate discussion around what was learned, as well as, specific ways to implement strategies.

23. People who’ve attended our class said: ” … found myself wanting more like a great movie !” ” I think every parent should hear what you have to teach. Thank you so much !” “ I liked your discussion approach !” “Great information ! Nice to be ‘armed’ with accurate information !“ ” I learned a lot of values from this class !” ” I wish I knew this (information) when I was younger !” “ Very interesting to hear the science aspect on how the brain works !” “ After Rodney’s teaching on parenting styles I was convinced that I had been very indulgent with my son and need to work to improve my parenting “ “ Following the seminar I realized I need further help to be a better parent” “ (I) learn something new every time I come to your class and enjoy your speaking !” “ Thought the class was excellent ! Would recommend it to anyone ! “

24. People who’ve attended our class said: ” EXCELLENT ! We have three kids and found the material very applicable to use to raise them !” ” I have a much better understanding of my child because of Rodney’s teaching of developmental stages in children. ” ” Really enjoyed the class…very practical and with good ideas !” ” The info was good and it was great great to hear you bring in the Bible in the (clinical) teachings. ” “Thank you so much for your time !” ” Excellent information and detail on the reasoning for doing things in certain ways. ” ” I really appreciate putting the Bible in with this (class).” ” The class has been invaluable !” My one child has ADHD and some info. Supported what I already felt to be true. I’m glad God answers prayers. “

25. Professional References: “Rodney Mulhollem taught a six week parenting seminar at Mt. Calvary Church, which was very practical and insightful for our parents who attended. We found the seminar to be a tremendous help to our parents and can highly recommend it to anyone looking for an expert in the area of parenting” – D. Vaughn, M.A., Senior Pastor, Mt. Calvary Church ”One of the hardest jobs today is parenting – especially Christian parenting! Christ Lutheran was very fortunate to have Rodney Mulhollem conduct an eight week class to help us in our Christian parenting. Through power point information and class discussion we broadened our parenting skills and created a wonderful support for each other on a regular weekly basis. For that, we thank Rodney, and his wife Laurie, who also brought so much to the class.” Pastor J. Thomas, Christ Evangelical Lutheran Church “I had a lot of positive feedback! We want you to come back for a little longer talk and get more in depth – especially on the parenting styles and child development needs/changes as they grow… everyone was very positive.” – Vicky, President SSBVM (Seven Sorrows) Parent Teacher Organization I recently attended a Churches That Care forum hosted for local pastors taught by Rodney… Rodney’s down to earth style of communication was engaging and kept our interest. Rodney has an understanding and appreciation for the local church ministry as well as the challenges of the local pastor. – Dr. Mark H. Yarger, D.Min. Senior Pastor

26. L.L. Mulhollem Counseling and Psychotherapy Individual, Group, and Family Christian Based Counseling and Psychotherapy, Seminars, and Training www.LLMcounseling.com 717-489-2901